LEXI
I wakewith an ache in my chest and a weight in my gut. I took a week off after the meeting. I blamed the pregnancy. Blamed exhaustion.
Today, I go back to work, and for the first time, I don’t want to.
I blow out a breath and glance over at my husband. Casey’s draped over me, his leg tangled in mine, his hand splayed on my belly.
I don’t move. I just stay in the silence, that tight feeling in my chest growing.
All week I’ve tried to rationalize what happened in that room. I can’t and the self-doubt has eaten me alive.
It also made me feel alone. Completely and utterly unprotected in a place that I should have felt safe in.
It has sat on the tip of my tongue all week to tell Casey what’s going on, but I’m scared what he’ll do if I admit my fear.
Particularly since I’m not sure if I’ve made the whole situation worse than it is.
Maybe the touches were friendly. Maybe I imagined the intent. Maybe I’m losing it.
I have a meeting tomorrow with Janice. She said it was about compliance, a corporate word designed to drive fear into anyone who hears it.
And I am scared.
Not of the financial implications of losing my job. I know Casey will take care of me and our baby.
I’m scared of losing something that meant everything to me.
Casey pulls me against him, nuzzling his nose into the crook of my neck, kissing the skin there. “How long have you been awake?” His voice is thick with sleep.
“Not long.” I wrap my arms around his. As always, his touch grounds me.
Just tell him…
A sharp kick against my side—harder than usual—and Casey’s hand freezes.
“Was that… Was that a kick?” The awe in his voice chokes my throat.
He rolls me onto my back, his hand clutching my stomach. Tears prick my eyes. I’ve seen every side of Casey over the years. Happy, sad, furious—but I’ve never seen this. He’s looking at my stomach like it’s something sacred beneath his hand, like I just handed him the entire world.
“You felt that?”
He nods. “It was only faint, but yeah, I felt it.”
“It doesn’t feel faint to me,” I say. “It’s like she’s booting my lungs into my throat.”
Casey scrubs a hand over his face, like he doesn’t know what to do with himself. “That’s our kid, Lexi.”
My heart swells, everything forgotten but this. This is the softer side of my husband that nobody sees but me. “She’s active this morning.”
He shoves my camisole up, pulling my shorts down and bearing my skin. I’m not sure what he’s expecting to see, but hepresses his fingers against where she moved. “Come on baby, do it again. Come and say hi to your dad.”
The baby taps again against my side, and his mouth splits into a grin.
I laugh, despite the heaviness weighing on my shoulders. “She’s reacting to your voice, Casey.”
He kisses every inch of where he felt her move. “You have no idea the gift you gave me the day you got pregnant. I want to keep you in this state forever. You’re so fucking perfect.”
His reverence sends guilt stabbing through my chest. I hate lying to him, and I don’t know how to keep going like this. I can barely eat on the days I have to work. I sleep even less.
