Rosa and Kim moved next to each other, like girls pairing up for school sports lessons. Relieved, I joined Melody.
Hester strode over. ‘Right, Kim, you’re working with Faith.’
‘Actually, I’m with Melody.’ I turned to show my choice of partner.
‘Do you think it would be easier to work with Melody, or Kim?’
‘Um, well, I know Melody better.’ I shrugged.
‘Precisely! Have you not understood the point of today? Are we here for a jolly up a mountain together? To have a lovely time with our friends?’
I scuffed my shoe against the rocky ground. ‘I guess not.’
Hester barked, ‘Why do you always look for the easiest option? How is that going to strengthen your spine and destroy your cowardice?’
‘I’m not a coward.’
Hester stared at me for a minute. ‘You are a survivor, Faith. I don’t suppose most things scare you – hardship, or trouble, being alone. But having to depend on someone else? Trust them with your life? Dare you do that?’
‘No offence to Kim, but I trust Melody. I know her better, and to be honest, I’m nervous about working with someone wearing gold wedge heels to rock climb.’
Kim bristled enough to pull her eyes off her phone. ‘They’re trainers! The letter said wear trainers. These cost sixty quid. I bought them special.’
‘Faith, if you are going to be in this choir, you have to start by getting to know your fellow altos,’ Hester said. ‘You need to love them, respect and depend on them. You need to know thatwhen you jump off a cliff, they will catch you. That when you open your mouth to sing the next note, they will be right there with you to the demisemiquaver. Unless you want to form a duo with Melody, you need to know Kim. And let her know you. Now! Enough time wasted on me repeating myself. We are seven and a half minutes behind schedule.’
We were further delayed by fifteen minutes while Kim argued with the black-bearded instructor about her footwear, stomping around the whole time trying to find a phone signal. Hester had brought a spare pair of walking boots which Kim declared too heavy, too small, too filthy, too soaked in other people’s sweat, too uncomfortable, too flat (‘I can only walk in heels!’), and too ugly. Our patient instructor answered every whine with, ‘You ain’t climbing unless you change ya shoes.’
In the end, huffing and puffing and throwing in a couple of snorts, Kim changed shoes and began to climb. She was strong, and fit and made it up to the top first, seeing as Hester had made everyone start together ‘as one organism’! Twisting slightly as she gripped the edge of the clifftop, she called out, ‘There. I’ve done it. Can I get down now?’
‘You have to share a secret!’ replied Mags, one of the sopranos holding a rope.
‘What?’
‘You have to tell Faith a secret before you come down.’
Kim tossed her head, pretty impressive considering she was clinging on to a rock. ‘I hate these shoes. There you go.’
I laughed. ‘That’s not a secret.’
‘I hate Hester.’
‘That’s not true. Go again,’ Hester called.
‘I once wet my pants in school assembly.’
‘No. Go again.’
Kim swore. ‘That’s true!’
‘Maybe, but it’s not what you need to share with us today. Come on, think about it. Faith’s waiting. What is the secret in your heart, Kim?’
Kim turned back around and faced the cliff. I for waited so long, I thought she wasn’t going to answer. Then she spoke out in a voice I strained to hear. ‘I spend nearly every penny I’ve got on looking like this. But when I face the mirror, I still see the fat girl the boys mooed at. I hate that girl and I hate that it still matters. There. That’s the secret in my heart. Can I come down now?’
She came down.
Kim was not the only one to share her heart that day. Oh – the secrets women keep tucked away! Melody told us she was awaiting the results of a biopsy – all that fear, hidden behind soft brown eyes and a gentle smile. Rosa had left behind a husband in Bulgaria who didn’t know where she was, and she had no plans to tell him.
We cheered as Millie, the last of the initial climbers, eventually reached the top. She clutched on to her rope with gnarled fingers, whooping and hollering as she scanned the horizon. It took her a long time to find a secret to share.
