“Have you ordered yet?” Hank asked after he cleared his throat inwarning.
I shook my head. “Just a few minutes ago. They cleared out ourappetizer.”
"The service is really slowhere."
Yes, I thought,and our conversation is really awkward. "I can flag him down if you want to put your order in." I saw our waiter and waved both of my hands in the air. The faster he ordered, the faster he could eat, the faster we could get out of this terrifyingly awkwardsituation.
When he finally made it over and Hank and Charity ordered, the silence was deafening. Pepper finally spoke. "So, Hank, I heard you created a pretty cool landscape forHelen."
Hank brushed off the compliment. "It's sustainable and will come back year after year. I made it as low maintenance as I could getit."
"So you like low maintenance, Hank?" Peppersaid.
I shut my eyes and silently counted toten.
"I do," Hank said through gritted teeth. "I also like silentthings."
I snorted out a laugh. "Lawnmowers must be torture foryou."
"Among other things," hesaid.
The area between Charity's brow wrinkled. "So how do you know Hank,Helen?"
"I've known him for awhile. I come into his nursery a lot. I just hired him to do a project for me. How aboutyou?"
Charity beamed and I felt Hank squirm a little bit. He wasuncomfortable.
Good.
"He comes in the library every so often. I never can find the books he wants, but I help scan themout!"
"Oh, that's wonderful," I said weakly. "How long have you been dating?" I was beingnosey.
Charity's perfect little cheeks pinkened. "Oh. Umm, a few months, Iguess."
I choked on a sip of my margarita. "Oh, really? Wow!" I nudged Hank with an elbow. "That's wonderful! Things must be going reallywell."
I hissed in pain as something pinched my thigh. I looked down and Hank's hand was on my leg. I forced a grin. "Sorry about that. I hurt my ankle the other day and I twinged itwrong."
Pepper was having so much fun she looked high. She wore a crazy smile and her eyes were glazed. Also, maybe that had a little bit to do with the margaritastoo.
I smacked Hank's hand off myleg.
Charity nodded. "They are! Hank is wonderful. He's coming to meet my parents in a fewweeks."
Hank stiffened beside me. I think he was surprised by this. Served himright.
"Helen had a surprise visit from the Deadication Dating Agency," Hankannounced.
I reached over and pinched right on the inside of his thigh, perilously close to his jingle bells. He hissed in pain and clapped my handdown.
Right on hiscrotch.
Color rose high on mycheeks.
But that wasn't the only thing that wasrising.
So. Huh. Hank was a big ol' liar. My hair color based upon the woman sitting right in front of me was just fine. And his reaction to my hand was also justfine.
