He gave a grunt of irritation. ‘I don’t know what’s happening to me. It’s like I lose control of all my senses when she’s there and I can hear these words coming out of my mouth, but I can’t seem to stop them.’
‘So why the anger?’
‘I don’t know! I mostly feel angry at myself for wasting years messing about, charming women I didn’t really care about, so now I finally meet the one I want to be with, I’m not good enough for her.’
‘Have you asked her out?’ I pulled a seat across from another table and sat down.
He nodded, miserably. ‘A couple of weeks after she started here. I knew by the end of the first day that I was falling for her. It’s one reason I suggested we promote her to a director, so I didn’t have the issue of being her boss.’
‘And she said no?’
‘She said yes! I invited her for a meal at mine, because she was still living with her parents, and there was Wilf to think about.’
‘Oh dear.’
‘Yeah.’ If possible, Isaac slumped even further into his fancy office chair. ‘I bought this meal for two from the farm shop, which I burnt while reheating. Arthur came in and spent half the meal rambling on about their new range of coffins, you know, just in case she needed one in the near future. I forgot to take down the sticky notes about me.’
‘“If a strange woman is here, she’s with Isaac”?’
‘That and others that I’ve since thrown in the bin.’
‘So, it didn’t go well.’
‘She was witty, and smart, and ate most of the disgusting tagine. We talked about everything. Politics, films, school.’ He pulled an ironic face. ‘Work. And when I asked if she wanted to go out again she told me that while she’d had a lovely evening, she wasn’t interested in a fling with the village Casanova. She’d agreed to the date because she’d not seen me in years and thought I might have changed.’
‘Ouch.’
‘I was okay to start with. Took the rejection on the chin, because I knew she was right. I thought we’d stick to being colleagues, no harm done. Then as the weeks and months went by, and I got to know her better… Jessie, I think about herall the time. If she’s not here, I’m constantly wondering where she is, like the room is empty without her. My life feels empty without her. Only, she doesn’t want a washed-up schoolboy player, whose personal life is a shambles. The more I love her, the more I act like this, and the worse it gets.’
‘Okay.’ Helovedher? That put a totally different slant on things. I tried to keep cool and collected, like this was not the catastrophe he thought it was. ‘On the plus side, your one date shows that she must find something about you attractive, and you got on really well at first. She’ll have seen that the weird way you’ve been acting isn’t really you. So, if her problem is that you aren’t mature enough for her, then man up. Learn to cook. Turn your house into a nice place for people who don’t love gaming to hang out. Show her the kind of partner you’d be if you were in a committed relationship.’
‘I’ve never been in a committed relationship; I haven’t a clue how to do that.’
‘Isaac, you’ve been in a committed relationship with me for twenty-eight years. With Elliot for twelve. You’re kind. Reliable. Loyal. Funny. Get out of the mindset of trying to charm some girl you fancy, and think about how you show love to someone.’
He gave a hesitant nod, but was interrupted from saying anything else by his phone ringing.
‘Yes?’ He stood up quickly. ‘I’ll be right down.’
‘Everything okay?’
‘The bride and groom are here to check how it’s all going.’ He stopped abruptly in the doorway and spun around, causing me to bump into the back of him. ‘I’m really glad you’re back.’
I followed Isaac downstairs, expecting to find some wannabe influencers or a wealthy businessman on his third wedding. Instead, it was a couple called Bob and Winnie from the day centre.
‘We always had a thing for each other, right from school,’ Winnie told me after I’d sat them down on the terrace with a glass of champagne each. ‘But my father insisted I marry someone who could take on the farm, so I had to settle for James Salterford instead.’
‘I was heartbroken,’ Bob interjected. ‘I’d have knocked his block off if I thought it’d do any good.’
‘Instead, he married Doris Jones to make me jealous.’
‘It worked, too,’ Bob laughed.
‘Well, there was nothing to be done then but get on with it, so we did. For forty-nine years. Then last year, James had a stroke the same week Doris passed on.’
‘Lung cancer,’ Bob said, shaking his head sorrowfully. ‘Never smoked a cigarette in her life.’
‘And then I bump into Bob at Wood’s funeral directors. He’s on his way in as I’m on my way out. So, of course, the natural thing to do was offer each other a little comfort.’
