“Okay.Not a breakfromme, but a nightwithyour friends, just the guys.I love you.”I kiss him, bringing his bottom lip between mine and releasing him with another nudge toward the parking lot where Dane and Ezra are watching from their car windows and making kissing faces like little kids.
Steff is working late tonight and has a ride home from a co-worker and I have the place to myself.I haven’t been alone in this apartment since I arrived and it’s kind of nice – quiet – but nice.I collected my dirty laundry and threw the clothes in the washer, because despite packing almost everything I own, I was about to run out of clean panties.As I was turning the washer on, I felt a gurgle in my stomach and ran to the bathroom to throw up.
I must have eaten something bad at lunch todayI tell myself and I look at my reflection in the mirror while I rinse the vomit taste from my mouth.
Afterwards, I took myself out to the living room, sat on the couch and pulled out the book that I brought which hasn’t been cracked open since I got here.I read the first couple of pages and stopped, putting the book down when I felt that all too familiar feeling of my period starting.I grabbed my box of tampons and ran to the bathroom, pulling down my panties, expecting to see blood in them, but there was nothing.Weird.I sat back down on the couch and looked at the box of tampons, still unopened.
Have I not had a period since I’ve been here?
I got back up and walked over to the kitchen, grabbing the calendar off the fridge and counted back the days to the last time I remember having a period.May 15th?No, that can’t be right,I thought.But it was.I remember that I had my period just before I left for this trip, and I bought a brand new box of tampons to take with me.That box of tampons is still unopened.Oh.My.God.No!This is just a fluke.I was arguing with myself, but after considering the possibility, I was convinced that my cycle had just been thrown off because of the abrupt change in my routine since I’ve been here.That’s not out of the ordinary, it used to happen all the time when I was making myself throw up.
Later that night, I ran to the bathroom again and was relieved to see some spotting when I wiped.I said a prayer and thanked God for the blood and went to bed, never having felt this happy for a period in my entire life.
* * *
We went to a water park with Steff, the guys and Lee’s parents the following weekend and picnic’d on the grass with egg salad sandwiches and chips that Mrs.Combs had made for everyone.I daydreamed with his hand in mine while we floated side by side along the lazy river in our inflatable tubes and his mom captured some pictures of us when we weren’t looking with her disposable camera.
“He’s absolutely smitten with you, Ellie.”His mom smiled at me when I came over to sit next to her in the shade of the oak tree where she was reading.“I’ve never seen him so happy and excited for the future.”
“I’m pretty smitten with him, too.”I tell her.“I can’t imagine leaving next week.”She nodded, knowingly and added in a hush, leaning closer to me, “Between you and me, I don’t think it’ll be a long break this time.”
“What do you mean?”I asked, turning to face her.
“Just that you might be surprised with what all he has planned for since you’ve been here.You’re a big part of his life and I don’t think he wants to leave this as a summer memory.”She patted my arm and went back to her book.I thought about her words and smiled to myself, wondering what plans Lee had come up with that he would have shared with his mom.
I was completely unaware that there was a commotion on the other side of the water park until Dane escorted his girlfriend to the parking lot with none other than Maggie following behind shortly after.Lee came over and dropped down to the ground next to us, his arms folded around his knees.He explained to me that the girls found out we would be here, and Maggie was trying to convince him to take her back again.He apologized but told me not to worry; he told her it wasn’t going to happen, and he asked Dane to take them home.
After the argument, Lee was drained, and I could tell he was not having fun anymore.He just wanted to go home, and I didn’t blame him.We all agreed that it was a good time to call it a day and pack up our picnic.We grabbed some drive through on the way home and had dinner at the apartment later that evening.We had had enough excitement for the day and didn’t feel the need to go out, but Steff had met someone at the water park and left us for a late night date.
We showered and tossed our wet clothes and towels into the wash so they would be clean the next time we went to the pool.Lee was being abnormally quiet during our nightly routine of cleaning the dishes and making our bed in the living room and I couldn’t help but feel like something else was wrong.
“Is everything alright?”I asked him when we were lying in bed, curled up together that night.
“Yeah.Why wouldn’t it be?”he asked, still gazing out the window.
“You’ve just been quiet since we left the water park is all.I know you told me about the Maggie thing, I just wanted to make sure there wasn’t anything else bothering you that you didn’t mention.”
“No.It just got to me.I hate that she’s making me so upset; I don’t want it to ruin our time together, I’m sorry, babe.”He pulled me closer to him and wrapped the blankets around us.“I was trying so hard not to be mean and say anything that would hurt her, but she was almostforcingme to be mean to her.I told you I’m not a good person.”
“You’re not a bad person, Lee.You’re just a very loveable person and she doesn’t want to let you go.I can’t say that I blame her; I wouldn’t want to let you go either.”
He kissed my forehead and rested his chin on top of my head, bringing me in close.There was no response needed to make me feel that we were on the same page.We drifted off to sleep and I relaxed into the crook of his arm, watching as his eyes flickered closed in peaceful rest.I found comfort in the steady rhythm of his heartbeat against my cheek, his warmth enveloping me, washing away my concerns from earlier.The gentle touch of his fingers tracing patterns on my back as he drifted further into sleep spoke volumes without the necessity of words.
* * *
The next morning, Steff asked if I would be up for a day of put-put and boardwalk shopping, and I jumped at the opportunity to have a day alone with her; we hadn’t had many over the summer and it was almost time for me to leave.So, Lee told me he was good with spending a day with his friends while I hung out with her and had some girl time.He kissed me on the cheek and said he couldn’t wait to see me later as he left us after breakfast.
Steff and I cleaned up breakfast and got dressed, getting ready together in the bathroom mirror like we used to do back when we shared a bedroom.
We went golfing by the beach and pretended we were tourists with our big floppy hats and sunglasses.I won, hitting two hole-in-ones and granting me the lunch pick for the day.I chose Don Pablos, telling Steff that I was craving a bowl of queso with some salty tortilla chips.She looked at me sideways and asked, “Is there something you want to tell me, Ell?”
“What do you mean?”I asked.“Like that I’m hungry?”
“Maybe like, why are youcravingqueso?”
“I think I’m getting my period.I’ve felt it coming for the last week and had some spotting the other day.”I told her, scrunching up my nose at the thought.
“Ugh, that’s the worst.”She said, holding the door open for me.“Salty tortilla chips for the PMS win!”
