I smile as I look out to the horizon, imagining wild horses roaming through the grassy land. “That’s really neat.” I pull my knees to my chest and continue to look out to the field.
“Lana.” I turn to look at him. His features are soft as he examines my face. “Will you please tell me what she said?”
My heart rate picks up, and I widen my eyes. “No. I don’t want to think about it.” My voice quivers as I speak.
I dig through my bag and pull out my sketch book. I’ve been picturing what it would be like to update this place. Design new cabins that aren’t as outdated, breathe new life into the ranch. Business doesn’t seem to be lacking, but I imagine updated rooms couldn’t hurt. I’ve had thoughts running through my mind since last night.
I couldn’t sleep after he left last night. I tossed and turned for a while before I pulled the sketch book out and started messing with some designs. It’s more than building new cabins, but the interior as well. Changing the layout, updating the fixtures, and adding more history to the ranch.
I flip open to the page I was working on last night—my bedroom at the ranch. I rearranged the furniture and added larger windows to the room. With this new information from Tristan, I want to add some elements of the ranch to keep it special and unique to its origin.
“Did you draw that?” he asks, his voice warm with admiration.
He’s looking over my shoulder at my drawing. “Yeah. I couldn’t sleep last night and kept picturing how I’d change the cabins and make them more modern if I could.”
He holds his hands out for the sketchbook, and I give it to him as he examines my work. His smile grows as he flips back through other sketches I’ve done. Most of them are of rooms or buildings, but he stops on one. It’s a profile of Joe. I had drawn it a few weeks ago.
“This the guy?” Tristan asks. His fingers grip the sides of the book a little tighter, and the muscles in his jaw clench.
“Yeah. That’s him.” I stare at the picture. I remember how excited I was when I sketched it. I thought it looked so much like him, and I couldn’t get over how handsome he was. Now, when I look at it, it looks like every other guy at my school. No real defining features. Just another preppy jock who comes from a rich family and has never worked hard a day in his life. Funny how things can change in just a few short days.
“I’m not sure what I ever saw in him, to be honest.” I peek at Tristan through my lashes and reach my hand out for his. “I need someone like you, not him. You strive for what you want and work hard to get it.”
He tosses the book to the side and pulls me to him, our bodies and lips crashing together. I crawl over him, never breaking the kiss, and straddle his thick thighs.
Fuck.
Women are going to sing praises about his thighs if they get any bigger. I rock my hips back and forth. The seam of my jeans rubs against my clit, and my body trembles with anticipation. I moan as he wraps his hands around my face, holding me close to him. He nips my lower lip, and I gasp, the small amount of pain shooting pleasure straight to my core.
“Tristan,” I whisper, my eyes rolling back.
“Come on, baby. I’ve got you. I want to see you come,” he says in between peppering my face with kisses.
His words should turn me on even more, but they’re sobering instead. My rocking slows, and I open my eyes to look at him.What am I doing?Kasey’s words come back tenfold, and I climb off him, suddenly aware of how heavy I must feel in his lap.
“Why’d you stop? What’s wrong?” A look of concern flashes across his face. He reaches out for my hand, but I pull it out of his reach.
“It’s nothing. I’m fine,” I mumble.
“You’re not fine. Two seconds ago, you were getting ready to come in my lap, telling me you need someone like me. And now you’re shying away.”
I sit there quietly and stare into the open field in front of me. My chin quivers, and I hold my breath, trying to stop the onset of tears. He puts himself in my line of vision, and I blink at him until he comes into focus.
“Can I make you feel good?”
It’s a loaded question. Yes, I’m sure he can. Do I want him to? Abso-fucking-lutely, but I’m stopping myself.
“Do you think I’m fat?” I hate the way my words sound so small. My life has changed so much in the past few months. I’m no longer that invisible girl with very few friends. I’m supposed to be cool and confident now. Yet I’m letting a few hurtful words bring me down like an avalanche.
“Is that what Kasey said to you?” He keeps his voice soft, but I don’t miss the way his muscles flinch in his arm. When I don’t supply an answer, he continues. “No, Lana. I don’t think you’re fat. She said it because she’s jealous that I’ve moved on. She figured I’d wait for her until the day I died, and then you came along.”
“Yes, but I leave in a week.”
“Doesn’t matter. If we want this to work, we’ll make it happen. I like you, Lana.” He ruffles his hair and gives me his full attention so I don’t miss anything. “Fuck, I like you a lot. You make me excited for things I never thought possible.”
I turn my head to the side. “Like what?”
He smiles and picks up my sketch book. “Do you know I’ve thought about expanding and adding more cabins? I’ve never told Mom and Dad, but seeing your designs for changing that cabin makes me want to push the idea.”
