Pressing my hands against my eyes, I offered the most precious part of my past to this man who made me feel so treacherously safe. Opened myself up to him in a way we both knew crossed a line.
‘My name was Rachel.’
Dylan went very, very still. He got up and carefully placed his mug in the empty sink, then stood staring out of the window into the pounding rain.
‘You’ve spoken to him.’ My voice trembled.
He sighed, gripped onto the edge of the work surface for a minute before turning back around. ‘Yes.’
‘And?’
He grimaced. ‘He came to church the other week, when you were ill, and asked for Rachel then. Said he used to live in the area, a long time ago and was trying to catch up with his wife’s family. His wife attended the chapel, and he’d heard her daughter – his stepdaughter – was still around. He didn’t mention hair, or I might have made the connection.’
‘She wasn’t his wife.’ As if that mattered.
I couldn’t hear past the clanging in my ears but felt Dylan’s hands pushing my head down between my knees, his firm arm gripping my shoulders as he urged me to breathe.
I managed not to faint, but it took a lot longer for the panic in my chest to subside.
‘He’s here. He’s been here. He’s looking for me. He phoned tonight. I have to go. I have to go!’
‘You can’t go home like this.’
‘I can’t stay here.’ I tried to get my breathing under control.
‘Call Perry. You can stay at his tonight. Wasn’t he supposed to be picking you up anyway?’
I nodded. ‘My phone’s in the rain. It fell when you ran into me.’
‘Here.’ He handed me his.
The phone rang for a long time before Perry picked up. I could hear the sound of heavy music in the background and people talking.
‘Where are you? Why didn’t you come and pick me up?’
‘What? Faith?’
‘Yes it’s Faith!’ Fear made me snap. ‘Who else would it be?’
‘Faith! Lovely Faith. Didn’t you get my message? I can’t come and pick you up. Eddie stole my keys, the thieving scoundrel.’
With a flash of awareness, I realised he was drunk.
Great timing, Perry.
I clenched my jaw so tight, I was surprised my skull didn’t crack.
‘How am I going to get home?’
‘I don’t know. Maybe your little vicar man will drive you in his Popemobile. Or you could walk. You like walking. Walking up and down everywhere, walk walk walk.’
‘I thought you were working.’ I didn’t bother hiding my growing anger.
‘I was. We finished. Decided to celebrate. Come on, Faith; don’t be that woman.’
‘What woman?’ A woman terrified at the effect of toxic substances on the people she cared about?
‘Nags. Nags who expect me to come and get them. And don’t even invite me in afterwards. I bought you a car, didn’t I? Learn to drive.’
