“You look so sad,” Nancy noted, leading her into the sitting room. “Tell me everything. Would your lady’s maid like tea?”
“Violet?” Lydia asked.
Violet shook her head. Even though Lydia outranked Nancy, Violet’s shyness was much more apparent in front of someone she didn’t see often. She said nothing at all.
“She’s very quiet,” Nancy observed.
“She’s all right,” Lydia said. “Thank you for offering the tea. But I’ll take some.”
They sat down, and one of Nancy’s maids poured cups for the both of them.
When they’d each had a few sips and were suitably relaxed, Nancy prodded, “Tell me what’s been troubling you. I can see that you aren’t yourself.”
“I don’t know, Nancy. I’m afraid that Iammyself. I’m afraid this… shadow of the lady I once hoped to be might now be all that’s left of me.”
“But how can that have happened? When I saw you at the Hartford ball, you seemed happy enough.”
“I was happy. But… Nancy, you say it’s difficult for you to be apart from Colin even for one day out of the week. You tell me that while he’s away at the gentlemen’s club, you miss him.”
“Yes, I do.” Nancy seemed mystified. “Is that it? Do you miss Edward, being here with me?”
“Not exactly. I feel lonely all the time,” Lydia confided. “I never feel close to Edward.”
“But you two danced together at the ball! You seemed as if you were getting along so well!”
“I thought so too! But things have changed since then. We can’t even be around one another without feeling strange and awkward.”
Lydia hadn’t planned to talk about all this, but now that she was here, the words were pouring out of her. It felt good to open up, she realized. She had been keeping these things to herself for far too long, and it was a relief to confide in a friend.
“But how could everything have changed so quickly?” Nancy asked. “Did something happen?”
“Oh, something happened, all right,” Lydia said. “Something I never expected.”
“What?”
“He kissed me.”
* * *
“You kissed her?” Colin asked incredulously.
Edward sighed and took a long drink of his whiskey. “You don’t have to make it sound like that.”
“Like what?”
“That tone—you sound as if I just told you I slapped her or something. I didn’t hurt her.”
“Of course you hurt her,” Colin replied. “Letting her think all this time that you couldn’t possibly love her—well, I always knew that you’d find your way to it in the end, Edward. I think congratulations are due. I’m happy for you, Brother.” There was no happiness in his tone.
Edward shook his head. “You don’t understand,” he said. “I kissed her, but nothing has changed between us.”
“Dare I ask why not?” Colin demanded. “And I can only hope that it’s because she didn’t want to put up with your foolishness after everything you’ve put her through.”
“You know that isn’t the reason.”
“You rejected her.”
“I had to, Colin.”
