‘No worries. Did you get any sleep?’
‘A few hours.’ Keli joined her at the kettle, flicked it back on and pulled her mug and her box of herbal teas from the kitchen cupboard above it.
Yvie lowered her voice. ‘Did you do the test?’ She didn’t even have to wait for an answer – Keli’s face said it all. ‘You didn’t.’
‘I didn’t,’ Keli conceded, flushing with the admission because she knew how ridiculous it was. She was an adult. A nurse, for God’s sake. She was also a focused, smart, independent woman. And yet all of those things seemed to have gone into hibernation for the last week, ever since her period didn’t arrive and she’d started to suffer from unexpected and frequent bouts of queasiness. ‘I was too busy. After you left last night, I texted him, then stared at the phone for the next four hours hoping he’d reply. He didn’t. I’m pathetic. I know this.’
‘Morning, ladies,’ a male voice interrupted them and Yvie immediately spun round with a beaming grin. Dr Richard Campbell, head of the ICU was in the doorway. ‘Nurse Danton,’ he addressed Yvie. ‘I’m looking for Dr McVitie. Any clues?’
‘Radiology. He’s down there chasing up overdue scan results. If you listen carefully you can hear the thunder roar.’
Dr Campbell nodded with mock seriousness. ‘I thought it was the air conditioning playing up. Thanks, Yvie,’ before retreating and going on his way.
During the exchange, Keli had carried on making her tea, completely disengaged from the conversation, a point that wasn’t lost on Yvie.
‘Oh no,’ Yvie whispered, gazing at Keli intently.
‘What?’
‘It’s him. It’s Dr Campbell. Bloody hell, I can’t believe it.’
Keli stopped her right there. ‘Yvie!’ she exclaimed. That got her friend’s attention. ‘It’s not him. He’s married. He’s about twenty years older than me. He’s a doctor. One red flag equals disqualification. Three is a ten-foot bargepole.’
‘Oh thank God, because I know his wife, Liv. She works over in palliative care and she’s lovely. If you hurt her, I’d have to kill you and then we’d be short-staffed here.’
Despite every bone in her body being crushed by the weight of the world, Keli laughed. She’d only known Yvie for the ten months or so since she’d transferred to Glasgow Central, but they’d immediately clicked. She was warm, she was funny, and she had a great line in gallows humour. It wasn’t difficult to love her.
‘Anyway, you said you’d stop asking…’
An uncharacteristic sheepishness shadowed Yvie’s face. ‘I know. I lied. My dignified, understanding side wants to respect your privacy, but my insane curiosity is in charge today. It’s only because I love you that I’m not getting offended that you won’t tell me who he is. Honestly, my imagination is running wild. Last night, I decided it was Lewis Capaldi. Then I thought, no, because when we saw him at Glastonbury, we were stuck up the back. If you were doing the naked stuff with him, we’d have been down the front. So I’m back to thinking it’s the bloke in the canteen because I’m really hoping I’ll get free pies out of this.’
Despite the ache in her gut, Keli smiled, but there was more than a hint of an apology in there. ‘I know. I’m sorry. You know I’ll tell you when I can, but I promised him and it’s…’
They both said, ‘Complicated’ at the same time.
Keli hated all the subterfuge, but even if the man she’d fallen for wasn’t keeping his promises to her right now, that didn’t mean she was going to break the promise she’d made to him.
On the first night they’d got together, he’d told her how important his privacy was to him and she’d understood. In his line of work, he had to protect his personal life, and there were a hundred complications to going public, so when he’d asked her to keep their relationship completely confidential until he was ready to share it, she’d agreed. For three whirlwind months,they’d kept their meetings under the radar, never venturing out, staying away from anywhere they’d be spotted. Keli hadn’t minded. She was naturally private and all the subterfuge had added to the excitement and the exquisite intensity of the time that they did have together. She’d fallen hard, fast, he’d told her that he had too and then… nothing.
Out of nowhere, about a month ago he’d stopped answering her texts. Stopped calling her. She knew he was alive because he was still posting on social media and it looked like he was living his best life, so the question that kept her awake at night, that made her fluctuate between confusion, anger and hurt was… why? Was this just a game that he played with women? Had she read him wrong? Was the guy she’d thought that she was falling in love with actually a heartless bastard who had just picked her up and dropped her? And if that were true, how the hell was she going to handle her very real fear that she might now be pregnant with his child?
‘Tell me what I can do to help?’ Yvie asked her, sympathy oozing from every word.
Keli wrapped her in a hug of gratitude. ‘Nothing. That’s the thing – it’s all down to me and I’m too much of a flipping coward to face it. I met my brother on the way in…’
‘Tell me he’s finally single,’ Yvie begged, lifting her mug over to the white Formica table in the middle of the room. ‘I’d give up my fiancé and both Ben & Jerry for that man.’
‘Still not single, sorry.’ Keli followed her to the table and pulled out a chair, folding one leg under her as she sat down. As she did, she felt a tug of tightness around the waistband of the trousers of her scrubs that made her stomach lurch.
Yvie slipped into another of the blue plastic chairs. ‘Sorry, I made that about me there. Okay, let’s go. Let’s talk through your options, but start with telling me why you still haven’t taken the test.’ They’d had this discussion a couple of times overthe last few days, but Keli had waved off that question with a vague excuse, then changed the subject. This time she answered honestly.
‘Terror,’ she blurted. ‘I always thought I was pretty brave. Spider in the bath? I’m in there like a shot. Hard conversations with patients? I can handle those too. Turns out my courage draws the line at finding out whether my womb is occupied.’
‘You know it makes no sense to wait, right?’ Yvie said gently.
‘I do. I just… Aaaaargh.’ Keli dropped her head down onto the table. ‘How did this happen to me? I’m twenty-nine years old and I may or may not be pregnant to a man that has been ghosting me for the last month. How could I have got it so wrong, Yvie?’
Yvie shrugged, and answered the question with a sad smile. ‘Because you’re human. And because life sucks sometimes.’
