I took several deep breaths to calm my still-racing heart and left to grab the rest of the supplies in the truck.
I made several trips between the truck and the small home, carrying in most of what we bought—as well as the chill from outside. But Decker was quick and started a fire in the fireplace. When I commented on it, he gave Merrick credit for having left it already set up.
“Your friend—” I stopped beside him and watched the flames grow.
“He’s not… actually a friend,” Decker corrected with a bite to his words, then quickly fell short on his bravado. “Merrick’s more like a colleague.”
“Well, I appreciate that he’s allowing us to use his place.”
Decker didn’t say a word as he stoked the fire, using the poker to shift the logs before he added more.
I guess he’s done talking.
I couldn’t stand the dead silence any longer, so I went back out to the truck and grabbed the rest of the stuff. The chilliness of the wind gave me clarity, which I sorely needed.
As I brought the last bag into the house, Decker was coming down the stairs. “I started the two heating units upstairs. Just give it some time for the rooms to warm up.”
“Okay,” I said, placing the final box of food on the counter. “Your… colleague should consider investing in a heating system down here.”
“I’ll get right on researching that for him.” Decker cracked a small smile, then it disappeared like a ghost. “If I told Merrick what he should be doing with his own house, he’d have my balls.”
Smart ass. I shook my head. “Anyways, the two coolers that are filled with drinks are in the corner over there.” I thumbed toward the kitchen.
He yawned and stretched his arms above his head, which made his shirt rise and exposed his taut, six-pack abs. My mouth watered, and I couldn’t look away.
Decker chuckled. “It’s been a long day and you look like you’re ready to drop. Let’s go to bed and we’ll talk tomorrow,” he said hoarsely. His eyes shifted to the fireplace, then he nodded, and turned to the stairs.
For a second, I assumed he meant that we were sleeping in the same room, in the same bed. My insides lit up and so did my cock. “Sounds good.”
Then he added the verbal hit. “The last bedroom down the hall is mine. It’s small, and it only has a twin bed, but there’s a table to clean and set up my rifle. Take the room across from where we put Regi. It has a king size bed.”
I quelled the sudden disappointment that coiled tight in my chest like a constricting python. I learned a long time ago from my father and brother, to brush off the hurt and keep moving. But this? From Decker? The ache was beginning to fester as he continually drew the proverbial line across our friendship.
“Okay, if that’s what you want.” I tried not to sound dejected, but I couldn’t hide the defeat in my voice.
I wasn’t expecting sex, just something… anything to reconnect with Decker. What we did in the truck—in the motel…
“For Christ sakes, K.” His hands were balled into fists at his sides. “Don’t look so disappointed. I made no promises to you. And here you are, pissed that I won’t fuck you.”
“I’m not pissed—and I don’t want you to fuck me,” I hissed, but I didn’t sound convincing.
“Liar.” Decker’s eyes blazed with fiery anger as he took a step toward me. “Do you want to be fucked that bad? Do you want me to just whip my dick out and bend you over? Or would you rather get on your knees and suck my cock until it’s nice and slick and then I’d bend you over and fuck your ass until you can’t sit down for a week.”
He had no idea what his words were doing to my body—what imagery he set off in my head. And if I was in a right head space, I’d let him fuck me, and more.
Nonetheless, Decker was right. I was pissed—pissed off that he was callously disregarding my feelings. Or that he thought all I wanted from him was his cock. He knew me better than that—well, he used to anyway.
Instead of punching the asshole, I moved back. “Get over yourself, Moss. I wasn’t looking for your dick,” I hissed.
With his hot and cold attitude, I was regretting the dicking around we had done in the truck. Except, when we were getting each other off in the truck, and then in the motel room, I would have sworn I saw affection like he’d once had for me burning in his eyes. I guessed wrong.
“Fuck.” He kicked the sofa before turning back to me. “What do you want from me, K?”
“I don’t want shit from you,” I growled between clenched teeth. “I’m going to bed.”
Before I could take a step, Decker got between the stairs and me. “Can’t you see that all this—keeping the two of you safe, is hard enough without piling on all of this emotional crap?”
“I know,” I said sadly, without looking at him.
