Chapter Thirty-Eight
ELLIE
Present Day
The distant sound of music seeped through the walls, drawing me closer to Dylan's room.The playful mix of their two voices stirring memories of the countless nights I spent on the phone with Lee, and I could almost feel the warmth of him beside me, wishing he were there with me.
Leaning against the doorframe, I watched Dylan and Carrie for a quiet moment where my mind wandered.Every note they sang seemed to pull at the strings of my heart, unraveling emotions I thought were long buried.Then, his words cut through the melody, halting my breath, and freezing me in place.
“I miss her hair; I miss her touch.
She’s the reason why I believe in love so much.
Without her with me, I can never be.
I can never be.”
His words hung in the air as it ended and I closed my eyes, willing the song to continue.When I realized it was over, I demanded a replay, "Play it again," I said, stepping into the room, my fingers fumbling over the radio in search of a button that didn't exist.Dylan's laugh dropped me back into the present.
"It's the radio, Mom, you can't replay it," he chuckled, looking at Carrie in amusement.
“Who was it?Who sings that song?”I asked.
“I don’t know.It just came out; they’ve been playing it all day.”He looked at Carrie, and she shrugged, not knowing the answer either.
I ran out of the room, looking for my phone, the lyrics burning in my mind like a mantra.When I found it, I typed the words into a search engine, praying it would come back with the name of the song and the artist so I could listen to it again.There it was: A new single by Shawn Lane, Faded Memory.I whispered the title to myself, its name resonating within me.I listened to the song on repeat, each time, it brought me a sense of de ja vu, and I kept wondering if I was hearing the lyrics right.
Dropping my phone on the bed, I hurried to my closet, hands trembling as I reached into the back corner, high on the shelf, for my hidden box.It was where I kept all of Lee’s letters.The letters spilled out around me, and I sifted through to find the one I was looking for; his words etched onto the page like a faded memory.My throat cracked at the connection of my sentiment to the name of the song when Dylan and Carrie came in.
I must have been a sight, sitting on the floor of my closet with letters all around me; their concern evident as Dylan picked up a letter and realized they were written in his dad’s handwriting.
“Mom, what’s wrong?”Dylan asked.
Aha!I found it!Leaning back on my heels, I read the letter again, then stood up and handed it to Dylan.“Read this, I’ll be right back.”I retrieved my phone from Dylan’s room and then listened; my heart pounding while Dylan read Lee’s words out loud, and I waited for his reaction.
“Okay, it’s a letter from Dad.”He says shrugging.He handed me the paper back.“I don’t get it.”So, I played him the song again, fast forwarding to the part that stopped me in my tracks.
“Do you hear anything that sounds like what was written in that letter?”I ask them.
As he read the words again, the realization dawned on him, mirroring the shock and confusion in Carrie's eyes.Carrie placed a hand over her mouth and shook her head, “Oh my God, you’re right.”The impossibility of the connection leaves us speechless for a moment.
"How?"I whispered the question, not expecting an answer.
With a shaky hand, Carrie reached for the letter, her eyes scanning the page as if searching for a hidden answer.God, I miss your eyes, your hair, your touch.Ellie, you’re the reason I believe in love so much.Without you with me, there’s no such thing.And then, as Dylan played the song once more, the similarities between Lee's words and the lyrics of the song became undeniable,I miss her hair, I miss her touch.She’s the reason why I believe in love so much.Without her with me, I can never be.
"No one else haseverseen this letter except for me and the two of you right now," I murmured, my voice barely above a whisper.The heat in the room crept up my neck, making me fan myself with the papers in an attempt to cool down.It was too familiar a feeling, transporting me back to the moment that I locked eyes with Lee when I was thirteen, my mind racing between past and present.The prick of sweat traced its path down my back, and I found myself staring at the face of my son, the very mirror of his father.And in that moment, a certainty washed over me, sending shivers down my spine.
Lee was alive, and he was out there somewhere, waiting to be found.
“Mom.I have to tell you something.”Dylan put the letter down on top of the pile.“Last night, when Carrie and I went out to eat, someone paid for our dinner and …” he trailed off, goosebumps fleshed out on him, making the hair on his arms rise.“I was so sure that I saw him, but it was a split second between my thought and when my brain told me to go and by the time I made it outside, he was already gone.”
“What?You saw your dad?Here, in Oakhaven?”I asked.He nodded and I bit my lip, thinking about what this could mean.
“But how is that even possible, you guys?He died in a fire seventeen years ago.”Carrie says, still confused.I shook my head, reeling from the realization that this could actually be happening.
“They were never able to confirm that the body found in the fire was Lee.”I told them, my voice quivering at the weight of the words that just left my mouth.“His parents weren’t convinced at the lack of evidence aside from his wallet and a ring that were left behind.They asked for an investigation but were shot down every time until they gave up.They figured that if Lee had survived, news would have found them, or he would have surfaced somewhere.When that didn’t happen, they planned a funeral and buried an empty casket, but they never told anyone about their suspicions except me and Grandpa when they came to meet you for the first time.”
The room was eerily silent, and I’ve never been so excited for something in my entire life.
