“Oh my God, Dad, what?What is it?Is something wrong with the baby?”I asked, freaking out.
“No, sweetie, it’s not the baby.”He took a deep breath; he looked like he was going to cry.He turned away from me and let his breath out, preparing for what was to come out next, “It’s Lee.”
“What’s Lee?What happened, Daddy?”I squeezed his hand.
“He’s gone, baby.Lee’s gone.”
The world stopped.
The room went silent.
All I could hear were the monitors beeping and the sound of my own heartbeatwomp, womp, womp, skip, womp, womp.
Dad was still talking and his voice started to fade in and out, “There was a fire”…“plane ticket”…”a body”.Then everything went black.
I woke up and I felt numb.There were nurses rushing about the room and there was beeping,lotsof beeping.
“She’s awake, she’s alert.”One of the nurses had said.
“We have to get this baby out, stat.”came another voice.
“Ellie?”This one was my doctor.“Ellie, the baby’s heartrate has dropped significantly, we have to get the baby out now.We’re taking you to the OR for an emergency cesarian delivery because you are not fully dilated, and we can’t wait, or we risk losing one or both of you.Do you understand?”I nod my head; the tears are streaming.
I can’t lose this baby, it’s all that I have left of him.
Chapter Twenty-Five
LEE
17 years earlier
When I was dropped off at a hotel in Shreveport, Louisiana, the driver of the car that took me halfway across the country but hadn’t spoken a single word to me, handed me a note.It outlines the next steps to my new life, beginning with checking into the hotel and casino that I’m looking up at in the muggy heat of the deep south.I walked up to the counter in a velvet curtain lined lobby and began to give the lady my name, only I had to correct myself when I started to say my old last name.
Yeah, this was going to take some getting used to and I better start practicing.
The room they gave me was pretty luxurious compared to what I was used to back home and I laid on the bed, stretching my arms and legs out and wondering where I would be right now if those three men hadn’t found me in the woods.I fell asleep, exhausted, and too tired to shower or change out of my clothes.How long had I been asleep for?What time is it?What is that noise?
The phone was ringing, and I shot up.I grabbed the receiver from the side table and wiped my hand down my face, “H-Hello?”
“Mr.McCormick, good morning, front desk here.I have a visitor requesting that you meet him in the lobby, sir.”I thanked the lady and told her I would be right down.
I ran to the bathroom, brushed my teeth with my finger and the sample sized toothpaste the hotel provided and splashed my face and hair in the sink.I dried my hair with the hand towel and tossed it on the counter as I walked out the door and into the lobby, still wearing the same clothes I slept in.
The man I was meeting must have recognized me because he was walking toward me with his hand outstretched.I shook it and asked him who he was, taking in his flight suit and United States Air Force patches.His name was Lieutenant Colonel Pierce Walker, and he was also working undercover for the CIA, specializing in uncovering corrupt military operations.He was going to take me to the Air Force Base where I would begin my military career, as penance for my involvement in the dirty jobs.
I followed him to his car, and he filled me in on some important details.The CIA not only gave me a new identity, but they also forged records to show that I had completed Basic Military Training in Texas before being sent on my first assignment here in Louisiana.All the necessary paperwork had been completed, granting me a low-level security clearance, enough to get me on base and on a solid foundation.From today on, the rest would be up to me – I could determine how hard I wanted to work at building this new life and what I wanted to make of the next twenty years.
The first few weeks were extremely grueling, and I found myself wondering how these guys do this every day.I went to bed sore and bruised from the daily training in the Air Force base security department.We were training to keep anyone out that wasn’t supposed to be within the gates, protect all equipment and learning how to step in when an unruly airman acted out of bounds.I’m not sure this is where I want to be for the rest of my career, but it was a good start and a big step up from the likes of my old construction job.
Every night, I lay in my bunk, thinking about Ellie and where she might be right at that moment.I always say goodnight to her before closing my eyes and I wake every morning with dreams of her fresh in my memory.I keep a leather-bound notebook in my pillowcase, and I write her a letter once a week.I never tear the completed pages out because these are letters that will never get to be mailed.Ellie thinks I’m dead, my family thinks I’m dead, and I can’t let these letters get out and ruin any chance I have of getting out of here when my time is up.I just hope that when that time comes, I’m not too late to begin the life I always dreamed of with Ellie.
Sometimes I write full letters, telling her what I did that week and other times, like today, I write lyrics; bits and pieces of an unfinished song that I hum in my head; it’s something I started back when I met her.Every time I think of her, the creative side of me comes out.I always thought this was a sign of how she was making me a better person, helping me to earn the right to stand beside her, because no one else could make me rhyme like this.
Because every time I see your face, I’m drowning in this peaceful place.
At the back of mind where only you exist
In my dreams, in the dark, in my loneliness
