“It’s not for me to say what anyone deserves or doesn’t deserve,” Eleanor said.
“But I have been unkind to you,” the dowager duchess said. “I would go so far as to say that I’ve been cruel, as a matter of fact. You can’t have enjoyed it.”
“I can tell that you dislike me,” Eleanor admitted. “That’s probably understating it, really. I believe you despise me.”
“I don’t,” the dowager duchess said. “I’m sorry I made you feel as if I did. And I understand your reasons for feeling that way.”
“You thought I was trying to ruin the arrangement between the duke and Lady Hannah.”
“Not that you were trying to. Merely that you weregoingto. It wouldn’t have been your fault, but I saw the way my son looked at you, Lady Eleanor. He felt things for you that he never felt for Lady Hannah. His father made that arrangement for him, and I wanted him to see it through. You can understand that, I think?”
“I can,” Eleanor said. “And you don’t have to worry. I’m sure you aren’t. I’m sure that today’s events have put all your fears to rest on that score. The two of them will marry, and you don’t have to fear my involvement in his life ever again. Is that what you wanted to speak to me about?”
“In a sense,” the dowager duchess said. “I’m not surprised to hear you say the things you’re saying, Lady Eleanor, but I think you may have the wrong idea. I don’t know what’s happening—I don’t know how today’s rumor got started. But what I do know is this—my son is not going to marry Lady Hannah.”
“I thought you wanted him to.”
“I do. I did. I can’t want that anymore. I understand my son better after the past few days than I ever have before, and I can see that he isn’t just being difficult and stubborn by turning his back on a possible courtship with and engagement to Lady Hannah. It goes farther than that. He has feelings that can’t be ignored, and I have to take that into account.”
What did that mean? Eleanor wasn’t sure. Was the dowager duchess saying that the duke didn’t love Lady Hannah—and that, as his mother, she had finally understood that? Eleanor thought perhaps that was what she meant. But if that were true…
“Why are you telling me this?” she asked.
“Because I thought you might want to know,” the dowager duchess explained. “And because I owed you an apology after the other day. I was worried about my son’s future, but that was a matter I should have sorted out with him, not with you. I’m sorry for not realizing that at the time. And I also want you to know that everything that’s going around now about his engagement being finalized, about a date being chosen, is nothing more than rumor. I know Nicholas well enough to know that he simply isn’t going to marry Lady Hannah. If his mind wasn’t changed after all the conversations he and I have had about this, there’s no chance he changed his mind all on his own. It can’t have happened.”
Eleanor wanted to believe what she was hearing. She wanted to think that the dowager duchess was right, that it was all just a misunderstood rumor that she didn’t have to listen to. But she couldn’t be entirely sure.
She couldn’t let herself take a chance on entrusting her heart to the duke again. She had allowed herself to fall for him once, and it had crushed her. She knew there was nothing good to be gained by making that mistake again—the only thing that made sense now was to pull away from him.
“Maybe he isn’t marrying Lady Hannah,” she said. “I suppose I’ll have to wait and see what happens just like everyone else.”
She hurried away before the dowager duchess could say anything further. She wasn’t going to be able to trust the dukeor anyone close to him now, and she didn’t want to make the attempt. The whole thing seemed to her to be a recipe for pain and disaster, and Eleanor felt as if she had already suffered more than enough.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
Eleanor suspected she would see the duke around every corner for the rest of the day. She kept looking for him, anticipating his presence. But she never saw him, and by the time dinner was served, she had begun to wonder if he had simply left the party. How else could she account for this prolonged absence of his?
But no—there he was, sitting at the end of the table. Perhaps he would turn toward her, pay her some attention—if he meant to do that, she decided, she didn’t want to know about it. She didn’t want to be confronted with that moment. She turned and engaged her sister in conversation, even though she knew that by doing so she was distracting Marina from conversation with Jacob. It gave her the excuse she needed to not even look at the duke.
Soon enough, the meal came to an end. She left the table as soon as she was able to do so without being conspicuous and went into the ballroom, hoping that she would be able to lose herself in the dancing that was about to take place and that she wouldn’thave to worry about facing the duke here. Surely he would find something else to do with his time other than following her around.
And at first, it appeared that he would. She watched out of the corner of her eye as he entered the ballroom and walked directly over to Lady Hannah.
“What’s the meaning of all this?” he asked her, not troubling to keep his voice down.
Eleanor was surprised. There had been an idea in her mind that the duke might confront Lady Eleanor about today’s events, but she’d never imagined that he would do it this publicly. Surely, he didn’t wish to make a scene?
But he was frowning at her, clearly waiting for an answer. Lady Hannah took a step away from him. “If you wish to discuss things, perhaps we can return to somewhere a bit quieter,” she suggested in a low hiss.
“We can have our discussion right here,” he told her firmly. “I want to know what you have to say for yourself, Lady Hannah. Did you tell everyone at this party that we had set a date for our engagement?”
“I’m not going to do this publicly!”
“Lady Hannah, I don’t think you want to marry me at all.”
“And what would make you think such a foolish thing as that, may I ask?”
“Because I heard you talking to Phineas,” he said. “I know what your true feelings are.”
