Ava’s smile is lop-sided. ‘My girlfriend’s pretty sweet.’
‘It happens on occasion.’ Still giddy from their kisses, it takes a moment for the full weight of Ava’s words to hit her. ‘Your girlfriend?’
Ava kisses the question from her lips. ‘My girlfriend.’
‘Are you sure?’
Ava’s breath ruffles Jean’s hair as she huffs a laugh. ‘What, are you trying to talk me out of it now? After you seduced me in a stationery cupboard?’
‘I just want you to be positive.’ Jean clutches Ava’s lapels, desperate to make her see. ‘I don’t think I’ll ever be able to tell Bridget. Speaking of sisters, Aaliyah’s not going to be thrilled either. And by the time you’re forty I’ll be pushing sixty – doesn’t any of that bother you?’
‘Hey.’ Ava kisses Jean’s forehead until the frown melts away. ‘I told you: I never expected you to tell everyone. It’s up to you whether you come out to Bridget. And if you never do, that’s fine. I promise.’
‘And your sister?’
Ava sighs, searching for the right words, though her grip on Jean never loosens. ‘Al was sick of watching me get my heart stomped on – there have been a couple of times when I’ve fallen for a straight woman, and it’s ended badly. Not,’ Ava says, hurriedly, ‘that that’s what this is. And once she sees that, once she knows we’re both serious, she’ll come around. I’ll have a proper talk with her later. Don’t worry.’
Jean nods, forehead tucked beneath Ava’s neck. ‘And the other thing?’
‘Your age never bothered me,’ Ava says, without hesitation.
‘Yes, but it mattered less when we were just hooking up. Now we’re trying to build…’A life. A life, together.The possibility is so vast, so perfect, that Jean can’t fit her mouth around it. ‘Something real.’
Still Ava doesn’t share her panic. ‘I’ve never met anyone quite like you, Jean Howard.’ Her hand cups Jean’s chin, tipping it up until their eyes meet. ‘Not before and not now. Not in my entire life. I love you exactly the way you are. And I wouldn’t change one single thing about you – not even when you go Full Glenn on me.’
Oh.
‘And, well…’
‘What?’
‘It’s not like I’m trying to get you pregnant. So, what does it matter?’
For a long moment Jean can only stare at her, incredulous. Then the laughter’s pouring out of her, impossibly loud in the tiny room. Ava slumps against her, wheezing. And only the lack of space to fall keeps them both upright, entwined around one another for support.
This is how Beth finds them, clearing her throat until they take notice, still giggling like naughty schoolgirls.
‘Ms Harris – Ava.’ Beth lingers in the doorway, lips twitching as she takes in their mussed hair; Jean’s lipstick smudged bright around Ava’s mouth. And Jean waits for the shame to hit her, the embarrassment of being caughtin flagrante delicto, but there’s only the reassuring warmth of Ava’s hand against her back. ‘We have a prospective donor waiting upstairs. Shall I say you’ll be five minutes?’
‘Yes,’ Ava says. ‘Thank you, Beth.’
The moment the door closes, they dissolve into fresh giggles, Jean smoothing Ava’s curls. She retrieves a comb from her clutch to fix her own hair, wiping their mouths clean with an anti-bacterial wipe that nips at Jean’s swollen lips. And Jean applies a fresh coat of lipstick while Ava waits, blushing at the tender look in her eyes.
Then Ava takes her hand, and they step out into the open.
Chapter Thirty-One
Even Aaliyah thaws over time, as Jean keeps showing up at Ava’s side. There for Theo’s violin recital, Evie’s fifth birthday party, and fortnightly dinners at the Harris-Emmanuel family home. The first time Aaliyah offers Jean a refill of wine, the glass nearly slips from between her fingers, though she quickly recovers herself. Ava squeezes her leg under the table, which does nothing to calm Jean’s racing pulse.
They carry on this way until, after Theo’s school nativity play, he asks: ‘Why is Jean here?’
Ava’s gloved hand closes around Jean’s as they cross the frosty carpark.
‘To see you being a shepherd,’ Aaliyah says, swift to fill the awkward silence. And, hissed in a white puff of air: ‘Don’t be rude.’
Theo tugs the dishtowel from his head, indignant in the way of the falsely accused. ‘If I’m being rude then you need to give Nanny C trouble too, because I heard her asking Grandpa the same thing.’
Simon gives a high-pitched giggle, which dies on the pointy end of his mother-in-law’s stare. They linger by Aaliyah’s Range Rover in an uncomfortable silence that threatens to stretch on all night, until Jean steps forward. Looks the boy in the eye. ‘I’m here because I’m Ava’s girlfriend. And because I wanted to support you.’
