Elaine said nothing as she turned away, needing the distance before she let herself make a terrible decision.
***
As the first light of dawn filtered through the window the next morning, Elaine sat quietly at her father’s bedside, her embroidery lying in her lap, the needle poised but forgotten. The soft rhythm of his laboured breathing filled the room, a sound that had once filled Elaine with trepidation. Now, she felt relieved that her father was still breathing at all, considering his condition.
She couldn’t shake the memory of her time with the Duke of Ryewood during the musicale—the way he had looked at her, the weight of their shared conversation, the tense moment wondering if he might kiss her at last.
A deep conflict swirled within her. She liked him. Far more than she should have, with all things considered. And her growing feelings for him tangled with her sense of duty to secure her family’s future. She needed to find a suitable husband to help her family. Yet the thought of merely fulfilling that expectation felt like a suffocating weight on her chest.
Her father stirred slightly, his eyes opening to meet hers. “Elaine,” he murmured, his voice thick with undisturbed mucus. “What weighs so heavily upon your heart, my dear? You look far away.”
Elaine hesitated, the words caught in her throat. How could she voice the turmoil that had been brewing within her? But there was something in her father’s gaze thatcompelled her to speak. “I... I’m torn, Father. I find myself drawn to someone, yet I know I must focus on my responsibilities. I cannot bring myself to forsake my duty.”
His expression shifted, a flicker of guilt crossing his features. “Your duty to this family?”
She nodded slowly, feeling a knot tighten in her stomach. “Yes, but it is fine, Papa. I know what I must do.”
“That is to put your duty before your heart?” he croaked, eyelids fluttering in the hazy lighting.
Elaine refocused her attention on her embroidery with renewed vigour, already regretting saying anything about it. The last thing she wanted was to upset him with her issues, especially this early in the morning.
“I should not have said anything, I did not mean to burden you with my troubles,” she murmured. “Would you like your breakfast now?”
Edward sighed and despite how low it was, it seemed to shake the room. It certainly shook Elaine to her core. “I should never have made you feel like you cannot make this decision for yourself,” he rasped, frowning as if every word he spoke was too painful. “I thought I was protecting you, but I see now how it has weighed upon you.”
Tears were already pricking her eyes. “I don’t wish to disappoint you, Father. I want to do what’s best for our family.”
“And yet,” he said softly, “what is best for you matters as well. You have every right to pursue your own happiness, to choose for yourself.”
The sincerity in his voice brought tears to her eyes. “Could it really be that simple, Papa?”
“Nothing is ever as simple as you think it is,” he replied, his voice thick with emotion. “I only want you to be happy, regardless of what that looks like. The last thing I want is to be a burden to you. And I do not think Simon would like that either.”
Elaine abandoned her embroidery to grasp his fragile hand. “You are not a burden, Papa! Don’t ever say something like that again.”
“My poor girl.” His eyelids seemed to be having a difficult time staying open. “You know so little.
Elaine watched him fight sleep for a few more seconds but his loss was imminent. Before long, he had slipped away once more, leaving her heart swollen with a mix of hope and fear. She’d received her father’s blessing but he knew so little about their situation. She was their family’s only hope. Would it make sense for her to rest all her desires on a gentleman who has not stated any intention of courting her when there were others who may be exactly what she needed?
“Thank you, Papa,” she murmured, leaning forward to kiss him on the temple.
“Your words mean everything to me.”
Chapter Fourteen
Morning came with nothing but exhaustion and a heavy mind. Michael stared at his untouched plate, fork clinking against the plate. At this rate, he was beginning to realise that Elaine had infiltrated every corner of his mind. The memory of her radiant smile lingered in his thoughts, her soft, expressive eyes dancing in the shadows of his restless sleep.
And he had nearly kissed her.
It was a slip of his mind, he knew. He’d lost himself to his basic desires when he found himself alone with her during the musicale last night. And yet, despite convincing himself that it was simply his male instincts taking over, he couldn’t believe that he had almost let it come in the way of his plan. He thought himself stronger than that.
But then, he hadn’t expected Elaine to be quite like how she was.
Beautiful, mesmerising, innocent, intoxicating. Last night, Michael hadn’t approached her because he needed to complete his plan. He did so because he wanted nothing more than to share her company again after so long apart.
Clarissa’s voice broke through the fog of his thoughts. “Michael, will you continue to involve Lady Elaine in your plan for revenge?”
The question hung in the air, heavy with implication. “Yes,” he said, his voice steady, though unease coiled in his gut. Elaine was key to his strategy. He had made that clear. Without her, the past four years he had spent gathering information would be for nothing. The very thing that drove him all this time would be for nothing. He couldn’t very well give up on his quest simplybecause he was growing fonder of Elaine than he thought he would.
