“He got caught up in some scandal with another woman… and a guy,” I say, my voice not even sounding audible. It’s a wonder Jay can hear me.
When I glance up, he’s staring at me with an expression I’ve never, ever seen on his face. And I’m not sure I like it. It’s annoyance; a deep scowl and unfathomability resonating in the depths of his eyes, like they’re growing darker by the second.
He’s furious.
“That fuckface cheated on you?” he seethes, I think he’s repeating the words more to himself than asking me for clarification. “What the ever living fuck, J?”
Strangely, his reaction and all his sudden swearing somehow makes me feel better about the situation. “Well, he did,” I sigh. “And when I told him I wanted nothing to do with him anymore, he tried to win me back. I don’t think he was expecting me to actually pack up and leave him.”
“I can’t fucking believe it. Tanner knew something was up. They don’t know, do they?” he asks. “Your family?”
“No. Thank god Aaron isn’t so well known yet that it made the news or anything. But no, I didn’t want to say anything to my dad or Tanner because I knew how mad they’d be and they’d want to confront him.”
“Jade, this is fucking serious. They deserve to know,” Jay’s tone is softer towards me than his expression, but somehow intense at the same time. I see the look of concern etched in his face with knitted eyebrows. His eyes still seem like they’ve turned a little turbulent, venturing into the deeper depths of the ocean. His body is definitely more rigid than when we walked inhere, and there’s a tick to his jaw that wasn’t there before. “This isn’t on you, it’s on him.”
“I know.” Suddenly feeling dry, I wet my lips with a sweep of my tongue, then reach for my drink – but even that isn’t enough. “And there’s something else.”
Our eyes lock again as he waits for me to go on.
“I quit my job back when I first came out here three months ago. I’ve been sick of working for the school for a while now. For this past year I’ve felt more and more that I wasn’t following my dreams anymore, but I stuck it out because I spent so long getting my degree.”
He blinks several times, his lips part for a second as he takes in what I’m saying. His gaze holds my face, and somehow encourages me to go on without speaking any words.
“So I’ve been working on my app this whole time and concentrating on my social media accounts. My parents have no idea I’m going into yoga as a job. They think I’m going to move back home and find a teaching job there. I haven’t told them I don’t want to do it anymore.”
“Jade.” Jay reaches over to my hand, sliding over the crisp white linen tablecloth between us. His fingers glide over the top of my hand and rest there, giving me a comfortable squeeze. The warmth of his hand over mine feels like a safety net, a comfortable, cozy blanket. There’s also something else I’m feeling in the form of a light electric current, moving faster, working its way into my veins. “I’m so sorry.”
I reach for my drink and throw down the rest of its contents down my throat in one mouthful.
Jay reaches for the carafe to pour us another. “Fucking hell, Baby Girl. I think you need this more than me.”
A tiny smile edges around my lips at his words, surprising me, because the last thing I thought I’d be doing after my outburst about all the shit going on in my life is smiling aboutit. But it’s there again with him, the warmth of his presence. The way I feel safe.
He knows just the right thing to say at the right time.
“Here’s to putting worthless idiots in the past and moving on.” I raise my glass in a show of toast, hovering it in the air as Jay lifts his to meet mine in a clink.
“I’ll drink to that,” he says, as we both take another larger sip. It’s not exactly the same as doing shots, but close enough.
He’s still holding his hand over mine on the table as the air settles between us, he doesn’t look like he’s about to move it anytime soon. And I don’t want him to.
CHAPTER 12
Jade
“Are you going to talk to your folks about everything when you get home?” he asks.
The breath that leaves me says everything. “Yes. I need to. I don’t know what’s been stopping me. Sometimes I guess you just get this idea in your head of what your parents expect of you, and after so much work in college that they helped me pay for, and getting my degree, I kinda feel like I owe it to them to have a fully fledged teaching career.”
“But you will, teaching something you love and enjoy,” Jay says without hesitation. And boy, does that warm the cockles around my heart, I feel it throb in my chest. He doesn’t see it as a sideline or an after work activity. He sees it for what it is, a career with meaning for me. “I mean, that’s what you love to do, right?”
“Yes,” I reply with a few simultaneous nods, like one isn’t enough to make my point. “I feel free when I’m doing what I love. And I just got to the point where I felt like sitting in a classroom was slowly making my dreams disappear. I loved thekids, don’t get me wrong, but being in the school environment just wasn’t resonating with me.”
“You know, you’re allowed to change your mind even after college,” he says. “It happens, Princess, all the time. It’s nothing to feel bad about. You get one life to live, and you’ve got to do what makes you happy. I might not know much, but I know that.”
Tears prick my eyes as we look at each other over the table. Jokes and wisecracks long forgotten. Even our fun little dance lesson seems off in the distance somewhere. “I just don’t want to disappoint them,” I whisper.
Jay shakes his head. “They love you, Jade. I know you want to make them happy, but you have to give them a chance to understand where you’re coming from. They’ll always be proud of you no matter what. Trust me, your parents aren’t a nightmare, they will get it when it’s all out in the open.”
