“I don’t think so,” Madeleine said. She was sure if she closed her eyes, she would be inviting nightmares. If she could have guaranteed that she would dream of the fire, she might even have welcomed it because then, at least, she would have the strange comfort of hearing her parents’ voices. She could have used that comfort tonight, as odd as it was. It would have been familiar, at the very least.
But that dream didn’t come.
Instead, the visions that came to her that night were of the garden at Westcourt. In her dreams, she wandered the path, searching for the safety of the manor that was to be her new home. But no matter how long she looked for it, she was unable to find her way back.
CHAPTERTWENTY
“Now, remember,” Thomas’s mother said, “You’re to stand on theleftside of the altar. We want Lady Madeleine to be on the right side.”
“Mother, you’re being ridiculous. We’ll stand where the priest tells us to stand.”
“I’ve had a conversation with him. We do not want people staring at that scar and thinking about her curse when what theyshouldbe thinking about is what a happy occasion this is! You need to listen to me, Thomas. I know what’s best. You need to do as you’ve been instructed. If you don’t, I promise, this wedding will be a disappointment to you and a bad memory for her.”
“I don’t think you’ve taken the time to get to know her well enough to tell me what would cause her bad memories.”
“What are you talking about? I’ve spent plenty of time with Lady Madeleine! All the training we’ve done—”
“That’s what I’m talking about,” Thomas interjected. “Every time you’re with her, it’s nothing but training. You’ve taught her all about what it means to be a duchess, but have you learned anything abouther?”
“Really, Thomas, I don’t know what you’re getting at.”
“I think you’re more concerned about how all this will reflect onyou,Mother. I think that’s why you don’t want people to see her scar. You’re worried what they’ll think of you for allowing such a marriage.”
“I can’t believe you’re speaking to me this way on the morning of the wedding!”
“Neither can I,” Thomas said. “I should have done it much sooner.”
“Thomas!”
“It’s my own fault for letting things go this far. Letting you cover her up in so much fabric that she must feel as if no one wants to see her face at all.” He held up a hand. “I know what you’re going to say. You’re going to tell me that no onedoeswant to see her face.”
“I wasn’t going to say that.”
“Every action you’ve taken since the moment of my engagement has said that. You don’t need to say the words aloud because it’s obvious what you think. It’s obvious how you feel.” He shook his head. “She’s beautiful. And I’ve let you make her believe she has to hide.”
“We can discuss this after the wedding. Let’s just get through this day.”
There wasn’t much Thomas could say in response to that, so he nodded. After all, she would be wearing the gown his mother had chosen today. She would be standing where the priest indicated she should. There was no reason to make a fuss about any of it today.
The church was full of people. Word had spread about the wedding, and even though the announcements had gone out so late, people had turned out in droves to see it. Thomas supposed he couldn’t say he was surprised by that. The Duke and the cursed lady were two of the most widely discussed figures in all of London society, and to see them marry would no doubt be appealing.
Personally, Thomas wished the whole thing was over. He hadn’t been looking forward to the day, and he wasn’t anticipating watching Madeleine squirm and feel uncomfortable with the eyes of thetonupon her.
I should have done more.
He should have resisted his mother’s choice of wedding gown. He should have told Madeleine that she didn’t need to hide herself.
He would make sure to tell her those things in the future, and he hoped hearing it would help her gather more courage. But he also knew that she would always remember this, her wedding day. She would never forget that on the day she should have felt celebrated, she was made to feel ashamed.
I’m no better than the ladies who mocked her at the ball and when they saw us in town. I owe her better than that.
They arrived at the church and went inside. Thomas’s mother and sister took their seats while Thomas went to greet the priest. He took the position on the left-hand side of the altar, as his mother had indicated he should.
The room was full of quiet noises as people waited for the bride’s arrival.
Thomas found himself wondering if she might decide not to come at all.
How humiliating that would be!
