“Well, you’ve certainly done that.”
“Yes, I think my parents are very happy with this match,” Lydia agreed. “But I think they would have accepted almost anything. You know that I was to be married to Lord Worley, I suppose?”
“I didn’t know that,” Edward said.
She looked at him. “Does it bother you? That I had a relationship with another gentleman before you?”
“It doesn’t bother me a bit,” he told her.
But it was strange—itdidbother him. He knew who Lord Worley was. He’d seen him around. Lord Worley was a rake who cared not at all for the feelings of the ladies he romanced. The idea that such a man could have been intended for Lydia bothered him.
Also, he felt jealous. He had seen the way ladies threw themselves at Lord Worley.
“Why didn’t you marry him?” Edward asked.
“He broke our courtship,” Lydia said. “He told me he had fallen in love with someone else.”
“And were you heartbroken?”
She laughed. “Hardly,” she replied. “If anything, I was relieved. I didn’t care about him. I didn’t like him. I was happy to be rid of him. But my parents didn’t think much of it at all, and I think that’s why they married me to you as quickly as they did. They thought they had resolved my affairs, you see, and then everything fell apart right in front of them. After that, they would have taken anything.”
“So, I’mjust anything?”
“Of course, you aren’t—they couldn’t believe their luck when they were able to make an arrangement with the Duke of Westfrey! But I don’t know what you’re angry about,” she added. “You would have taken anyone too. You didn’t marry me out of any desire forme. You just wanted to have a wife. You’ve told me that countless times.”
It was true. And he knew he was out of line to feel angry. He forced himself to calm down.
“Lord Worley doesn’t know anything,” he said. “He was a fool to turn you down.”
“Well, perhaps he was. My mother would say that it was my fault. She would find some reason I failed to charm him sufficiently. But as I said, she’s very strict. It’s been the same all my life. I can’t remember a time before she was preparing me for marriage.”
“What was it like when you were a child, going through those preparations?”
“Constant practice,” Lydia said. “She would make me come to the table an hour before dinner so that I could practice folding and unfolding my napkin correctly and using the right silverware. When the meal was served, I had to do everything right. If I made a mistake, I was immediately dismissed from the table and sent to my room.”
“You weren’t allowed to finish eating?”
“Sometimes my governess would take pity on me and sneak some food upstairs, but she didn’t want to risk getting into trouble. So, no, usually I wasn’t able to finish. The idea was that hunger would teach me, and that I wouldn’t make the same mistake again. It did work, it made me very careful. For a time, I wouldn’t pick up a fork or spoon without stopping to think twice about whether I’d chosen the correct one. Eventually, table manners became second nature—it’s impossible to imagine now that I would make a mistake when it comes to dinner etiquette. I know it as well as I know my own name.”
“But—forgive me—you don’t strike me as particularly obedient,” he noted. “I would have thought that someone raised in such conditions would be afraid to be defiant, but that doesn’t describe you at all.”
“When I grew a little older, I came to realize that my parents’ authority was not absolute,” Lydia explained. “They could dismiss me from the table, but they couldn’t prevent me from going to the kitchen and finding food for myself later. The staff wouldn’t help me, but they wouldn’t act to stop me either—they couldn’t put their hands on me. Understanding that allowed me to rebel. From that moment on, I didn’t fear my parents. There was nothing they could do to me.”
“And that’s how you became the bold, audacious lady I know today,” Edward surmised.
Lydia laughed. “Is that how you would describe me? Bold and audacious?”
“If you’re being truthful, that’s how you would have to describe yourself, isn’t it?”
“Well, I suppose so,” she agreed. “You have a good point. I do insist on going after the things I want.”
“And I like that about you. So, tell me, once you felt free to defy your parents, what did you do? It’s hard to imagine you using that freedom to do things like act up at the dinner table.”
“No, not that,” Lydia said with a smile. “But I always liked to spend time outside. I wasn’t afraid of getting dirty. My mother didn’t think things like that were suitable for young ladies, so she would forbid me from going out of the house unless we had an appropriate activity, such as a picnic or a stroll, planned. But those weren’t the things I wanted to do. I preferred to go down to the stables and spend time with the horses.”
“Well, that isn’t very surprising,” Edward replied. “That’s the reason you chose to buy stallions, I suppose.”
“I have to thank you for accepting that,” she said. “You could easily have had them sent back.”
