“Yes, Max. That’s exactly what I want,” I teased, nipping at his bottom lip.
He dropped his head back to look at the sky and let out a groan of frustration. I giggled lightly at his attempt at restraint and kissed the corner of his mouth, then his cheek, then right below his ear. He shivered, which caused me to smile against his skin.
I’d never felt so powerful as I did in this moment, having Max completely at the mercy of my touch. I felt a surge of confidence, a newfound sexiness coursing through me, thanks to him; I was ready to seize what I wanted.
He gripped my hips to keep me from grinding myself against what I could only ascertain was his impressively large cock. Pulling me close, he dropped his forehead to mine in an intimate gesture that had me feeling vulnerable.
His eyes locked onto mine, a weight in their depths, before a heavy sigh escaped and his eyes fluttered closed. I hesitated as the self-deprecating thoughts came rushing back in. Did he not want me?
Thoughts swarmed my senses as I started to become engulfed in an overwhelming panic.
Had I been making up the stolen glances in my head?
Had I imagined all the times that I’d caught him smiling at me over his morning coffee?
Was I dreaming, and this was all a one sided infatuation?
Sensing my spiraling thoughts before I even had a chance to vocalize them, Max coasted his hand up the side of my throat and forced my gaze to his.
“No.” he said simply, as if that would calm the raging voices in my head shouting all the words I’d worked so hard to erase from my psyche.
Useless. Whore. Trash. Unloveable. Damaged.
I scrambled from his lap and he had the good sense to let me go. I brushed my fingers through my mussed hair and straightened my camisole that had come untucked. Tugging my cardigan tighter around my frame, I attempted to make myself smaller as I searched for the strength to speak.
“Please take me home now.”
I couldn’t meet his gaze, anticipating the condescending pity in his eyes. I couldn’t stand to see his lips, still swollen from our kiss, even though I could still feel the ghost of his touch.
I turned in the direction we had come, not waiting for his response, my gaze remaining fixed on the ground as I stumbled back to his truck in the dark.
I heard him gathering the remnants of our picnic and tossing them into the basket quickly. The snap of the quilt echoed through the quiet cove as he hastily snagged it from the ground and it whipped through the air. Just as I reached the passenger door of the truck, his hand darted out to grab hold of my wrist, stopping me in my tracks.
“Stella… let me explain.”
“There’s nothing to explain. I understand, Max. I comewith a lot of baggage. Thank you for trying to set up a fun date, but I don’t need your pity.”
“Pity?” He asked incredulously as his eyebrows furrowed together.
Before I had the sense to know what was happening, Max had me pressed up against the cool metal of his passenger door and had his arms bracketed beside my head. The move should have scared me, but even in my self-deprecating state, I knew that Max wouldn’t do anything to hurt me.
I heaved in a gulping breath as my pupils blew wide. Even if this was one-sided, I found him attractive, and his rough handling was an aphrodisiac. He tilted my chin up, his fingers brushing against my skin, forcing our eyes to meet. He then leaned down, his breath warm against my lips as he spoke.
“I don’t fuckingpityyou, Trouble.”
He slid his nose across my jaw and down my neck, causing goosebumps of pleasure to erupt in his wake.
“Make no mistake, Stella Jacobsen, the reason I stopped was absolutely not because I fucking pity you,” his lips coasted the shell of my ear and I involuntarily shivered with desire. “I stopped because the first time I fuck you will not be in the middle of the woods on a blanket my mother hand stitched.”
His grin was feral as he gripped my hip bone and drove his knee between my legs. I gasped and felt a tingle of need shoot down to the apex of my thighs, right where he’d placed his knee. I felt his erection pressing into my thigh as I let out a breathy moan.
“Stella, I want you. I wantallof you. To be completely honest, I want Charlie in my life just as much. I want your morning bed head, your mid day laughter, and your night time yawns.”
He placed his callused hands on the side of my neck, brushing his thumb across my jaw. I fought the urge to close my eyes. “I want to make you happy, but I need to be able to touch you without you flinching every time. I need you to let me in to be the man you deserve. I need all of you without reservations.”
He paused, making sure I was paying attention to his heated words. “When you can give me all of you, I’m going to ruin you for any other man. I’m going to make you come so hard there’s never any chance of anyone else’s touch igniting desire in your veins. I will love you and Charlie so fiercely that I will be forever embedded in your souls.”
A whimper fell from my lips as I felt a line of tears gather on my lower lashes. His declaration had hit on all the sore spots of my soul. All I had ever wanted was to feel cherished, loved, and safe. Max was doing all he could to show me that he meant every word that crested his lips.
