“We will help you along the way and we will be here anytime you need us, but you are his mama and Lee loved you very much.He told me often that you are the one he wanted to raise his future children with and here you are, living that out.I have no doubt that you will raise this boy into a kind and selfless human being.”She hugged me with one arm and the movement woke Dylan from his nap.I took him as he started to fuss so I could feed him but heard a hushed conversation as I walked away and I sat on the stairs, feeding my baby while I listened to them talk.
“She has been incredibly grief stricken the last few months and I didn’t know how to help her.But I think this visit with the both of you has really pulled her out of the dark, so thank you.”Dad said.
“This is an impossible situation.”Mr.Combs responded, “I couldn’t even begin to imagine what she’s going through right now.Trying to navigate the ins and outs of a newborn and struggling with the loss of a big love.”
“Here’s the thing though,” Dad’s confused voice came a little quieter.“I had no idea this thing with her and Lee was so serious.I mean I knew they had something, but I only saw the long-distance paper trail; I never saw them together.I was in the dark on it until she came home completely broken.”
It’s true, I never really told him too much over the years.It's not really something you talk about with your dad as a teenage girl.
“Oh, if only you could have seen them together this past summer.”Mrs.Combs was smiling through her words, I could tell.“Those two were like magic; you could literally see the sparks fly when they looked at each other, when they talked about each other, when they were anywhere near each other.”
“We had the pleasure of having Ellie over for dinner several times during her visit and she just made our family complete.I think I knew before he did that, he was going to ask her to marry him one day.”Mr.Combs told Dad.
“He was going to propose?”Dad asked, shocked.
“He was planning on coming out here before he died.”There was a short silence, and I could hear heavy breathing before the next part came.“He knew he was in trouble.He took his plane ticket, all his cash and a diamond ring with him to hide out in the woods that night.He was supposed to wait until the morning until he could get to the airport for his flight.From there, he was planning on finding you all and asking for her hand and he was supposed to call us as soon as he was here.”Mr.Combs finished with a deep sigh that sent chills up my neck.
Lee was on his way here.He was going to propose to me?
I tried to stop myself from crying and I looked down at my baby boy who was fast asleep and completely milk drunk, and I laughed.I laughedand I hiccupped, and I laughed so hard that these three amazing adults came running over to the stairs thinking something was wrong, only to find me hysterical.
This was the moment when I decided that I needed to grow up, pull myself together and be the best mother I could possibly be.
* * *
I walked across the stage with the rest of my senior class in June and closed the chapter on my childhood.I got a job, and I lived at home, saving up my money until Dylan and I could afford a house of our own and I worked on building a life that was only half of what Lee and I dreamed of.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
LEE
14 years earlier
I spent six months in security forces when a spot opened up in the flight school.I had an opportunity to join, and I took it, I chased my way up the chain and after nearly three years of training, I was a full-fledged pilot in the United States Air Force, and I was assigned to Eglin AFB in Florida; a far cry from the nineteen-year-old boy I was back in California.
From my post in Florida, I began to let my guard slip when I ran into a familiar face at a local bar on the anniversary of the night I met Ellie: my birthday, but notmybirthday.I came in here to drown my memories of her, and I tried to walk away but he had already recognized me, and I wasn’t sure how to turn my back on my best friend.
“Lee?”Dane called from across the bar as he walked over to me.“Is that you, man?”He was drunk, shit-faced, actually.“I’m dreaming, aren’t I?Man, you have haunted me foryears.”He sat down at the bar, and I sat next to him, not saying anything, just looking at him.I missed my best friend and it never hit me how much I missed him until right now.“Can you talk in dreams or is this like an in-between world.Shit, am I dead?”he looked around and I just had to laugh.
“You’re not dead, Dane.I’m here, it’s me.”I probably shouldn’t be saying this out loud.But I could really use a friend and what better friend to get me through tonight than the guy who’s known me since I was eight.“Hey, buddy, why don’t you walk with me?You shouldn’t be drinking anymore anyways.”
I walked Dane back to my apartment; I lived off base, just under a mile from the bar, and was just starting to furnish it so there wasn’t much in the living room other than a sofa and a TV sitting on a coffee table that was being used as a TV stand.I had to hold him up as he staggered up the two flights of stairs and into my apartment.I sat him down on the couch and went to fill up a cup of ice water for him.We sat on the couch, not saying anything for several minutes and then he broke the silence.
“How are you here?”he asked, looking at me.I took a deep breath and let it out slowly before starting my explanation as to how I’m not dead.
“Before I say anything, Dane, you have to swear to me that none of this leaves this room.”He blinked.“I mean it, man, swear.”I said.
“Okay, I swear.”He says and leans his head back on the sofa.
I went through it all; told him everything from the man in the hoodie, to the campfire, the CIA guys and my new false name and finished with telling him about my new career in the Air Force which is what led me here.“This is real life, Dane.There would be serious consequences if any of this got out, youhaveto promise me that you won’t tell anyone you saw me.”
“I won’t tell anyone… except Liz, can I tell Liz?I tell her everything and…”
“NO!”I cut him off.“Not even Liz.”I looked him dead in the eyes and he raised his eyebrow at me then nodded.“You mean to tell me, you’re still with the same girl from high school?”I asked him, laughing.
“That I am.”He sighed.“The one and only; she had me hooked, what can I say.Actually, after you died, I got an off-campus apartment, and she moved in with me.We moved here just after I graduated.I took a job with a start-up aircraft engineering company and I’m a project manager.We got done with a meeting late, and the team and I met up at the bar for a drink before heading home.But one beer turned into six and I was waiting it out so I wouldn’t get home trashed.Liz hates it when I drink.”He rested the empty glass of water on the arm of the couch and got up to use the restroom.I pointed him in the direction of my small bathroom and got up to put the glass in the sink.
“I can’t believe it’s really you, Lee.There are so many things I want to tell you.Will you be in the area for a while?Can I stop by for a drink every now and then?I mean, as long as no one knows?”Dane was leaning against the kitchen counter, his hands shoved in his pockets.
