‘I don’t know what woo-woo is, but if you mean mental over physical, then yes, I suppose it is.’
‘You’ve never told me this story before.’ Lily looked at her grandmother with suspicion.
‘There are many things I haven’t told you, young lady – they are on a strictly need-to-know basis – but this one you need to know and now I am telling you.’
Lily leaned forward. ‘What were you not saying that caused you to lose your voice?’
Violet sighed. It was always painful to think of old memories of people passed, but now she was ninety-seven there really weren’t many memories that didn’t have the dead in them. That’s why she liked thinking about Lily more than anyone else.
‘Before your granddad, I was engaged to another man – Raymond. He came from a nice family, was well-off, and everyone felt we were the ideal fit.’
Lily’s eyebrows flew up with surprise. ‘You have never told me this. God, talk about keeping secrets for ninety-seven years! So what happened?’
‘Well Martin, your grandfather, he was my friend. He’d been my friend for years, always part of the group that did the theatre shows. He did the sets and the lighting. He was always rather reliable, but you know, he wasn’t rich or flashy. Raymond had a wealthy family in Derby and we met there, when I went to learn typing.’
She paused, thinking. ‘Raymond was respectable and safe. The sort of man my parents approved of. But when I came back to Appleton Green, to be inThe Boyfriend, and I was cast as Polly and my voice, it just went. It was so odd and upsetting, so I do understand how you feel.’
‘So what happened?’ Lily urged.
‘I was crying outside rehearsal one day, because I knew they would have to recast me, and then I couldn’t do the show and the thing I was saddest about wasn’t not performing, it was that I wouldn’t see Martin. And Martin came out to check on me, and I told him. I was so clear in what I wanted and then I went back in, and I sang.’
‘But what did Grandad say when you told him?’
Violet gave a little smile. ‘He said it was about time I came to my senses and then he kissed me and that’s when I knew I would be staying in Appleton Green. And here I am and here you are.’
Violet said, ‘I lost my voice because my body was reminding me that I was on the wrong road; it was telling me what my heart already knew.’
Lily’s eyes widened. ‘Do you think that’s me?’
‘I don’t know, but I do think you need to consider what you’re not facing right now. It took me some time to pay attention, mind you. When I did, though, when I broke things off with Raymond and told Martin how I felt, it was as if I could breathe once again. My voice returned more powerfully than before.’
Lily sighed and took her grandmother’s hand. ‘I don’t know that it’s that simple. I don’t think I’m not facing anything in my life. Truly.’
Violet gave Lily’s a hand squeeze. ‘My darling, the lesson is that your voice serves purposes beyond singing. It’s for honouring your heart and for expressing yourself. Sometimes our bodies discover a means to alert us when we are not living up to ourselves. Pay attention to it.’
Lily frowned. ‘But how did you come to know that was the right choice? Were you terrified Grandad would say no?’
‘No, because whatever happened, I was being truthful. I didn’t want to marry Raymond and I knew I would disappoint my parents and choose a life less safe, but do you know what was more terrifying?’
Lily shook her head and stared at Violet, her eyes wide, as though she were a child again.
‘The idea of leading a life different from who I was meant to be.’
She stopped; her voice grew softer.
‘I was always striving to be someone I believed I ought to be with Raymond. I could just be me with Martin. And that meant I was safe and honest, and I have lived a life I have loved, albeit not long enough with Martin.’
She thought about her beloved Martin and his gentle humour and endless support for her. He was a house painter and while it wasn’t glamourous work, it was honest and he gave Violet this wonderful little cottage and a son she loved and a granddaughter she adored. It was more than enough.
‘So do you think my voice will mend?’ Lily asked.
Violet paused, considering her words. ‘I don’t know, Lil, but it seems very odd that it happened right at that moment. Maybe you need to think about it. What was stopping you from singing? I don’t know what’s going on for you right now, only you do, but I think this is bigger than an audition. And I think you do too. Perhaps have a little break here and work out what it is that’s worrying you.’
Violet watched tears filling Lily’s eyes.
Lily nodded. ‘Thanks, Gran,’ she said and Violet could see the relief in her only grandchild’s expression.
‘Righto then, I saw that you brought an overnight bag.’
