‘I just can’t believe I didn’t see it. Didn’t see who he was.’
‘Sometimes we don’t. Did I ever tell you about my sister, Zoe? She fell madly in love. Turns out one of my other sisters had a thing for the same guy, but that’s another story. Anyway, Zoe is the most switched on of us all, the one who has her head on straight, yet she married this bloke, then discovered he was an absolute tosser. It lasted four weeks.’
‘Four years?’ Keli asked, thinking she must have picked that up wrong.
Yvie took another bite of her biscuit. ‘Nope, four weeks. A one-month marriage. It was a nightmare. Thought she’d never get over it, but the point is, she did. Look, no matter what, I’m here for you. And we have a group meeting at lunchtime today, if you think it would help to vent or talk more about it.’
Yvie ran a weekly hospital group for staff or patients who were struggling with anxiety or who just needed conversation and human connection. Every session was packed.
‘Thanks, but I wouldn’t take up the group’s time. I’m planning to drown myself in work, combined with a solid schedule of burying my head in the sand. I might even send another futile text or stalk his social media. I feel that’s the mature way to deal with it.’
‘Good plan. Or, you know, we could take lunch at the same time, nip down to the pharmacy for a test kit, do the test, then you’d know one way or another.’
The suggestion immediately made goosebumps pop up on Keli’s arms. Yes. That would be the right thing to do. But then, what if…
She paused the thought to let the sudden wave of nausea pass. What if she were pregnant? That would make it real and change her whole life, her whole world. She’d worked on elderly wards since the day she’d qualified, and she used to think that it was all she would ever want to do. Lately… well, lately she’d begun to think it was time for a change and maybe a break from nursing. A new chapter. She’d been contemplating perhaps travelling. Maybe working for a charity abroad. But if she was indeed pregnant, she could kiss any hopes of doing that goodbye. And she’d have to tell her parents…
She got stuck on that thought. Her parents. She’d have to lay it all out to them. That made her want to put her head back on the table.
After a brief pause for another bite of biscuit, Yvie carried on with her plan. ‘And then you – or we – could go force this bloke to see you, to face you, and tell him everything that’s happened. He’s fifty per cent involved in the potentially life-changing pregnancy question, and a hundred per cent dickhead for ghosting you. No matter what, you need to have a conversation to get some sense of closure.’
Closure. Keli knew she was right. This wasn’t a one-night stand. It had been love, or close to it, at least on her part. And hetold her he felt the same – right before he checked out of her life and stopped responding to her for no apparent reason at all.
The thoughts, the possibilities, endless awful scenarios began to overwhelm her, so she stretched up from the chair. ‘I’ll think about it, but right now, I’m going to stick to the burying my head in the sand thing, and go say hello to Freda and then you can fill me in on everyone else. Did she have a good night?’
Keli frequently struck up a special bond with a patient, and this week that was Freda, a lovely lady of eighty, who’d broken her hip after a fall, and who’d had no visitors in the week she’d been here. She’d told Keli that she had friends in the clubs that she went to a couple of times a week, but no family left in Scotland. Her adult daughters both lived in Canada, and she didn’t want to let them know what had happened to her because she didn’t want to trouble them. Keli had spent as much time with her as possible, some days staying late after a shift to sit with her. She’d tried her best to change Freda’s mind about contacting her family, but so far, no success.
‘She did,’ Yvie nodded. ‘She’s been lined up for surgery day after tomorrow, but she’s not keen. I think she needs some more reassurance.’
‘Okay, I’ll go talk to her. And, Yvie, thank you. I appreciate your support, I really do.’
‘No problem. I’m always here. No matter what, we’ve got you.’
Keli felt tears prickle the insides of her eyelids and she blinked them back. ‘You’re really going to have to stop being so lovely. Do me a favour and be a complete cow to me for the rest of the day because that makes me less emotional.’
‘No problem. You’re a daft boot and an indecisive tit. How’s that?’
‘Perfect. Thank you. Keep up the good work.’ Keli managed a smile, and kept it on her face all the way to the ward.
Freda shared a room with three other patients and right now, Vera and Janet in the beds opposite were fast asleep, and Emily, who was in the bed next to Freda, had been taken to the day room to watch her favourite morning show. It was one of those ones that involved lots of people arguing with each other, so they didn’t put it on here on the ward for fear of disrupting the morning peace.
As always, the elderly lady greeted her with the widest of smiles. ‘Good morning, lass. It’s a treat to see you.’
‘And you, Freda. You’re looking stronger today.’ Keli pulled up a chair and sat next to her. ‘How are you feeling?’
‘Aye, well, I’m still breathing. Always a plus,’ she said in her soft Highland lilt. She’d explained that she’d moved to Glasgow from Inverness after her husband died, because her daughters had been at university here. When they’d graduated and moved abroad, Freda had stayed. ‘I learned a long time ago that sometimes that’s all you need to do. Just keep breathing until it all gets better.’
That kicked Keli right in the heart. She’d been dumped and ghosted by a man she’d thought was her future, and now she was fairly sure she was about to have his child. She didn’t feel equipped for that. For any of it.
But today? She realised she had two options. She could take Yvie’s advice and confront her problems, or she could listen to Freda and just keep breathing until it got better.
And it was time to make her choice.
10 A.M. – NOON
5
ODETTE
