It was possibly a good thing that before anyone had a chance to respond, more potential Business Builders burst through the library door. For a second I think all of us had to check our eyes weren’t playing tricks on us, as three completely identical young men walked in perfect sync over to the table, as though striding onstage ready for a big number.
They were wearing white satin shorts (the emphasis here onshort), bright blue running tops and matching blue socks pulled to mid-calf. Each of them had black hair, shaved at the sides and sticking straight up on top like a shoe brush. They also had a large blue tattoo of the letter K on their scrawny upper arms. Which didn’t strike me as problematic until they reached the table and stood sideways on in a tight line, so that their arms were nearly touching, tattoos facing out. I mean, perhaps young people weren’t as aware of the connotations of those letters together. But, well, in that case somebody needed to tell them…
‘Hiiii!’ they sang in unison.
Everyone offered a slightly perturbed welcome, and Trev fetched three cappuccinos with extra chocolate sprinkles, his eyes unable to stray from those arms.
‘Would you like to introduce yourselves and your business idea to the group?’ Yasmin asked, her voice strained.
‘Of course!’ one of them replied. ‘We’re Kyle, Kyron and Kylo.’ He pointed to each one in turn, to show us which was which. Not that we would have any chance of keeping track if they happened to swap positions.
‘Otherwise known as the Frea-K Three-K!’ Kyron added.
‘We’re triplets!’ Kylo finished off, looking on the brink of jazz hands.
‘Wonderful,’ Yasmin replied, sounding like she couldn’t have meant it less. ‘And your business idea?’
‘We’re triplets,’ Kyle said.
‘And you can make money from that?’ Kate asked, perplexed.
‘Forty thousand followers and counting,’ Kyron said, snapping his fingers.
‘Sweet!’ Jaxx nodded, impressed.
‘I’m confused. How does that make you money?’ Yasmin asked.
‘Before we get into that, how about we go over the aims of the group,’ I tried to say, but was interrupted by Frea-K Three-K jumping to their feet and then proceeding to carry out some sort of choreographed performance that combined rap with cheerleading moves and possibly some martial arts. I have to say, it was surprisingly good. We all spontaneously applauded when they’d finished.
Of course, that was a mistake. If the rap hadn’t been enough, the sound of clapping had Irene appearing faster than Nesbit when he heard me open the fridge.
‘Really?’ she barked, checking her watch. ‘Fifty minutes into the first meeting and we’ve turned the library into a burlesque club?’
‘Ooh, burlesque!’ Kyron (or was it Kylo? I’d lost track during the performance) exclaimed, grabbing his brother’s arm. ‘Great idea!’
‘Can I just say, your style is fabulous!’ Probably-Kyle said, making a sweeping gesture from Irene’s head to her square-shoed toes. ‘The whole retro-nerdy look is so on right now. I mean, many have tried but few can pull it off. Is that cardigan actual vintage nineties?’
‘And the brooch!’ Possibly-Kylo gushed. ‘I would offer to buy it off you, except it would be a crime to separate it from that blouse.’
‘Um, what is happening here?’ Irene stammered, clutching at the brooch, which was shaped like a swan with green gems for eyes.
‘It’s the Wednesday Business Builders, being Frea-Kayed out! Kyle, Kyron and Kylo,’ Kyle said, pointing to each of them in turn.
‘You’re joining us, aren’t you?’ Kyron asked. ‘I have so many questions.’
‘I don’t think…’
‘Come on, the seat next to me is free,’ Kyle said, pulling out a chair. ‘One more cappuccino, please, Trev. Hang on a minute, is that a genuine horse-hair belt, Kate?’
Well, the rest of the meeting certainly kept my mind off the looming grandparental reunion. The remaining hour was mostly spent getting to know each other, along with compiling a list of useful topics for further meetings, which wasn’t anywhere near as straightforward as it sounds.
The triplets were polite enough to take a sample of Nomato, promising to share on social media if they liked it. Yasmin was able to find common ground with Kate when it turned out she made biodegradable dog beds, and I found a moment to discreetly speak to the boys about their tattoos. That led to a horribly disturbing internet search to confirm my point, but by the time Kylo had stopped sobbing, the other two had already managed to pick off most of the Ks, which it turned out were only temporary stick-ons due to their needle phobia.
‘No wonder that picture got only fifteen likes,’ Kyron said, clutching his cheeks in dismay.
‘Yeah, and that explains some of the DMs we got afterwards,’ Kyle agreed.
‘Thanks, Ollie. Our first meeting and you’ve already saved our brand!’ Kylo added.
