William’s smile faded, his eyebrows lifting. “Brother, this was many years ago! Why would you let such a thing trouble you now?”
“Because… because I see the evidence of my foolishness and my neglect,” Nathanial replied, turning his head away so that he would not have to look into his brother’s eyes. “I wish it were not so.”
There came then a small, short silence and Nathanial could barely glance at his brother, his guilt overwhelming him to the point that he fought to keep his heart steady.
“Ashbourne.” William’s voice had dropped a little lower, a heaviness there which had not been present before. “I do not hold this against you so why must you continually hold this pain against your heart? It was not just you who was foolish in that situation. I also was ridiculous in my actions.”
“You were but a child!”
“As were you,” William put in, quickly. “Come now, brother, do not hold any sort of guilt next to your heart for I certainly do not!”
“I do not see how you cannot.”
William spread his hands out. “Because I was young and foolish and you were young and foolish. I am grateful for my life, Ashbourne. There is nothing about this life that troubles me for I know full well that I might not havehadthis life, had things been different! My leg aches a little and yes, I limp on occasion but that does not mean that it causes me any great difficulty. Do not let this trouble you, Ashbourne, I beg you. Not any longer.”
Nathanial took in a deep breath, a little surprised at how his skin prickled at his brother’s words. He waited to see if the guilt would fade from him but though it lessened a little, it still lingered, clinging to him with greater strength. “You say you danced with many a young lady last evening?” he asked, changing the subject completely. “But you thought Lady Charlotte and Lady Amelia the most delightful?”
“I did not say delightful but yes, I suppose that they are.”
“You are aware that the eldest is already engaged?”
“Yes, to Lord Stirling. I am already acquainted with that gentleman, actually.” William grinned. “He is an excellent fellow, though I should not like to live in Scotland!”
Nathanial chuckled. “It seems that Lady Charlotte does not care about such things, given that she has agreed to marry him.”
“Though Lady Amelia is not engaged?”
Nathanial shook his head, aware of the streak which ran straight up his spine – though he did not permit it to flare in his heart as it wished to do.
“She told me that I was a good deal more conversational that you, however.” William tilted his head as Nathanial shot him a quick look. “You did not speak with her during the dance?”
“Speak?” Nathanial shook his head. “No, I did not. Why ever should I do so? Dancing is not the time for conversation.”
“Of course it is!” William threw up his hands. “If there is time to converse during the dance then gentlemen ought to make most of such an opportunity. Why would they not?”
Nathanial sighed and waved one hand. “Because it is banal conversation which holds no interest for me. I have no desire to talk about the weather or family or whether or not I am enjoying the Season.”
“And what if the lady you dance with desires such a thing?”
Nathanial rolled his eyes. “Then I am afraid they will not be given what they are looking for, not from me.”
“And this is why your reputation will continue to be dark and displeasing.” With a sigh, William sank down into his chair. “Do you enjoy being known as ‘the Beastly Duke’?”
Nathanial’s jaw tightened. “I do not care for whispers and rumours either, brother.”
“It is not a rumour nor a whisper,” his brother contented. “Rather, it is a name which is stuck to you and you seem to be making no attempts to remove it from yourself.”
“And do you think that I could?”
William nodded quickly, a light flickering in his eyes. “Of course you could. Instead of appearing dark and despondent, you must appear bright and happy!”
Nathanial’s lip curled but his brother only laughed.
“That is not exactly the expression I was hoping to see upon your face, brother!”
“I am perfectly contented as I am,” Nathanial replied, keeping his expression just as it was. “I do not feel the need to change.”
“Are you certain?” William lifted an eyebrow. “How ever are you to get the attention of a young lady if you continue to be so disgruntled?”
