“Miss Balfour ,” she began again, as she pulled away from Evelina’s embrace once more, “you’re the only one who’s ever shown me what a mother’s love feels like.” Through tearful sobs, her heartfelt wish spilled forth. “I-I honestly wish you were my mother. If you w-were, you wouldn’t have to leave me.”
“Oh, my darling girl…”
Gabriel did not know what else to do other than watch helplessly as Evelina struggled to soothe his daughter.
“My dear Eliza, though I may not be your mother, I will always be here for you, all right?” Eliza’s sobs grew louder, but she pushed on. “If not a mother, you can always consider me a sister, and you are always welcome in my heart and my home. You can visit me whenever you wish.”
Gabriel had seen enough. He stepped back from the door, his daughter’s words weighing heavily on him. As he walked away from the library, a sense of utter despair enveloped him.
The realization that he couldn’t fulfill Eliza’s wishes pierced through him like a dagger, leaving him raw and exposed to the depths of his self-loathing.
I cannot marry her. I simply cannot.It’s too late now, anyway.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
“Another round for this table, quickly!”
Gabriel’s voice cut through the din of the tavern, his words slightly slurry as he drank from his glass, then waved it frantically in the air to signal the barmaids.
“Your Grace,” The concerned voice of his friend sat across him, irritated him as the man intercepted his hand suddenly, pulling it down. “As a duke, this behavior is unseemly. Especially with the sort of reputation you have created for yourself. You would only?—”
Gabriel’s eyes blazed with a fierce intensity as he ripped his hand away from Theodore’s, his jaw clenched in frustration. “I care not for what society deems proper. Tonight, I drink.”
The duke’s expression only softened in the face of his wrath, worry etched into his features. “I have never seen you like this,Gabriel. You’re on a dangerous path. A couple more drinks and you’ll be blind drunk.”
He gestured towards their surroundings. “Do you really wish for others to see you in such a state?” he shook his head and leaned forward, “How about we take this back to your estate? There, you could-”
“You’d rather my dear daughter saw me in such a state than a couple, random strangers?” Gabriel’s laughter, tinged with bitterness, echoed through the tavern as he downed the last of his glass.
“I said, another round! Now!”
With a resounding slam of his hand on the table, his demand reverberated through the room. Several eyes shifted in his direction from the other tables, and he met them swiftly with the deadliest glares he could muster.
Theodore leaned back, his gaze pleading. “Gabe, think of what you’re doing. This is not like you.”
“And who’s to say so?” Gabriel’s eyes flickered with a mixture of defiance as he met his friend’s gaze. “I have vowed to not be a man shackled by expectations, haven’t I? Let the drinks flow, for tonight, I drown my sorrows in oblivion.”
He could already feel the wine’s warmth coursing through his veins, a welcomed sensation amidst the turmoil of his heart.He savored the fleeting escape it offered; the alcohol worked its magic, a sense of weightlessness enveloping him slowly.
In the haze of intoxication, he felt a semblance of control, a fleeting illusion of being able to dictate his thoughts. Yet, beneath the facade of serenity, the tempest of heartbreak still raged below, forcing each further sip of wine to act as an desperate attempt to drown out all memories of Her once and for all.
Tonight, she does not exist.
She never came into my life. I never found out about the wedding. None of it is real.
“Gabriel, please, just tell me what’s wrong. I’m really worried about you.” Theodore’s voice cut through the alcohol-induced haze once more, his concern palpable.
Avoiding his friend’s gaze, Gabriel ran his finger over the rim of his glass. “I appreciate your worry, indeed.”
“Gabriel—”
Before Theodore could utter another word, the barmaid approached, the tray in her hands a harbinger of more intoxicating relief.
“At last! More wine, my friend!”
Gabriel’s hand shot out like lightning, seizing the first bottle that landed on the table. In one swift motion, the amber liquid cascaded into his glass, then disappeared down his throat, leaving him wincing.
“Gabriel Jones!”
