"Yeah. Bad." He rubbed the back of his neck with his hand.
"Well that's why he broke up with me. Since you wanted to know."
"Because we almost had sex?"
"No, because he didn't trust me either." I didn't realize how much I had jeopardized my character. I had slept with my professor. I had almost slept with Tyler. I had slept with my professor some more. I had kissed a mere stranger in the afternoon. And then I had fucked Tyler at night. I had lied to everyone, including my best friend, to hide all the terrible things I had done.What is wrong with me?
I felt so numb. I thought sleeping with Tyler would make me feel better, but I only felt worse. I felt sleazy.
"I'm sorry," Tyler said. "I didn't know that's why you guys broke up."
"Yeah, well." I shrugged. "Apparently I'm not very trustworthy. So, if you'll excuse me."
"That's not what I meant."
"Then what did you mean?!"
"Damn it, Penny, I don't want to get hurt again."
That was it. That was why Professor Hunter wasn't talking to me. I had hurt him. I had hurt him and I had hurt Tyler. "I don't want to hurt you."
"I know. But you have. Over and over again."
"I'm sorry." I had hurt so many people. I was horrible.
Tyler took a step toward me. He put his hands on my shoulders. "Penny, tonight was amazing. You're worth waiting for. And I'll be waiting when you're ready." He grabbed his mask off the floor and put it back on. "Let's go back to the party." He intertwined his fingers with mine.
"Tyler?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you think it's possible to be in love with two people at the same time?"
"I don't know. All I know is that I don't want to be one of two. Put yourself in my shoes. How would that make you feel?"
My mind flashed to Professor Hunter's wife. "It sucks."
"What do you mean?"
"Itwouldsuck is what I meant."
"Penny?"
"Really. I just meant it would suck."
"Okay. Sorry, I thought you were saying that that asshole was cheating on you. If that was true I'd..."
"Tyler." I touched his chest. "I don't want to talk about him. It's you. I want to be with you. And I'll prove it to you. I don't know how long it will take, but I'll earn your trust back. Thank you for my birthday gift."
Tyler leaned down and kissed me. It was soft and gentle. It felt a lot more like a goodbye kiss than a we-just-had-sex kiss.
"Come on, let's get back," he said. "There's a cake somewhere with your name on it."
Addiction - Chapter 5
Friday
Melissa and I blew out the candles on our cake. The house was full of people. I barely knew any of them but they all cheered for us.
