Statistics state that if a child isn’t located in the first twenty-four hours of abduction, it’s unlikely that they will befound alive. As we neared the end of that window of time, my hope refused to wane. I refused to give up on my girl. I would find her, even if it killed me.
Sheriff Cortez and his team had left a while ago. Hours, or perhaps minutes, had drifted by in the unnervingly silent house, leaving me with no sense of how long I’d been there. At least with the officers here, I felt we were constantly working towards the end game of finding her.
“Stella,” I heard Max whisper from beside me. I hadn’t even registered him coming into the room.
I adverted my eyes from the empty crib I’d been staring at for God knows how long and met his gaze. I could see the turmoil reflected in his eyes that mirrored my own.
It wasn’t until I felt his thumb swipe softly under my eyes that I even realized I was crying. How did I even have tears left?
“You need to eat something,” he murmured.
I could tell that the idea of eating thrilled him just as much as it thrilled me. Was Charlie eating? Had the sickos who’d taken her made sure she was fed, changed, and taken care of?
Thoughts of my beautiful girl in a soiled diaper, screaming for food and comfort, threatened to overtake my mind.
Sensing my inner struggle without me even having to utter a word, Max tugged on my hand, coaxing me over into his lap. I went willingly, my weary bones heavy with defeat, no fight left in me.
I curled into his embrace as the tears fell harder. Shuddering cries came from my lips and Max brushed the loose strands of hair from my face and rested his cheek on top of my head.
“We’re not giving up,” he insisted. “Everyone down at the station is working overtime to find her. They have put a rushon any finger prints they lifted earlier and all evidence is being combed through with every set of eyes available.”
As much as I wanted his words to comfort me, I couldn’t mask my fear. Would we find her? If we did manage to find her, what state would she be in?
“Let’s go lay down,”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
“Stell..”
“I said, I’m not goinganywhere,” my voice cracked with the desperation of needing to feel close to Charlie. I couldn’t leave her nursery. If I did, I felt like I was giving up. I would sit vigil here until they brought us news of where she was.
“Okay, okay,” Max conceded, shifting so he could sit with his back against the wall, myself between his outstretched legs. “We’ll stay right here.”
“You don’t need to stay. Go sleep,” I huffed in annoyance.
He didn’t need to sit here with me out of pity. We’d gone through hell and back before and I was intimately familiar with the ways in and out. I was used to handling the pressures of life on my own. I didn’t need my boyfriend to coddle me.
“Don’t do this, Stella,” he pleaded.
“Do what?” I bit out.
“Don’t push me away.”
“She’s not your daughter, she’s mine. I don’t need your pity.”
I knew that I should have felt a tinge of regret saying the words as soon as they left my mouth, but Max just couldn’t understand. He wasn’t her father. He hadn’t raised her from the moment someone set her on his chest and said ‘congratulations’. He hadn’t soothed her to sleep through regressions, teething, cluster feeding, and sickness. Point being, I didn’t need him here.
“Don’t you fucking dare.” He seethed, pushing out from behind me to stand. Pacing the floor, I could feel the frustration and anger radiating off him in waves. He stopped in front of me and crouched down so that he was level with my gaze. I refused to look him in the eyes.
“Don’t you fuckingdareassume I’m not going out of my fucking mind right now.”
He placed his hand on the side of my throat, angling my face so that our gazes met. I didn’t flinch as I looked up at him. I could see the tears threatening to fall on his lower lash line. His eyes seemed almost hollow and in that moment, I could clearly see he was hurting just as bad as I was. I’d underestimated how much Charlie and I meant to him, but seeing his face contorted in grief cleared things up.
“I may not have given life to that little girl, and I may not be her biological father, but I swear on everything I have that I love her more than life itself. Stella, it’skillingme not to be out there looking for her. I want to find the mother fuckers who took her and make them pay for the pain they’ve caused this family over the last twenty-four hours. It’s taking every ounce of my willpower to let the Sheriff and his men do their jobs. I’d love nothing more than to grab my gun, search the town from top to bottom, and put a bullet between the eyes of the men who did this.”
A single tear crested over the edge and tracked down his cheek. I reached my fingers up to silently brush it away.
“I love you and Charlie with everything I am and everything I have. You two are my light and my world. I know you’re hurting and I can’t even begin to imagine how painful this is for you, but please Stella, don’t push me away. Let me carry this burden with you. Please, Trouble, let me in.”
