But what was worse about the whole thing was he was not alone. I couldn't see the face of the woman he was with, but I could vaguely make out herscent.
She was a ghoul,too.
Pepper, seeing my face, turned her head around. "Hey, Hank!" she said andwaved.
He gave her an awkward little wave and she turned around. "Oh my gods, that's Charity from the library," she stagewhispered.
"Charity?" I gave a little shake of my head. "Noidea."
"She’s not a librarian. She just helps scan the books out. She's fairly new here, but word on the street is she's single and ready to mingle, if you know what I mean." Pepper gave me a lustywink.
"Very nice," I said to her and gave her a grossed outlook.
She snickered and snapped her menuopen.
I had no idea why I was feeling so conflicted. Hank looked handsome as sin. I couldn't tell if he was wearing jeans, but in a place like this I would expect them. He wore a vivid blue button down shirt. His hair was brushed back from his face and he was freshly shaven. He looked nothing like the rumpled man who'd showed up at my house this morning. I gave a finger wave and turned my attention to the menu. I was going to do my best to keep my eyes on Pepper even though he was seated at such an angle that I was going to see him every time I lookedup.
Kill menow.
But Hank was entitled to be on a date. I was not entitled to be jealous. He'd told me more than once I wasn't his type. It was about time I listened tohim.
Pepperand I were on our second margarita and third bowl of chips when we finally burst out into hysterical laughter over Hank and Charity. She had a laugh like I'd imagine a Disney mouse would, high pitched and chittering. But the latter part of her laugh sounded like she was chomping on wood while having an asthma attack. Pepper first pointed it out to me and we'd stared at each other like we'd both gotten the best Christmas presents ever. But we kept our mouth shut because we were too close to actively talk about it without possibly beingheard.
So we kept drinking and every sip of margarita that went down made it harder and harder for us to stoplistening.
I knew for a fact that Hank wasn't as funny as Charity was making him out to be. Or, if he was, he never showed that side to me. Figured, he was on a date with her. Why would he waste all of his good jokes onme?
But after a particularly rowdy joke, I guessed, Charity was laughing so hard she sounded like a dying animal. Pepper and I both pressed our lips together, stared at each other with wide eyes, and did our best not to make a sound. It lasted for about ten seconds. Pepper's nostrils started flaring and her cheeks flared out like she was having an allergicreaction.
I brokefirst.
We laughed so hard tears streamed from our face, but we were trying to keep it quiet, which made it worse. On top of that, I accidentally made eye contact with Hank. His eyes were sparkling with mirth which made me laugh evenharder.
Charity turned around and greeted us with a bright smile. She was a pretty girl, but I suspected I knew why she was still single. That laugh could stop a train. "Oh my goodness," she declared. "Aren't you two having a grand time?" She was blonde, petite, and had pretty blue eyes ringed with long black lashes. Her nose turned up at the end and her ears were perfect and flat to her head. From what I could tell, Charity was wearing a strappy dress designed to show off her tan shoulders anddecolletage.
"It's Pepper," I said, wheezing with laughter. "She'shilarious."
Pepper snorted with laughter and did her best to wipe her eyes. "Helen is correct. It's true. I amhilarious."
"Well, maybe we should sit with you!" shedeclared.
My eyes widened. I threw a frantic look at Hank who looked just as weirded out as I did. "Oh no," I said and tried not to wince as I realized how strangled I sounded. "You're on a date. Please continue." I waved my handdismissively.
Pepper's eyes narrowed. "But we have room over here if you wantto!"
No, I mouthed to Pepper who gave me a wicked littlegrin.
"What do you say, Hank? Want to join yourfriends?"
I gave him a frantic little headshake. He opened his mouth, shut it, and finally sighed. "Sure."
Nooooooooo. If I could have murdered him with that look I would have. I went to move over to Pepper's side, but Charity with the wood chomper laugh scooted right in next to her, forcing Hank to scoot in next to me. The booth wasn't all that big and our thighs were melded together. The warmth of him went right through my jeans. I was going to kill him, then I was going to kill Pepper. And then I was going to kill them both again for goodmeasure.
"Long time, no see," she said toPepper.
“I haven’t been reading much,” Pepper admitted. “Mostly I just meddle in other people’slives.”
“Oh,” Charity said and gave Pepper a funny look which my friend returned with an innocentsmile.
