“Your poor mom.” Abby laughs and shakes her head in commiseration with my mom.
“That’s why it was so hard on my family when she got the diagnosis. She was a bad-ass through and through, and she wouldn’t let anything get her down. One day, while she was in remission, we were talking about our dreams and goals for the future. I told her I wanted to be a doctor and help little girls like her. She told me she wanted to be a scientist, so she could invent a cure for all cancers. She was wicked smart and if she’d survived, I’m sure she would’ve done just that.”
“Wow. Summer’s an inspiration.”
“I know.” I suck in a deep breath and prepare myself for what I have to say next. “Unfortunately, she caught a simple cold right after one of her first chemo treatments after being re-diagnosed. It caused an infection, and she never recovered.”
“Oh my God, I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine a loss like that.”
I sigh heavily. “It’s been hard, that’s for sure.”
“But you’re still following the dream you shared with her. That’s amazing. I can’t imagine how you manage your coursework and play basketball at a D1 school.”
“It’s not always easy, but I’ve managed.” I’ve worked my ass off to get where I am, but there’s no reason to go into that detail with Abby. She knows what it’s like to maintain the GPA that’s required for admissions.
Abby keeps her attention focused on the road for a few minutes before she asks, “You’re really good at basketball. Have you ever considered the NBA?”
“When I was twelve, maybe,” I say a bit sarcastically. “I knew my parents were broke and had to find a way to get into college. I took the gift God gave me, and I made the most of it. I may be good, but I’m not good enough for the NBA. I’m focusing my time and energy on something I know I can do for myself, not a pipe dream.”
“Why would that be a pipe dream?”
“Um… roughly two percent of the NCAA, play ball professionally. I knew going in, the odds weren’t in my favor. But I was guaranteed an education, so I chose the school that gave me the highest chance of getting into the graduate school of my choice.”
“Wow. I don’t even know what to say.”
“The best part is when I finish, my only debt will be med school. Hopefully, I can score a scholarship, so the amount of debt I have will be even less. My parents help with what they can, but they didn’t qualify for loans, since they basically had to file for bankruptcy from Summer’s medical bills.”
“Wow. I can’t imagine going through that.”
Shit.
Is that pity I hear in her voice?
“Don’t feel sorry for me,” I say more forceful than I intend. It may be harsh, but I don’t need her looking at me any different or think any less of me because of the hardships my family has gone through. We got through it, and that’s all that matters.
“I… I wasn’t,” she whispers, and she pulls her hand away to place it on the wheel. This simple act makes my heart sink, and my stomach turns to lead. I’ve fucking hurt her feelings.
Fuck. I didn’t mean to do that. She’s been nothing but kind to me. Hell, she even took charge in my fucked-up state and is driving me across the state to see my parents in a godforsaken hospital.
Great, Jacobs. Way to go.
Douche of the Year—goes to me.
“Look…” I start but don’t know where to begin. When she doesn’t say anything, I go with the truth. “I’m sorry. Few people know about my past because I don’t want them to think any different of me. You’ve been nothing but kind, and I’m a complete douche for reacting like this. Please, forgive me.”
I look to her with pleading eyes, hoping she won’t hold my knee-jerk reaction against me. She sighs heavily and readjusts her hands on the wheel.
“You’re not a douche, Drew. Prideful, maybe. But you’ve just been put into a situation where circumstances were stacked against you. You’re a fighter, just like Summer. I won’t hold that against you. And by the way—I don’t feel sorry for you. In fact, if anything, I feel admiration. You’ve been through so much, and you don’t give yourself enough credit. There’s no way I would’ve picked myself up as you have, and still manage to reach your goal. Am I sad you had to go through this? Yes. But I don’t feel sorry for you. I feel empathy and compassion. Pity is for someone who you feel is beneath you. If anything, I look up to you.”
Abby gives me a sly smile, and reaches out to pat my hand once more. Instead of letting her pull back, I clasp my hand in hers and squeeze it tight. Her simple touch brings me a sense of peace.
OceanofPDF.com
11
Abby
By the timewe arrive at the hospital, I’m exhausted and stiff from hours of being in the car. I park in the closest parking lot to the emergency room. As soon as we’ve exited the car and walk to the emergency room doors, Drew grabs my hand, as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. He’s hardly let go of it since I made it clear I never felt sorry for him.
