We ate and then went shopping, reminiscing about our mall days with my friends back home.We took turns trying on outfits from 5-7-9 and Wet Seal, stepping out of the dressing room so we could comment on how the look came together and whether it was a hit or a miss.I even helped her pick out a dress for the date she was planning to go on tomorrow with the water park guy.
On our way out of the mall, we spotted a tattoo parlor in a corner shop.The two of us shared a glance and an equally excited “Hell Yes!”before walking straight into the shop and asking if they had time for walk-ins.Luckily, the shop owner didn’t really care that I was under eighteen; he just asked if we would both sign release forms.After a quick chat, we decided to get matching script inked on our wrists:Ma Soeur Dame.We admired the tattoos,linking arms and walked toward the parking lot so we could head to Lee’s house with a few arms full of shopping bags.
When we got to the Combs residence later that evening, I was exhausted and sweaty from the heat.But there was nothing better than Lee rushing to meet us at the door.He was so adorable, telling me how he missed me today, and wanted to show me something upstairs.Only, there was nothing upstairs but the promise of amazing sex and my first ever orgasm, followed quickly by the second.
I already thought sex was great.
But he showed me sex could be greater.
* * *
Quickly, the day turned into my last night here and Steff and Lee planned a big going away party as my send off.They invited all their friends, some new ones that I met while I was here, and our cousins.The place was booming.The music was blasting, and I was having a great time dancing and moving from group to group throughout the whole apartment.
I was standing in the kitchen, talking with Ezra and he was telling me all about this time when they were twelve and he dared Lee to steal a pack of gum from the 711 on the corner of his street.Lee felt so guilty about it that he walked right back into the store and handed it to the cashier, telling him he was sorry.The cashier wanted to punish him, hoping that he wouldn’t ever want to steal again so he made him stand outside for the rest of his shift, holding a sign that said, “ASK ME ABOUT MY STICKY SITUATION”.
I was laughing as I pictured a younger version of Lee holding that sign, looking miserable outside the store, when I noticed him out of the corner of my eye.He was making a beeline for the front door, and I watched as he stepped outside and closed the door quickly.I walked over, and peeked out the window by the patio, curious to see if I could figure out who was with him and what made him rush to get out there.
Just as I was able to get a look, the front door burst open and Maggie’s best friend, Liz, walked in.She left the door wide open as she looked around and made her way to Dane, not noticing me standing there.I stood in the open doorway and made eye contact with Maggie who had just grabbed Lee’s hand and placed it on her belly.
I’m going to be sick.
I listened as I heard her tell him he was going to be a dad and something about them kissing at the mall, and then I didn’t want to listen anymore.I ran to the bathroom, holding back my tears until I slammed the door shut.
Lee was there in an instant, banging on the door, begging me to open it.He wanted me to let him explain.I didn’t want an explanation of how she wound up with his baby growing inside her and why he was making out with her at the mall the other day.Oh, God, he was kissing her when he said he was with his friends.He fucking lied to me.I leaned over the toilet, retching into the bowl and felt my heart break into a million pieces.
I needed to get out of here.
I needed some air.
I can’t breathe.
The phone … I remembered that Steff kept it in the hallway, right outside the door.I listened outside the door, checking to see if Lee was still standing there first and then opened the door, quickly grabbing the phone and shut myself back in the bathroom.I dialed411, asking for a local taxi company.When I was connected, I gave them the address and they told me that the driver would be here in five minutes.I looked at the clock on the wall of the bathroom and watched the seconds tick by.As soon as I was sure five minutes had passed, I opened the door and made a run for the exit, grabbing my purse off the hook in the hallway and dashing through the crowded apartment until I was outside.
I inhaled deeply, trying to catch my breath and felt the tears streaming down my face again.There was the taxi.I opened the door and was about to step in when I heard him; he called out my name, begging me to stop and he was getting closer.But I couldn’t – I just couldn’t bear to say goodbye, not like this.It was better if I just left.I climbed into the taxi and screamed at the driver to go.He slammed on the gas, tires screeching in the parking lot as we left.
I watched as he fell to the ground, on his knees with his hands wrapped behind his head, fingers clawing at his hair as my taxi drove away from the curb where I left him; left him there without giving him a chance to give me any details.
I didn’t want details.I didn’t want to know why or how this happened, it hurt enough just knowing that it did happen.
My stomach clenches as the driver swerves to dodge a pothole in the road and I lean my forehead against the window, feeling the coolness chill the heat that rose to my face just moments earlier when I found out that the love of my life was going to be a father, and I wasn’t going to be the mother.
I know that if I had stayed, he would have chosen me and loved me still, but I would have had to share that love with someone else and his childOh God, his child.I couldn’t be the one to be in the middle of them.I know all too well what it’s like to live with only one parent and wish beyond wishes that they could both be there with me every day, and I wasn’t going to be the one to take that away from this innocent child who didn’t have a choice in who his parents were.
I found myself stopping the driver at a corner restaurant about thirty minutes from Steff’s place and giving him enough cash to cover the fare before stepping out of the taxi and looking around for somewhere to drown my misery for the next several hours before it becomes tomorrow.Tomorrow, I can get on my flight and get back home and just forget about Lee Combs, forget about the plans we made for our future and forget about the most amazing and the most painful summer of my life.
I walked in and sat at the bar.I asked for aShirley Templewith an extra cherry.The bartender looked at me and started to say something –probably that I’m not allowed to sit at the bar without an adult– but decided against it when he looked at my face and noticed my swollen, bloodshot eyes.So, he brought me my drink and set it down in front of me with a soft smile before he went on wiping the tables down behind me.He let me sit there for a while since no one else was at the counter; heck the entire restaurant was empty and when the crowds started pouring in thirty minutes later, I don’t think he noticed me anymore.
That was good, I slinked down in my chair, and I planned on staking my claim on this barstool for the rest of the night.Or at least until they closed and kicked all the drunks out.I was nursing my secondShirley Templewhen a guy walked by and tapped my shoulder.I had been sitting here for about two and a half hours and no one had said anything to me until now.
“I’m sorry, I saw you over here alone and I just had to come over and say hi.”He sits down in the empty seat next to me and waves the bartender over.“You look like the kind of girl I need to know.”
“I’m not, trust me.”I say to him without looking up and took another sip of my mocktail.
“Ouch, that hurt.”He clears his throat but doesn’t get up to leave.“Well, um, I’m Freddie ...Freddie Donovan.”When I don’t respond, he takes his hat off and rakes a hand through his ash brown hair and asks, “Can I … uh … at least buy you a drink?”
I look at him, wondering if he realizes I’m not twenty one, and then decide that I don’t care.“You know what, sure.”That makes him sit up taller and his smile returns.
“Okay!What’ll you have?”he asks, getting more comfortable on the barstool.
