I really hope we’re able to do that for him.
Roman rubs Eli’s back, fighting hard to keep himself from crying. I’ve spent enough time with him at The Hart Foundation that I know how hard his job can be for him. I’ve also spent plenty of time holding him while he crieshimself to sleep over whatever awful thing he’s seen or heard.
He’s not alone in that. Especially not today. God, my chest hurts so badly it’s a miracle I can even breathe. I haven’t felt pain like this in years. I didn’t know it was possible for me to have such a visceral emotional reaction to someone I don’t even know.
Eli’s cries have tapered off, but I can’t relate. My own tears are still coming. It honestly feels like they might not ever stop.
Roman whispers something I can’t make out, and Eli nods, his body losing all its fight as he slumps against Roman, not even supporting his own weight anymore. Roman locks eyes with me and motions for me to come closer. With a deep breath, I stand and make my way over, doing my absolute best to wipe the tears from my face and keep any more from coming. This kid has gone through enough without adding my dramatics to it. I sit down on the bed beside Roman, and Eli sits up, rubbing at his face again.
I don’t like the look of his lip and the medical professional in me is itching to get my hands on him, even though I know he’s been checked out by the nurse Sasha has on staff.
Sad, green eyes latch onto mine, and all the breath leaves me in a rush. “I’m Eli.”
I try for a smile, but I’m not really sure how it comes out. “I’m Beck.”
“Roman told me about you,” he says, nodding, then drops his face back to Roman’s chest. My heart constricts painfully.
Even though I can see the pure despair swimming in his eyes, his lips tilt up and he nods. “Eli,” I say, waiting until he lifts his head and looks at me. “Can I take a look at your lip?”
He stares at me for a second, then shoots his eyes to Roman’s. Roman nods. “Beck’s a PA.”
Eli’s nose scrunches up. “What’s that? Like a doctor?”
I almost laugh at his unintended joke. “Yes and no. I’m a physician assistant. I can do almost all the same stuff as a doctor, though.”
He eyes me warily, like he doesn’t quite trust that, and I know that he’s going to get along with Holden in a way I maybe wasn’t anticipating. He does nod again, though. “Yeah, you can look at it.”
I offer him a small smile. “Okay, I’ll be right back. I’m going to bring some medicine for the pain too.”
Before I can make it to the small medical center, Sasha stops me. “Is he okay?”
“I’m not sure how anyone can be okay after finding out their dad doesn’t want him, but he’s calm. At least for now. And I think that’s the most we can hope for.”
She shakes her head, frustration clear on her face. “I hate that he found out this way. He overheard me mentioning it to one of the staff and he lost it. Understandably, of course. I’m sorry, guys.”
I give her arm a gentle squeeze. I really don’t have the time or the inclination to comfort her right now. That makes me feel shitty, but my current and future priorities are in the other room, covered in blood and waiting for me to get back to them. “All good, Sasha. Don’t beat yourself up. I’ve got to grab some stuff from the med center and head back, though.”
She nods, stepping back quickly. “Yes, of course. Sorry, Beck.”
After grabbing everything I think I’ll need, I head back to Roman and Eli. This time when I step through the door and close it behind me, Eli appears calm. He no longer has his face buried in Roman’s chest, and he’s sitting up with a forlorn expression.
I walk slowly toward them and kneel in front of Eli. This poor kid looks like he’s been put through the ringer and it makes a strange pain echo through my heart, reminding me so much of Roman when I first met him. Lookingback now, I can’t believe I didn’t realize sooner what was happening to him. He often had this same look on his face. Defeated. Lost. Hurt.
Eli’s eyes lock on mine and I hold out two pills to him. “It’s just ibuprofen. It’ll help with the pain and swelling.” Eli takes them and places them on his tongue, before picking up a bottle of water off the table by the bed and swallowing the pills. “Can I get you cleaned up?”
He lets out a sigh that seems to come from his very soul and nods. I sit down beside him and open the package of baby wipes I took. It’s not the ideal thing to clean with, but it’ll work in a pinch. “I’m going to touch you, okay?”
He nods again. I cup his chin gently in my hand and start working to clean the blood from his skin. I keep my touchgentle so I don’t irritate his already bruised skin or the busted lip that’s still oozing blood. He sits quietly, staring at me the entire time, his eyes never once leaving mine. Roman was right. Brave kid, indeed.
When I start wiping the blood from his throat, it bobs under my touch. “I ruined my shirt,” he says quietly.
“No you didn’t,” Roman says before I even have a chance to say anything. “We can soak it if it’s a big deal to you, but if not, it can be thrown away, and we can get you more.”
Fresh tears well up in Eli’s eyes. “It was the first thing you got me, though.”
Oh my fucking heart.
“Hey, it’s okay,” Roman says. “We can get you another shirt.”
