Michael ignored the twinge of guilt he felt at that.
Clarissa set her teacup down with a decisive clink, her expression shifting from concern to irritation. “Why must you be so stubborn?”
“I could ask you the same thing, seeing as I told you to leave this matter be.”
“I cannot. I like Lady Elaine and this plan of yours is bound to have a greater effect on others than you first thought.”
The heat in her voice gave him pause. Michael frowned at his sister. “What are you implying?”
Clarissa’s cheeks coloured but she maintained her frustrated frown. “You must see, Michael, that this game you are playing may have consequences beyond your imagination. It could very well affect my chances with Lord Abney.” Her voice softened as if revealing a delicate secret. “I am beginning to like him.”
For a moment, Michael was taken aback. Like him? The family of the enemy? Was she insane? “When did this happen?”
“It does not matter, does it?” she pressed. “What matters is that I have grown quite fond of his company and it is my hope that he shares my feelings.
“And what of my plans? You cannot expect me to abandon them simply because you are flirting with the idea of a match.”
“It is not just flirting!” Clarissa shot back, her cheeks flushed with indignation. “Lord Abney is a good man, and I would not have my reputation sullied by your reckless intentions. If you persist, the fallout could be disastrous for both of us.”
He leaned back, crossing his arms, the tension radiating from her evident in the way she leaned forward. “And if I do not pursue this course, then what? I simply allow the injustices of society to continue? I cannot stand idly by while those who wronged us go unpunished.”
Clarissa’s eyes burned with intensity, her voice dropping to a whisper that sent a shiver through him. “But at what cost, Michael? The last thing I want is for you to risk losing everything in this insane quest of yours. Surely you do not wish to sacrifice the family you have left for a fleeting sense of vindication?”
Michael turned to the window, staring listlessly into the grass of the garden outside. Her words struck something in him, a flicker of doubt starting to take root. He hadn’t doubted himself from the moment his father was wrongfully convicted. Michael knew that he had to do whatever it took to set things straight.
But now, he wasn’t so sure. Now he wondered if he might only be making things worse, if he may be taking two steps backwards rather than moving on.
He desperately clung to his conviction, still feeling Clarissa’s eyes on him. “You do not understand, Clarissa. It is not merely revenge. It is about reclaiming my dignity, my—”
“Your humanity?” she interrupted, her tone softer yet unyielding. She reached forward to grasp his hand. “This is not the Michael I once knew. My older brother would never let himself be at risk of being consumed by shadows. And I know that is not who you truly want to be.”
Her plea echoed in his mind, and for a fleeting moment, he envisioned a future unfettered by vengeance. A future where he could let go of the pain that had fueled him for so long. But Michael let the thought be quickly swallowed by the anger that had become a part of him.
“What do you propose, then?” he asked, frustration lacing his words.
“Let go of this vendetta, Michael,” Clarissa pleaded. “Allow yourself to focus on all youdohave, rather than what you have lost. And you should allow yourself to truly give in to your feelings for Lady Elaine.”
“I feel nothing for her. She is a means to an end.”
“You are lying to yourself. I watched you last night and the man I saw was not focused on vengeance. I cannot recall the last time you had smiled with such abandonment.”
“That was the point, Clarissa. I was putting on an act, trying to get Lady Elaine to relax so that I may infiltrate her memories.”
Clarissa shook her head sadly. “I wish you could see what I do.”
Her words lingered in the air. He could not abandon his quest. Not now. Not when he had gotten so close to its conclusion. Not when he could finally lay to rest the incessant anger that simmered deep within him.
“And if I cannot let it go, Clarissa? What if I still wish to pursue my course?”
Clarissa sighed. “Then I hope you know that you may be doing so at a grave cost. A cost you may not be so willing to pay. For the both of us.”
Silence met her last words. Michael felt the weight of her eyes on him but he ignored her, far too many uncharted emotions washing over him at once. He was torn and he hated it. He hated that Clarissa had watered the seed of doubt in his mind. He hated that he may not be able to give his father the justice he deserved and bring the wrongdoers the justice they did as well.
And he hated that, throughout it all, he thought of Elaine and how his quest for revenge may ruin what little balance she had left in her life.
***
Later that morning, Elaine made her way through the sunlit drawing room, her mind clouded with lingering thoughts of the duke. She held her father by his elbow as he guided him towards his spot by the window, hating the way he winced in pain withevery step. Once he settled into the chair, giving her that pitiful look she was growing to dislike, she draped a shawl over his shoulders. She wouldn’t ask him what was wrong any more. Edward always gave her more questions than answers when she did.
