There was a silence for a moment and then Lily spoke.
‘I can’t sing anymore,’ she said somewhat dramatically, Violet thought, or perhaps it was warranted. Time would tell.
‘You don’t want to sing or you can’t sing?’ Violet asked.
‘I can’t sing,’ Lily almost cried. ‘I went to theLes Misaudition. It was my third callback.’
‘I know – your mother called to remind me,’ Violet said.
‘Of course she did,’ muttered Lily. ‘Anyway, I was fine in the morning. I did the warm-up and everything, and then I got onto the stage and my voice was gone. It just disappeared. I tried and tried to sing but nothing came out. It was like my voice had frozen.’
‘And this was only yesterday?’ Gran asked.
Lily nodded, tears welling up. ‘And now, when I try and sing, my voice sounds like the air being let out of a balloon.’
Violet narrowed her eyes at her. ‘Have you tried to sing today?’
‘Yes, same as yesterday. Squeaky. I think I’ll have to see a throat doctor or something. I don’t understand it.’ Lily sighed and put her head back and closed her eyes.
Violet looked at her granddaughter. ‘Perhaps it’s more of a mental voice issue in your mind rather than in your throat.’
Lily opened her eyes and adjusted an already perfectly placed cushion next to her on the sofa.
‘You think it’s psychological?’
‘Well you look fine, and you were able to sing in the morning, so it can’t be a throat infection.’
Lily was silent, her beautiful face pinched and pale.
‘And it was right as you were standing on stage, for the third callback?’
Violet observed Lily across the edge of her teacup, her face a portrait of anxiety. Poor lamb, she seemed as though the weight of the earth had dropped on her shoulders.
‘So you’ve run away because your voice has run away?’ Violet joked, trying to lighten the situation. Lily’s smile was subdued but it was there.
‘I can’t laugh about it,’ Lily sighed. ‘What would happen if it never came back? What if I have lost it permanently?’
Violet sighed. ‘Voices do not simply vanish without a by-your-leave. They always come back when they are good and ready, just as cats do. There will be something bigger going on. I didn’t get to ninety-seven without knowing a thing or two about life, and this is one of those things I know about.’
But Lily wasn’t listening. ‘But supposing it doesn’t? What if I’ve wrecked everything?’
Violet shook her head. ‘Lily, darling, let me tell you something. I want you to listen properly, do you hear me?’
Lily looked up at the tone of her grandmother’s voice.
‘Yes, I’m listening,’ she said.
Violet nodded. ‘Good. When I was your age, I also lost my voice.’
‘Really? Or are you just saying this for some sort of life lesson moment that I’m supposed to learn from?’
‘Well you should learn from me all the time, as I am a wise old crone, but yes I did, though it was never about my voice physically; it was because I wasn’t telling the truth about what I wanted in life.’
Lily frowned. ‘What do you mean?’
‘I mean, you’re not telling the truth about something. You’re in denial about something, and your body is trying to tell you.’
‘That’s a bit woo-woo, isn’t it?’
