Nathanial opened his mouth to state that he had no intention of catching the attention of a young lady, only to see the glint in his brother’s eyes and choosing instead to say nothing whatsoever. He was not interested in any young lady, he told himself. There was no young lady which caught his attention in the least.
Something stabbed his heart and Nathanial caught his breath before coughing lightly so that his brother would not see it. Lady Amelia had come back to his mind, just at the very time he had told himself there was no young lady of interest within London. Why wasshepresent in his mind? There could be nothing there for him to give attention to, surely? Lady Amelia had irritated him somewhat at the ball, given that she had a clear expectation for him to speak and converse with her during the ball while he himself had every desire simply to dance and remain silent.Andshe had the audacity to call him rude! Why ever wouldshebe lingering in his thoughts? No doubt, Nathanial told himself as he rose from his chair, it was because shehadbeen so very rude to him that he now found himself thinking of her.
“What is it that troubles you?”
“Troubles me?” Nathanial turned from where he now stood at the window, looking back at his brother. “Nothing weighs on me, brother. I was merely looking out and seeing what the day is like.”
“The day is fine,” came the reply. “Are you to join us for the fashionable hour?”
Nathanial’s lips puckered. “The fashionable hour does not interest me.”
“Why ever not?” William chuckled, clearly not in the least bit surprised at Nathanial’s refusal. “It is an opportunity to see others and tobeseen.”
“And what if I have no wish to be seen?”
There came from William a heavy sigh which had Nathanial turning quickly. William had passed one hand over his eyes and was shaking his head and Nathanial’s stomach tightened a little.
“What is it, brother?” His heart clattered in his chest. “Are you in pain? Is there something I can do for you?”
“I am not in any pain.” William looked up at Nathanial again, his hand dropping to his side. “Brother, why are you in London?”
Nathanial blinked, his concern fading. “What do you mean?”
“Why are you in London?” came the question again. “Why did you come to London for the Season? It is not as though you have shown any real interest in being here, for while you danced a few dances last evening, you do not seem to be at all interested in the ladies you stepped out with. You have a disdain, almost, for the fashionable hour and for the thought of being seen by others. If you are not in London to catch the attention of a young lady, if you have no desire to partake in society with any enjoyment, then why are you here? Would you not be happier back at your estate?”
For some moments, Nathanial could not find an answer. Instead, he looked away and folded his arms across his chest,his forehead puckering as he frowned. What was he to say to this? That when he had heard that Lady Amelia was to come to London and that their mother hoped to introduce William to her, Nathanial had found himself inexplicably drawn to the idea of coming to London? Even he himself could not truly understand why he had done such a thing as that! He had told himself he had been eager to see William – and that in itself was true – but there was also a desire to be where Lady Amelia was… mayhap to make sure that she did not speak of what had occurred between them the night they had met in the hallway.
“I – I wanted to spend time with my brother.” It was the only answer he could give, an answer which his brother smiled at though there was still a flicker of uncertainty in his eyes.
“That is very good of you but you know I am to come back to the estate within a month or two. Could you truly not wait to see me?”
Nathanial closed his eyes and let out a slow breath. “I wished to come to London, that is all. There was no particular reason, though Ididwish to be in your company again as I have said. After all, it has been some time since I have been in London – ”
“Ah, there you both are!”
Nathanial was saved from having to make any further explanations by his mother who came sailing into the drawing room with some letters clutched in her hands. Her eyes were bright, her expression warm and she beamed at Nathanial as though he had done something quite wonderful.
“Good morning, Mother.” Nathanial smiled briefly. “You appear to be rather… enthusiastic this morning.”
“And why should I not be when we have received multiple invitations?” Lady Ashbourne exclaimed, waving the letters in Nathanial’s direction. “It seems as though thetonis delighted at your presence, Ashbourne, as well as yours also.” Turning toWilliam, she beamed at him. “How glad I am to know that both of my sons have made such an impression upon theton!”
“And my title has nothing whatsoever to do with that,” Nathanial replied, wryly. “Mother, I am well aware of what society must be thinking about my presence here and that is the reason we have been invited to so many things.”
Lady Ashbourne’s smile faded a little. “I do not know what you mean.”
Nathanial threw up his hands. “Thetonthink that, ah, the ‘Beastly Duke’ is in London, he must have come to find himself a bride! Though all of them have no intention of pushing their daughters to the fore nor their sisters either, for my reputation is so very dark that even those who do not care much for their children or siblings would consider doing such a thing as that! I am a spectacle, something to be viewed with suspicion and yet with morbid interest. My attendance at any such event will have more interest, more gossip and more whispers thereafter and thus, the hosts will garner a little more renown, will they not?”
Catching the way his brother frowned and waved one hand lightly in his direction, Nathanial came to a stop, seeing his mother’s color fading slightly. Lady Ashbourne had closed her eyes and, her hand clenching into tight fists, drew in a long breath and lifted her chin just a little.
Then, she opened her eyes.
“You bring this reputation upon yourself, Ashbourne.”
The stinging, sharpness of her words made Nathanial frown, his heart squeezing.
“You donothingwhatsoever to bring any sort of relief to this darkness,” she continued, coming closer to him, one hand lifting, one finger pointing to his chest. “You seem to revel in it! I watched you last evening. I watched how you danced both with Lady Charlotte and Lady Amelia and how you passed very little conversation with either of them. There is no desire withinyou to be at all amiable! You are almost glad to have this dark reputation, are you not? You wrap it about your shoulders so that it clings to you and so that other people cannot come near you. Your brother is quite the opposite and thetonare glad to have him in society!”
Nathanial winced. “Mother, I would beg of you not to compare me to my brother.”
