“Well, you have that,” Colin assured him. “I’ll be beside you no matter what. But what did Lydia say when you told her she wouldn’t be coming with you on the trip? I know she was looking forward to going to Bath—she’s mentioned it to Nancy.”
Edward groaned inwardly. Though it was probably a good thing that his wife and his brother’s wife were friends with one another, it could be difficult sometimes the way they knew everything about one another’s lives.
“I haven’t mentioned it to her yet,” he admitted.
“Edward! We’re leaving this afternoon! She still thinks she’s coming with you? You have to speak to her about it at once.”
“I suppose I do,” Edward agreed. “I just don’t know what I’m going to say.”
“Well, you have to say something. Poor Lydia! I can’t believe you haven’t told her. You know, with the way you’ve treated her thus far, you really are very lucky she evenlikesyou, never mind love you.”
“That’s not a very nice thing to say.”
“Well, it’s the truth. I’m your brother, Edward, and you know I’ll always be on your side, but I can’t believe the way you treat her sometimes. I’m sure it must hurt her feelings. You really ought to be more careful if you even want to have a chance at deserving her love, you know.”
“I’d better go let her know that I don’t plan on taking her to Bath.” Edward got to his feet. “And you should finish that drink and go down to the carriage. We’ll be leaving soon. I don’t want to get a late start.”
“Yes, all right,” Colin agreed. He stood up too and set his drink down. “Be kind to her, will you?”
“I’m never unkind to her.”
“You’re cold. You’re thoughtless. I’m sure it does feel like unkindness to her. You need to remember that being told she’s not going on this trip is probably going to be hurtful to her, so you should deliver the news gently.”
“And where are you going?”
“I’m going to let Margaret know that you’ll be taking me on this trip instead of Lydia. She ought to be aware of that fact, and I don’t suppose you’ve told her.”
“What am I supposed to do? Tell Margaret that now, after everything, I think I might actually be having feelings for my wife?”
“I don’t know why that’s so difficult for you to admit out loud, but yes, that’s what I’m going to tell her.”
“I don’t want her to tell Lydia. I don’t want her to get Lydia’s hopes up.”
“I’ll make sure she doesn’t.”
“You can’t be sure what she’ll do.”
“I trust Margaret.”
Edward sighed. “Just go, Colin.”
This was difficult enough without the feeling that his brother was judging him at every turn.
He left the study and went to the conservatory, where he knew Lydia would be at this time of day. Sure enough, she was sitting there looking out of one of the large windows, a book in her lap. She had her finger on the pages as if she had just been reading but had set the book down to think about something.
Not for the first time, he was taken aback by her casual beauty. She was extraordinarily lovely, especially in the sunlight—it made her hair look golden. He recalled the way it had felt to abandon all his worries and to simply kiss her, and he wished he could just do that again. This would all be so much easier if he didn’t have to be sensible about it!
But Colin was right. The way he had thrown caution to the wind had been hurtful to Lydia. He wouldn’t allow that to happen again. He would proceed very carefully and make sure he knew what he was doing before he kissed her again—if he ever did.
He hoped he would.
“Lydia,” he said.
She turned and offered him a small smile. He realized that it had been a long time since he had seen her smile, and that realization made his heart ache. Things had been wrong between the two of them for such a long time now. Would this make matters even worse?
“You know I’m leaving for my trip to Bath today,” he said.
She nodded slowly. Her expression was immediately guarded, and Edward could see that she already knew something was amiss.
