She had slept very poorly indeed as was evidenced by the paleness of her skin and the heavy bags under her eyes.
“Wait. Before we go, there is something I want to do.” She reached for the correspondence box again and retrieved a clean slip of paper.
As Lucy packed the toilette box and some final things, Frederica sat down at a writing bureau in the corner of the room and began to write, spending a lot of time dwelling on what she should say. When it was done, she folded up the paper and slipped it under the door that connected her chamber to Allan.
We never even used that door.
Frederica breathed deeply, stopping any tears from falling as she turned her back on the door.
“It’s time,” she said to Lucy.
Together, they made their way out of the chamber and down the stairs, carrying the two bags Frederica was to take with her. In the entrance hall, they found Mrs. Long who was pacing restlessly.
“My Lady, I have ensured the carriage is arranged for you.”
“Thank you for your kindness, and I don’t just mean today,” Frederica said softly. “I am truly grateful for all that you have done for me.”
Mrs. Long smiled sadly as did Lucy at her side.
“We are only sorry to be losing you,” Mrs. Long whispered.
“Can I ask something more of you?” Frederica said softly.
“Of course.”
Frederica took a minute to go on. She had already asked Lucy to keep her destination a secret, in case Lord Wetherington should come calling, but she needed to go a step further.
It would take a day or two for the news of her disappearance and the following annulment to get out into the ton, and in the meantime, she didn’t want Lord Wetherington to come anywhere near Allan.
“Watch over Allan,” she pleaded.
“I always do,” Mrs. Long assured her.
“I know you do, but I mean… really watch over him. If there are any strangers who come to the house — anyone whose presence in which he is particularly uneasy — would you ensure that he is not left alone, please?” Her strange question made Mrs. Long and Lucy exchange an odd look, but they agreed all the same, nodding. “Thank you. Thank you so much. Now, I must part.”
She was helped into the carriage by Mrs. Long and Lucy. Her bags were packed at the rear of the carriage though she didn’t leave in a hurry. Frederica spent what felt like five full minutes staring up at the house, committing each part of it to her memory though it was not enough.
What she really wanted was to see Allan again, to commit every part of him to her memory, but that opportunity had now gone. If she was to keep him safe, then she had to ensure their paths didn’t cross again.
“Goodbye, Allan,” she whispered into the air. With a final wave to Mrs. Long and Lucy, she climbed into the carriage.
The door was closed, and the carriage pulled her away.
Much as Honora had done, she leaned out of the window, trying to keep the house in sight for as long as she possibly could. Her eyes tarried on the window of Allan’s bedchamber, but the curtains remained firmly closed.
CHAPTERTWENTY-FOUR
Allan woke with a start. He could have sworn he had heard the distant neigh of a horse — maybe the clack of a carriage wheels — but then it was over, and he presumed it had only been in his imagination.
He ran his hands over his face, trying his best to dispel the awful nightmares which had plagued him all night. In those dreams, Frederica had truly left him. He’d arisen to find she was already gone, he had no chance of turning back the clock and stopping it, and he would have to approve the… annulment.
He slowly sat up, shifting his night shirt on his shoulders uncomfortably and placing his feet on the floor with a heavy sigh.
“She’ll be here,” he whispered to himself, needing to believe it, needing to know there was one last chance.
He pulled himself up from the bed to change. He didn’t bother ringing for his valet but changed himself, often stopping and staring down at the floor, thinking of the awful argument they’d had the night before. Words Frederica had uttered repeated in his mind, tormenting him.
“I do not love you, Allan. I don’t want to be here anymore.”
