Sierra's jaw visibly dropped.
"Trust me, Anderson won't mind," James said. "It'll just take a minute."
Now he calls him Anderson."Of course." I got up and followed James away from my desk.
"Fight Club has connections," I heard Tavon say as I walked away.
It felt like everyone's eyes were on me as I followed James to his office. This kind of thing was exactly what I hadn't wanted. The other marketing interns were probably looking me up right now. I'd get back to my desk in a minute and they'd all know. I was going to tell them eventually. But I wanted to make friends with them first. I didn't want them to judge me. Shouldn't they though? The only reason I got this job was because of James.
He opened up his office door for me and I walked in past him. The pizza box was open on his desk and a few slices were missing. My anger and self doubt had made me hungry after barely eating anything for lunch. I grabbed a slice and sat down in one of the chairs by his desk, not making eye contact with him.
"How's your first day going?" James sat down on the edge of his desk directly in front of me. It was the same place he had beensitting when Isabella was there. Luckily she had been standing or I'd want to burn the chair.
"Really great. They're all calling me Fight Club because of my black eye that your lunch date, who you stood me up for, gave me."
He laughed but quickly stopped when he saw my facial expression. "She actually came to apologize about that. And for the surprise appearance at the party."
"Maybe she should have talked to me instead of you then. You seriously couldn't take two seconds to tell me you couldn't make lunch?"
"I thought she came to make a scene. It wouldn't be the first time. And now I have you here to worry about embarrassing too. It seemed like the best option was to hear her out."
"So is that how it's going to be our whole lives? You're just constantly going to put her first?" I knew it wasn't fair. He had talked to her in part to avoid her embarrassing me. But I was pissed. And hadn't he just embarrassed me? He knew I wanted to keep things professional here and he just completely threw that out the window because I asked him if we could wait and talk after work. He hadn't gotten his way so he disregarded everything I had asked him not to do. He was being ridiculous.
"No. She actually came to tell me that she wants me to be happy. She won't be bothering us anymore."
"Well, I'm glad you got the closure you needed. I thought the divorce had handled that. But what do I know?"
"You're seriously upset that I talked to Isabella for a few minutes?" He crossed his arms in front of his chest. "You know how I feel about her. There's no reason to be upset."
"I'm allowed to be upset! You can't control my emotions when you control everything else."
"I don't..."
"Why am I here, James? I applied to dozens of places. How could I not have heard back from a single one? What did you do?"
"I thought you'd want to work with..."
"I would have told you if this was what I wanted. It's not. I know that everyone is going to judge me when they find out we're together. Which you kind of just gave away. I needed to do this on my own. I want to be independent. I don't want to have to rely on you for everything."
"Penny..."
"You don't respect me." I stood up and threw the rest of my pizza slice in the trashcan. "At all. Now can we please just talk about this at home like a normal couple?"
His mouth was set in a straight line. I knew I had hurt him. But for one second I wanted to focus on what I wanted instead of what he did. Ever since we had moved here I had tried to give him everything he needed. I had been hyper focused on making him happy. And I had completely forgotten about what I wanted somewhere along the way. He couldn't always get his way. This was my life too.
Eruption - Chapter 13
Monday
I sat down on a bench outside of the Tavern on the Green. In less than two weeks we'd be saying our vows under the huge tree with the shimmering lanterns that I loved so much. I wasn't having second thoughts. Not for a second. I loved James with every fiber of my being. Sometimes I just wished he could hear me.
During the orientation meeting I had thought about how much I owed him. But I had given up a lot for him too. And sometimes I worried that I lost myself when I moved here. He was complicated and unique and all consuming. And I was just me. It was easy to feel invisible. Which wasn't really fair to say. If anything, James was the first person that had ever truly seen me. How could I feel seen and invisible at the same time?
I closed my eyes and tried to focus on the feeling of the sun on my face. I was just frustrated because school was my thing and Hunter Tech was his thing. And now I didn't have a thing. I didn't want to follow him around like a lost puppy. Maybe I was having an identity crisis.
I pulled my legs up on the bench and hugged my knees to my chest. I took a deep breath and opened my eyes, staring at the big tree again. In twelve days I'd be Mrs. Hunter. That was a new identity. It felt like my heart was beating out my chest. I leaned forward and put my elbows on my knees and my head between them. It felt like I couldn't breathe. It was all too much change too soon. I was never good at change and this was a million things at once. I had tried to tell James that it was too much but he hadn't listened. I put my face in my hands.
"I thought I might find you here."
