Sheriff Cortez had thankfully already been at the house and was able to dispatch a call for units to come out to the ranch. Once his fellow officers arrived, it turned into a constant barrage of questions, recollection of events, and details that could point them toward a lead.
Police swept Charlie’s nursery for fingerprints to check against their records. Someone asked Stella to recount the night she left her ex for dead in their shared apartment. She had shared the story no less than ten times in the last hour since we’d left the nursery.
Emmanuel had sat beside Stella, a presence of comfort and stability should she need it. Any other time, I would be banging my chest in protectiveness, insisting that I was her rock, but right now, I was just as broken as she was.
Pops took up the seat beside me, his hand a constant pressure on my shoulder, reminding us we were not alone.
Ray had rushed out to work on the party clean up with Wade, neither of them good at expressing their emotions in the heat of the moment. The ethereal vision they had constructed to celebrate our girl had since turned into a den of chaos as officers skittered about.
“Stella, Max, did you hear Sergeant Walker?” Emmanuel said softly, breaking us from our trance.
I cleared my throat before answering, “I’m sorry, no. I wasn’t paying attention.”
Sergeant Walker pursed her lips in a gentle sign of annoyance. “That’s okay, I know this is all extremely overwhelming, but the more information we can gather, the more chance we have of finding Charlie.”
I felt Stella stiffen beside me and I reached over to clasp her hand in mine. I could feel the rage radiating off her body in waves as she spoke.
“Youwillfind my daughter.” She gritted out through clenched teeth.
“Ma’am… With all due respect, the chances of that ha-”
“I don’t give a fuck about the statistics or chances. You’ll find my daughter before something worse happens to her.” Stella’s eyes met the officers and I could see the fire brewing in them.
“I swear on my life that ifyoudon’t find her, I will, and I can guarantee you that you’d rather be the one putting this motherfucker in handcuffs because if I get my hands on him, he will be leaving in a body bag.”
She pushed off the sofa and stormed down the hallway, leaving Sergeant Walker with her mouth opening and closing like a fish.
“Sergeant Walker,” I said, garnering her attention. “Do you have kids?”
Her head shook from side to side, telling me what I already knew.
“Then, with all due respect,” I responded, mocking her earlier sentiment. “Fuck off.”
I stood and followed Stella’s retreating footsteps and muted sobs down the hall. They had finished sweeping Charlie’s nursery, and I found Stella sitting in the rocking chair she and Charlie had frequented daily.
In a slow, swaying movement, she continued to rock. Inher hands, she clutched the outfit Ray had gotten made for Charlie’s party. I sat beside the rocker and placed my hands over hers.
“They’ll find her,” I reassured, unsure if I was doing so for my benefit or hers.
“What if they don’t?” she whispered, stuttering breaths making her words come out stilted and stiff. Her wracking sobs had slowed to a constant slow trickle of tears, but the aftermath had left her exhausted.
“Then we do,” I promised. “We’re going to get our girl back, I promise.”
Leaning in, I pressed my forehead against hers, gently brushing a strand of damp hair from her face and behind her ear. I felt warm drops hit my knees as her tears continued to flow. The intense pain and grief that overtook us was something I couldn’t describe.
It was a visceral and drowning emotion that left me feeling hollow. The only thing that could fill the gaping hole where something was missing was closure.
We would get Charlie back. I wouldn’t let these girls escape the fiery clutches of hell, only to be dragged back down into its suffocating depths.
TWENTY-NINE
stella
Twenty-four hours feelslike an eternity when part of your soul is missing. Minutes seemed to drag on, somehow morphing into hours. The sun rose and fell, but I couldn’t acknowledge its existence. A heavy blanket of gray settled over my senses, leaving only a dull ache where vibrant life used to be.
The moment I became a mother, I felt like the universe had broken off a piece of my essence, and it now lived and breathed outside of my body. There lived a primal part of me that yearned to protect that tiny piece of myself at all costs. Every ache, pain, and emotion that my child felt resonated through me in tandem.
The oppressive guilt of not having defended Charlie from the wickedness of the world consumed me. I felt suffocated in the weight of my grief. Every second stretched into an eternity, and the fear of not finding her soon gnawed at my insides.
