“This is a step down from all-American QB,” Hickman says in a low tone while Hayes and Scotty move to the engine.
“I didn’t get that vibe,” I reply. The kid deserves a shot and I plan to make sure he gets a fair one. We might think we know him, but that’s up to him to decide.
“We’ll see how he feels about polishing my boots,” Hickman replies with a snort.
I cut him a stern look. Hazing is against policy. Some crews still do it, but I won’t tolerate that kind of behavior.
Hickman flashes his palms.
We run a series of grueling drills. It’s no surprise that Hayes, former college athlete, barely breathes hard. In the downtime after lunch, Scotty and I challenge Hayes and Hickman to a game of two-on-two. We lose miserably thanks to Hayes’ incredible accuracy and speed. I don’t think he breaks a sweat.
We respond to a couple of calls but nothing that gets my heartrate up. A false alarm fire drill at the high school, a report of a black bear in someone’s back yard, a medical call at a nursing home. All day I fight the growing ache in my chest and the tug at the edge of my thoughts, like I’ve forgotten something. It’s annoying as fuck.
It’s not like I would have gone home with him.
I stay out shooting hoops after the others go back inside. Idle time won’t serve me well today. My phone rings several times, but the numbers aren’t in my saved contacts, so they go unanswered. I think one of the callers is Annaleise, though Meg’s rattlesnake story is now cold, so what could she possibly want? The other number is a mystery, with an area code I don’t recognize.
Whoever they are, they’ll stop calling. They all do eventually.
Though I’m physically spent when I rack out, sleep doesn’t come easy. I can’t get Meg out of my mind. That bright laugh of hers. The way she traps her bottom lip between her teeth when she’s concentrating. How it felt to caress her forehead and hold her hand when she was scared. Watching that little gleam of mischief brighten her eyes when she teases me.
What will you do if I’m bad?
I can think of about a hundred answers to that question.Why don’t we start with bending you over my knee? Then we’ll see how long it takes you to beg for my cock.
The next day is a repeat of the first twenty four hours, only with no calls. We drill, share meals, work out, clean, play video games, shoot hoops.
After dinner, I check in with Greta like I always do, but she’s with her friends Cedar and Jenny, so she promises to call me back. When she does, I know she’s at Kelly’s because there’s a toddler babbling in the background.
I press my palm to my sternum and count slowly to three, but the ache spreads through my shoulders and wraps around my spine. It’s inexplicable and frustrating—I don’t want more kids with Kelly, or to go back to our rocky relationship or the torment of what she put me through.
Maybe it’s the reminder that I failed.
Maybe it’s a longing for what I’ll never have.
“Is that your dad?” Kelly calls out. “Can you tell him?—”
Before she can finish her sentence, the click of a door muffles everything.
“Sorry,” Greta says to me. Her bed springs squeak and she sighs.
“How was your day?” I ask to recenter our conversation. I make a note to remind Kelly not to use our daughter as our communication conduit. That’s not her job.
Greta shares some of her day. Hanging out at the swimming dock with her friends. Rocket pops from the snack shack. No mention of the driving practice she and Kelly were supposed to do. No surprise, but it irks me. I know the excuse Kelly will use because it’s the same one every time—she’s too busy. Taking care of her latest meal ticket, a saint named Mike, and his two kids.
We’re wrapping up our call when Greta adds, “Meg’s going back to work next week.”
My skin jolts. “Did you talk to her?”
“She texted me her schedule so I can take care of Kody.”
“She must be feeling better,” I say. That’s good right? She won’t need me.
“Why do you sound sad?”
“Me? Sad?” I scoff. The way we left things after Annaleise’s party has been echoing through my thoughts all day. Why didn’t I go after her? Apologize.
“Now that she’s on the road to recovery you can go back to hating each other.”
