I hung up, smarting.
Dylan said nothing.
‘He’s just finished the business deal he’s been working on for the past month. They’re out celebrating.’
He furrowed his brow.
‘He’s in no fit state to drive. Or listen to my problems.’
‘You haven’t told him.’
I closed my eyes. ‘I planned to. But then this deal came up, and I’ve barely seen him. When I have, it’s been with his parents there, planning wedding stuff or for a quick lunch. Hardly the right time to tell him, by the way, my mum got murdered by her pimp boyfriend, I got fostered by my grandma, who then died, leaving me in the care of my brother, who incidentally, Inever mentioned, happens to be an addict as well as mentally ill. Oh yes, and his dealer also came to join our family. That’s how I happened to get the scars you haven’t seen because I freeze every time you touch me thanks to my history of abuse. Then, over coffee, I could mention my time on the streets, working in the strip club, and how the man who started all this is now on the loose and hunting me down in order to, I don’t know, kill me and Sam. Hardly the usual topic of conversation for the HCC lunchtime crowd.’
‘I’m so sorry.’ Dylan quieted my flapping hands by placing his hand back on my shoulder, standing beside me where I perched on the stool. I resisted the urge to collapse into him and bury my head in his chest. His careful distance enabled me to see how that would make me simply another one of those women: the clichéd woman in distress let down by her idiot fiancé, throwing herself at the handsome, morally unavailable rescuer.
But the truth was, I wanted to feel the security of Dylan’s hand on my shoulder all night, and for every night until Kane was back behind bars. And for every night after that.
Dylan, however, was made of stronger stuff. He pulled away, putting enough distance between us to allow my head to start working again.
‘Right. I’ll fetch your phone and then drive you home. I can watch TV on your couch until morning.’
I took a deep breath. ‘Is that a good idea? I don’t think the other church leaders would approve.’
‘Right now, I’m more concerned with keeping you safe than what anyone else thinks.’
‘I’m not having you get into trouble because I’ve had a shock. I’ve survived a lot of nights knowing Kane was looking for me. He isn’t going to turn up at my door tonight.’ I managed a wobbly smile. ‘Everything you said at the campsite is still true, Dylan. Perry was out of order, but it’s the first time he’s everspoken to me like that. If you would be kind enough to drive me home, I’m going to try to get some sleep, then call my Family Liaison Officer first thing tomorrow. And then I’ll tell Perry everything.’
He nodded. ‘Okay. I’m sorry.’
‘Don’t be sorry. I’m glad you’ve got my back.’
‘If anything happens, the slightest thing, promise you’ll call the police first, then me?’
We drove home in silence, as I wondered what the evening’s events would mean for our friendship. I let Dylan check the tiny back garden and the inside of the house.
‘What is it?’ I asked before he left.
He had paused by the front door, and I could see him debating whether to say something.
He shook his head. ‘It’s not really the right time.’
‘It’s not really the right time to leave me wondering, either.’
It had been a weird night. One where boundaries had shifted and consequences taken a time-out.
Stepping onto the path, he squinted through the rain, glowing orange in the street light. ‘You freeze when he touches you? That’s not good, Faith. Maybe you ought to talk to Zoe about it, or something.’
‘Excuse me?’ I scrabbled for an answer, trying to remember what I’d said when my brain was still in panic mode. ‘I said… no, um, I said I freeze when a man touches me. Not Perry. Well. Not just Perry. Men. I’m working on it. We’re working on it. It’s fine.’
He nodded, a faint frown creasing his brow. Then, walking to the end of the path, he turned and said, ‘But that’s not true. You don’t freeze when all men touch you.’
No, but I did freeze then.
He watched me for a long second, the rain running down his face. ‘Take care of yourself, Faith.’ Opening the truck door, he climbed inside and drove into the storm.
I didn’t sleep that night. For lots of reasons. All of them scary ones.
I called Gwynne as soon as I deemed it a respectable hour. She listened, as always, said little, but I could hear by her tone of voice that the game had shifted. She promised to get back to me as soon as she had any news.
