“Yes, I assumed that was the case when I didn’t see you,” he agreed. “I looked for you again at the midday meal, but you weren’t there either.”
“That’s right,” Eleanor said coolly. “I wasn’t.”
“Lady Eleanor—have I done something to anger you?”
“How could you possibly have done anything to anger me when you and I hardly know one another?” she asked. “We’ve only had a few conversations, Your Grace. You mustn’t go thinking that the time we’ve spent in one another’s company has been so important as to leave me angry with you when something happens between the two of us.”
“Has something happened between the two of us, then?” He seemed concerned. “If it has, Lady Eleanor, rest assured that I am unaware of it. I’ve only ever desired a good relationship with you. But now I can’t help feeling as though you’re avoiding me.”
“It’s the week of my sister’s wedding,” she said. “I’m not avoiding you, Your Grace. I simply have many things on my mind, and I can’t forget about those things in order to turn my attention to frivolities.”
He looked a little uncertain. “We never finished the conversation we started last night,” he said. “That’s the reason I was looking for you. I thought it would serve us well if we finished thatdiscussion—if we spoke about what the future might hold for the two of us.”
“I don’t see how there can be any future for the two of us.”
“Lady Eleanor, please—if this is about the celebration today, about the rumors that are going around?—”
She held up a hand. “I really don’t wish to discuss it,” she told him. “Just let me say that I don’t appreciate being toyed with. Whatever happens, I hope you’ll be very happy. And I hope that Lady Hannah will be very happy as well.”
“Lady Eleanor, you must hear me.”
But she’d had enough. Eleanor took a quick step backward, anxious to distance herself from him. “Don’t trouble me further, Your Grace,” she said. “You and I have been through all I care to go through. I don’t want to spend any more time on this when we both know that there’s nothing in it, and frankly, I don’t want to be inappropriate to Lady Hannah. She may not always have been especially kind to me, but she deserves better than that sort of treatment.”
“But if you would only let me explain.”
“No. I don’t want you to explain. I can’t trust anything that you might say to me right now, and I don’t wish to be misled any further than I already have. Take your leave of me, Your Grace, and do not approach me again if you ever cared for me at all.”
What could he do? It was such a firm request, and she knew he didn’t wish to disrespect her or dishonor her wishes. She knew it was going to work. Still, when he frowned and backed away, she didn’t feel the sense of triumph she’d hoped for. Instead, it was a moment of sadness. There was a part of her, she suddenly understood, that had really hoped he would protest. There was a part of her that had wanted him to fight back and to insist on telling her why she was wrong to push him away, why she shouldn’t doubt him.
I wouldn’t have let him. If he had tried, I would have turned away. This was the only way it could have ended.
And it had needed to end.
Still, she couldn’t get past her feelings about the whole mess. Not yet. It still felt as if there was something unsaid, something yet to be discovered. Eleanor sighed. This couldn’t end too soon. She was ready to get everyone out of her house so that at last she would be able to stop thinking about romance, marriage, and the Duke of Nightingale. She was losing her sister this week, and she was likely to be forced into an arrangement she didn’t want for herself, but right now those problems seemed less dire than they ever had before. If only she could escape from the quagmire of her current predicament, she would nearly welcome what was to come.
She turned and hurried down the hall. If she tried, she might be able to make it back to the sanctuary of her bedroom before anyone saw her. She would come out again for the evening’s festivities, of course, but the last thing she wanted was tobe pulled into another social situation with the duke and his friends. If she had to watch him with Lady Hannah, she thought her heart might break.
This is exactly what Phineas has been going through. No wonder he’s been having such a difficult time of it lately. I should really try to find him and spend time alone with him. He’s probably the only person who can truly understand how I’m feeling right now.
She rounded a corner—and found herself face to face with the dowager duchess. Inwardly, she groaned—this couldn’t be happening at a worse moment. “Excuse me,” she said, trying to skirt around the dowager.
“Wait,” the lady said. “Lady Eleanor, please, wait a moment.”
Eleanor closed her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she said. “This really isn’t a good time for me.”
“No, I’m quite sure it isn’t, but please. I implore you. Grant me just a moment of your time—I believe you’ll be glad you did.”
Eleanor found that hard to believe, but she steeled herself and turned to face the dowager duchess, nonetheless. “What can I do for you, Your Grace?”
“It isn’t a question of what you can do for me, but of what I can do for you,” the dowager duchess said. “I see you running off inquite a hurry, and I wondered whether I might speak to you—perhaps to put your mind at ease about some things.”
“I’m not sure that will be possible,” Eleanor said.
“You haven’t the time to speak?”
“I’m not sure you can put my mind at ease.”
“That was certainly blunt.” The dowager duchess didn’t seem offended or taken aback. “I suppose I deserved it,” she added.
