“In part,” Daniel admitted.
“And is this why you so suddenly changed your mind about marriage?” Evan pressed.
Daniel sighed, bending forward to hold his head in his hands. “For years, I did not seek out marriage for the same reason that I am now seeking a bride who does not care too much for me. I thought it would be kinder to avoid marriage altogether.” He hesitated. “Then, I thought of all I have built for my family and realized that it means nothing without a legacy of some kind, to comfort my mother and sister when I, too, am gone. Idohope to have children, to carry that on, and to distract Caro and Mother. Girls, of course.”
“But girls would not inherit,” Evan pointed out.
Daniel shrugged. “I would petition the Royal Court to change the inheritance, or I would leave everything to you and your children, whenever you have them. At least, then, I would know that my own family would be well looked after.”
“And what if your father’s sickness does not claim you? What if you live to be ninety-five, burdened with a wife you do not even like very much?” Evan asked. “Would that not be a disservice to you and Joanna? You cannot act on what youthinkmight happen when there is no proof that you shall succumb to the same fate.”
Daniel turned to look at his cousin. “Look through the family history, Evan. You will see the proof. I believe there have only been two or three men of my line who have escaped this fate, and I have… this feeling that I am not destined to be one of the lucky ones.”
“Then live boldly!” Evan urged, sadness glittering in his eyes. “If itisthe older Miss Wilson that you favor, then pursue her!”
“I said it was not,” Daniel muttered.
“And I do not believe you.” Evan tutted. “Do not waste however many years you might have. You did not let your fear stop you from traveling the world, so why should you let it stop you from loving just as freely? I did not think I would find love, but it found me anyway, and I should hate to think that it might be right in front of you, and you are going to ignore it because you are scared.”
“I am not scared,” Daniel shot back. “I am being conscious of someone else’s feelings. You saw Mother when Father died. You heard her screams, saw her pain—saw it all. We both thought it would kill her, too. I will not be responsible for making someone’s heart break that way.”
Evan got up abruptly and began to walk around the square of the walled gardens, following the white gravel pathways between flowerbeds that were just budding, waiting for the true warmth of spring. At the fountain in the center, he picked up one of the white pebbles and dropped it into the pool, watching it splash and ripple. He stood with his back to Daniel, but Daniel could see the slight shake of his shoulders, as if he was trying his best to control his emotions.
At length, Evan came back, his expression calmer. “So, you are not utterly besotted with Phoebe, or you are but you do not want to be so you do not have to worry about breaking her heart?”
“I am not besotted with Phoebe,” Daniel replied, too quickly.
Evan sat down once more. “In that case, you ought to put more of your efforts into wooing Joanna, for if I believe that you are not interested in her and are, instead, interested in her sister, then I imagine Joanna will begin to think the same thing.” He paused. “However, if you do feel something for Phoebe, pursue that instead, while you can. Do not be afraid, for she has lost people, too, and I would wager good money that she would rather have one more day with those shehas lost than never have loved or been loved by them at all.”
“I do not feel anything for Phoebe,” Daniel insisted, more to convince himself than Evan, though he had a feeling he was not successfully persuading anyone.
Evan shrugged. “Well then, you know what you must do.”
“Yes, I suppose I do,” Daniel replied.
From now on, he had to put all thoughts of Phoebe to the very back of his mind, burying them deep, where they could not surface again. Instead, he had to focus on Joanna.
So, why did that sound like it would be easier said than done?
CHAPTERSIXTEEN
That night, Phoebe spent the entirety of the ball at the periphery of the room, watching everyone else enjoy themselves. Her ankle was still slightly swollen, and Matilda would not hear of her trying to walk on it, though she supposed that watching from the periphery was not too different from how she usually spent a ball.
However, there was one difference that night: from her position, she could not intervene between Joanna and Daniel, and the latter seemed to be seizing his opportunity.
“He has asked me to dance again, at long last!” Joanna said, running over to inform Phoebe, though neglecting to ask permission.
Phoebe smiled. “That is nice.”
“That is all you have to say?” Joanna rolled her eyes. “Goodness, I would prefer a scolding to indifference.”
Ellen cast her twin a sharp look. “At least someonehasasked you to dance.” Her gaze drifted across the ballroom, and Phoebe knew she was searching for Jacob, but the unpleasant Baron was nowhere to be seen. “We shall watch you, I suppose.”
“Do be as envious as possible,” Joanna urged, grinning as she hurried back to the dance floor, where Daniel awaited her.
The smile on Daniel’s face as he welcomed Joanna’s return was a barb in Phoebe’s heart, for though she had tried to catch his eye several times since the ball began, he had not looked once in her direction. Evidently, he did not want to be reminded of the unexpected embrace they had shared in the gardens… and why should he? It was not Phoebe he wished to court or marry.
Gather yourself,Phoebe chided herself inwardly, feeling foolish for seeking a gaze from a gentleman. It was girlish and, quite frankly, beneath her. All of those silly romantic ideals were for the freshly debuted and Anna, not someone who had vowed to be an eternal spinster. Yet, her traitorous heart whispered otherwise, pulsing with envy.
