Ugh. I felt as though I had fallen into a volcano. Suffocatingly hot, dizzy from the lack of air, the outside music distorting into a cacophony. I needed space, quiet, cold water on my wrists and face. To find a focal spot and remember how to get my chest moving properly. And most of my head was taken up with the overwhelming urge to grab onto the strong, gentle hand that had become my anchor.
I leant my arms against the spare sink, closed my eyes and cursed this whole stupid enterprise. At some point, which could have been anything between a few seconds and half a lifetime, I felt a different hand – wonderfully cool and firm, press against the back of my neck.
‘Come on,’ a voice with an unmistakeable thread of steel said. ‘Time to buck up and stop giving those jealous cows something to gossip about.’
I debated that statement for another few seconds.
‘Here. Get changed, then I’ll sort your face.’
Dani’s bag bumped against my arm, and I opened my eyes to see Selena rummaging through my make-up bag, her nose wrinkling at the measly contents. I picked the carrier bag up, twisting it in my hands while attempting to clear the freezing fog from my brain.
‘Tonight’s a big deal for Nathan. If you skulk off now, then he won’t be able to enjoy all the Larks whodidmake the effort, sorted babysitters, bothered dressing up and dragging their other halves out to honour everything he’s done for us this year. He’ll just feel crap about the one Lark who flaked.’ Selena pointed an ancient lipstick at me, ‘You are not going to make Nathan feel crap this evening. If Audrey has to pin you down while I wrestle you into that dress myself.’
The thought of Audrey getting involved in this scenario was enough. Less than a minute later, I was leaning against the sink as Selena tried to work a miracle with my gunky old mascara. ‘You care a lot about Nathan,’ I observed, risking a good, hard poke in the eye.
The tip of the wand hovered for a fraction of a second, Selena’s gaze fixed firmly somewhere around my eyebrow. ‘I’ve met enough scummy men to know the value of a good one.’
‘Why don’t you leave the Larks and investigate where that chemistry might lead?’
She jabbed the mascara back in its lid. ‘If I don’t come, then Audrey won’t. And believe it or not, the club is the closest thing she’s got to having friends. She spends all day by herself, cleaning empty houses for women who have the confidence to do something with their lives. Apart from playing bridge with a few pensioners, she doesn’t see another soul. And while she might act like she hates it, in the past few months she’s started running most days. Actually getting off her backside and doing something positive.’ She started dabbing some gloss onto my top lip. ‘She comes back glowing. I knew she’d learn to appreciate it if I dragged her along enough times.’
‘Right.’Wrong!‘You’re sacrificing your feelings for Nathan for the sake of Audrey.’
‘Oh for pity’s sake, don’t try twisting it into something noble. No mother wants a fat, lazy daughter with no friends and no prospect of ever moving out. If she can scrabble together some self-respect, we all end up better off.’
I could have said that if she showed Audrey some respect it might help, but seeing as she was currently in charge of my face, I’d save it for another time.
‘Besides, while Nathan and I might have undeniable physical magnetism, when it comes to a relationship, he is so not my brand. And however spectacular our no-strings nights would be – and they would be – in the morning I’d miss my run with the girls. Nope, Nathan and I are one of those doomed cases of pure, raw passion destined never to be.’ She leant forwards, her bronzed cleavage squishing against my cheek as she fiddled with some stray strands of hair. ‘Still, he knows that I know what’s running through his head when he sneaks a peek at me limbering up.’ She straightened up, spinning me around to face the mirror and lowering her voice to a purr. ‘Pure. Magic.’
‘Wow.’
‘I know. And look, with a bit of effort you’ve not scrubbed up too badly, either. You could almost justify the rumours about you and Nate. Dim the lights, wait for him to chug a few beers and it’s not so far-fetched to think he could offer you a second glance.’
‘Thanks, Selena. I think that’s the nicest thing anyone’s said to me in years.’ I might have managed to pull off the sarcasm a little better, had that statement not actually been true.
‘He doesn’t drink alcohol though. So I guess it’ll still be all eyes on me.’
And with that, she swung out the door, giving me a much-needed minute to look in the mirror and wonder who on earth blinked back, in that pretty black jumpsuit with the pink and blue flowers that somehow transformed chunk to curves. This strange young woman with her smooth skin and bright eyes got a second glance from me, and that was all that mattered.
‘Right then, whoever you are, time to find out whether you like to party or not.’
And wouldn’t you know it, she did.
And, while Nathan may have only offered me one glance as I stuck back my shoulders and did my best attempt at a confident strappy-heeled stroll over to Mel, it was long enough for his eyes to crinkle up and his smile to spread to a surprised grin, and it lit me up all the way to the buffet table. What mattered was not whether or not it contained any physical magnetism, or pure, raw passion (I’m ninety-nine per cent sure it didn’t), but that he knew I knew what he was thinking anyway: Nathan was happy for me, and proud of me, and pleased as the cinnamon punch that I had made it.
So, Selena had been right about that, if nothing else.
I spent the remaining two hours before Joey was due home listening to my friends (my FRIENDS!)laughing and telling stories and winding each other up, while sipping on cheap wine and inwardly goggling at the fact that I was at a party, and not even hating it. When, about an hour or so in, my anxiety stirred, Dani tucked one arm through mine and winked, effectively clonking it on the head with a sledgehammer. I joined in the quiz, and cheered along when Bronwyn dragged Nathan onto the tiny dance floor, because ‘we’ve heard you’re a legendary groover’.
‘Good job her new boyfriend isn’t here,’ Dani pouted, making the wordboyfriendsound like something she’d found floating in her toilet.
‘Not his scene, apparently,’ Mel replied, flinging some of her own shapes beside us as Taylor Swiftpumped out of the speakers.
‘Because the closest thing to illegal drug use is Audrey puffing on her inhaler,’ Dani sniffed back.
Mel shimmied closer. ‘Plus, Isobel getting a speeding ticket is the Larks equivalent of a crime lord.’
‘It’s not funny, though. If Bronwyn doesn’t extricate herself from this situation soon, I’m going to seriously worry. Either that or start digging up evidence to get him banged up somewhere very far away.’
