“Oh.”Oh? What kind of reaction was that?I was supposed to say sorry for your loss. Or something heartfelt. But if he was telling the truth, he didn’t love her. Surely he cared that she died though? “What happened?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“It does to me.” I stared at him, willing him to tell me his story. I wanted to know everything about him, yet nothing at all.
He sighed and broke his eye contact with me. “She tried to have me killed.”
“On our wedding night?” I knew that he had been shot on our wedding night, but I didn’t know the story. His ex-wife? Seriously? That was insane.
“She was a monster.”
I bit the inside of my lip. I had just thought of myself as a monster. Was I the same as his ex-wife? I shook away the thought. I had never tried to kill anyone. I was just tiptoeing around breaking James’ heart.
“And when she didn’t succeed, she came after you. Briggs shot and killed her when she attacked us again.”
I swallowed hard. Apparently my life was always in danger when I was with him. “So you’re not cheating on me?” I didn’t even know why those words spilled out. Maybe it was the wine. But maybe I truly wanted to know how strong our relationship was.
“Penny, I would never, ever cheat on you. You’re my whole world. I swear to you, I have always been faithful. I’ve never ever thought about cheating on you. All I ever think about is you. You’re it for me. As soon as I met you, my heart was yours.”
He was staring at me so intently I felt like I was going to combust. I wasn’t sure what compelled me to do it, but I reached my foot out and rubbed it against his shin. I wanted to be close to him. I wanted to taste him. I wanted to see every inch of him.Fuck, what am I doing?I was about to move away when James reached under the table and put his hand on my thigh.
His touch made me feel numb, yet set my whole body on fire at the same time. God, he owned me. I didn’t remember a thing about him, but his touch possessed me. My body remembered him, even though my mind didn’t.
I swallowed hard. “James.” I stared at him. “I don’t…I’ve never…” This wasn’t coming out right. My mind was screaming at me to excuse myself to the restroom to try and clear my head. But I couldn’t deny the fact that my body desperately wanted him. I wanted to beg him to make love to me. I wanted to know what it felt like. I wanted him to ruin me for anyone else.
But Jerrod killed the moment. He walked in with the food and I immediately removed my foot. I retreated back to my side of the table like it had never happened. It was like I had closed a curtain on the idea of us being intimate. And I hated myself for it. Because my dream of him? I wanted to live each second of it.
