“I really hope so,” I say to Markus. “I think we should take you up on that offer to do a few Skype refreshers before the wedding.” I glance at Jay, he looks cute in his sweats, his hair a little messy and hanging over his eyes. He looks up at me underlong, thick lashes, his eyes are electric tonight and filled with excitement. “What do you think, JJ?”
The dimple appears on his cheek, brought on by that little side-smile he does so well. I think that’s where he earned the termbabyface,which so many people refer to him as.
“I think it’s a great idea, should keep us in line before Tanner and Deb’s big day.”
“Fabulous, we’ll tee something up,” Markus says. “And look after each other. I have a feeling about you two.”
Jay and I both look at each other for a moment. My eyes slowly grow wide. Does Markus think we’re a couple? I’m pretty sure I explained we were friends when I filled in the application for the private tuition, but maybe not.
“Oh—we’re not…” Trailing off seems to only spark his curiosity as he looks at a chuckling Jay.
Markus is clearly having trouble with comprehending that. “You two never–?”
I see Jay shake his head in my periphery. “Nope.” He pops the ‘p’ in a very Jay Jefferson style. “But she sure is cute.”
I shove Jay in the shoulder, covering my embarrassment with a laugh.
“Well, I’m telling you, you have chemistry on the dance floor. It’s what everyone wants,” Markus says. “And what so many struggle to find.”
I swallow the lump in my throat and blink down to my shoes.
Markus thinks we have chemistry? I mean, we do, undoubtedly. But someone else saying it somehow makes it feel very real. I glance at Jay and he has a cute, soft smile on his face, not the cocky kind he’s been dishing out all night, but something else. It’s as though he likes what Markus said, or he has a secret I’m not let in on.
I’m too coward to ask him, so I just smile back. It’s safer that way. So much safer.
CHAPTER 14
Jay
Fargo, North Dakota
Ten years ago
Seeing Grandpa Ray puts a permanent smile on my face that I haven’t felt in so long; happiness. And it’s not that it’s been a nightmare staying with the Jones family, it’s all the shit in between with getting away from my mom to finally reach North Dakota.
My uncle Ricky is just as happy to see me when I get off the bus and plonk my duffel bag down. It’s amazing what fits into those things, my entire life as it would seem. Crazy to think that my life this far can fit into one bag that I’ve just carted across god knows how many cities to get here. All for the love of the game.
My grandpa may not be my biological family, neither is uncle Ricky, but they’re the closest I have to any kind of real family and have made me feel more at home with them even just standing here on the dirt road while the bus pulls away.
Ray married my grandmother, Lani, my mom’s mom. It was the second marriage for both of them. My mom had already left home when they got together and was carving out her own life with the wrong crowd.
I also have a real Uncle who lives here, Leo, mom’s brother. We haven’t kept in contact much over the years, but we throw a text to each other every now and again. He’s alright. He certainly turned out better than my mom did.
“How are you, kid?” Grandpa sticks out a large, weathered hand and gives me the handshake of my life, assessing my features with a quick sweep over. “You look like you need a good hot meal.”
I laugh a little nervously as I shake it and he pulls me into a bear hug. The man is a burly dude who retired from working in a security company years ago. It’s safe to say he’s seen and done it all.
He was devastated when my gran died five years ago and has never had another woman in his life since. “I’m alright,” I say as he holds onto me for dear life, it’s almost impossible to get out of his hold. It forms a wedge in my throat as my mom has never truly hugged me or given me anything close to resembling love. Then it’s Uncle Ricky’s turn, and he gives me a good thump on the back for good measure, inclusive of the strong bear hold hug he has on me.
There’s not many times in my life I know I’ve been fucking safe, only with Tanner’s family, and with Grandpa Ray. And this is one of them I’ll always remember. I know I don’t need to worry about who’s coming and going while I’m asleep. If Gus is going to pick another fight with me, or if Mom is going to be drunk or bring some other guy home when Gus isn’t there.
I’m so fucking relieved that it doesn’t have to be my life anymore. I can start fresh here and do what I always wanted to do; play hockey.
“Don’t you worry now, my boy, we’ll get everything sorted out in no time.” Grandpa Ray tips my chin up with his hand. “You don’t have to worry anymore, okay?”
I swallow hard, the sound of it audible to all of us. And tears, fucking more traitorous tears that I usually reserve for private time, threaten to break right here and now at the bus stop.
“Thanks,” I garble out, trying to disguise it all with a cough into my palm, my best attempt at clearing my throat proves futile. Uncle Ricky looks down at me with sympathy. He’s built the same as my grandpa, tall, broad, short red hair and matching beard. Eyes that could tell a thousand tales in the depths of them. But Ricky has had a good life with a father like Ray. He’s made it his mission to keep him on the straight and narrow. And now, he’s extending that to me.
