“Then that’s what we’ll do.”
Madeleine went to her window seat and looked out over the grounds of her uncle’s estate. “It’s strange to think this will be my last night here,” she said. “I’m ready for what lies ahead, but at the same time, the idea that I’ll be leaving Kellet and that somewhere else will be my home starting tomorrow—it’s a lot to take in. At least you’ll be with me, making it somewhat easier. But it’s still a strange thing to think about.”
“It is strange,” Horatia said. “But it’s not the first time you’ve left one home for another. At least this time, you get to do it under happier circumstances.”
“That’s true,” Madeleine agreed. She didn’t want to let herself think too much about the last time she’d had to leave a home behind. “At least this time, I’ll be moving toward something instead of away from something.”
“That’s a good way of thinking of it,” Horatia encouraged her.
“And I’ll look forward to seeing my new accommodations over at Westcourt,” Madeleine said. “Do you think my new bedchamber will be nice?”
“I'm sure it will be lovely,” Horatia said. “But you mustn’t be too surprised, my lady, if you don’t see very much of it at first.”
“What do you mean? Why wouldn’t I see much of my own room?”
“You’re marrying a gentleman with a very important title,” Horatia reminded her. “I’m sure he’s thinking about the future.”
“What do you mean?”
“He’s a duke,” Horatia said. “He’ll be wanting an heir, Lady Madeleine. And I have no doubt that that will be a priority for him. He’ll be expecting you to provide him with an heir. That will be what the first part of your marriage will be about, I’m certain.”
“Oh, but—no, we haven’t even talked about such things.” Madeleine felt a stab of anxiety. “He wouldn’t ask that of me so soon.”
“My lady, I wish I could say it was so, but you must realize that we’re talking about the most important reason for a gentleman of his station to marry at all. Of course he’s going to want an heir. I’m sure it’s something he’s discussed at length with the Dowager Duchess. He might even have discussed it with your uncle.”
“Uncle Joseph would have told me.”
“He might not have said anything. It’s possible he would have assumed that this was something you would take for granted. Really, you should have expected it, Lady Madeleine—I’m surprised to find thatyouare surprised by this. Can you honestly tell me you didn’t know it was something he would want?”
Madeleine sighed. If she was being honest with herself—and with Horatia—no, she couldn’t pretend this came as a surprise. Of course the Duke of Westcourt would have been planning for an heir. Of course that was something he would want—and Horatia was right that he would probably want it right away.
She felt a burst of anxiety more potent than any she had experienced so far. She had managed to keep this particular aspect of being married off her mind, but now she was thinking about it. The duty she would owe to him. He would expect to take her to his bed.
That was a frightening thought.
It was almost enough to make Madeleine want to go to her uncle’s room, knock on his door, and beg him to end the whole arrangement. If she could just stay at home for one year longer, maybe she would be ready to face such things.
But she could never ask Uncle Joseph something like that. It would be mortifying. And besides, even if she could, she knew what he would say. He would tell her the decision was made and that she was promised to the Duke. He would tell her there was no choice in the matter, and she would be getting married tomorrow anyway.
Besides, shehadalready agreed to it and didn’t want to disappoint him.
She pressed her hands over her face, trying not to think too hard about what tomorrow might bring.
“You’ll be all right, my lady,” Horatia soothed her. “Every young lady fears this day, but once you’re there, you’ll be all right.”
“I’m not ready to have a child.”
“You’ll feel differently when it happens, I promise.”
Madeleine took a deep breath and tried to force herself to feel calm. Horatia was probably right. After all, people did this every day. It was one of the most common, ordinary things in the world. It might feel frightening to her now, but there would come a day when she would look back on this moment and laugh at the fact that she had ever felt afraid. There would come a day when this would all feel like an overreaction.
It was just hard to see that from where she sat right now. It was hard to have any idea what she ought to expect from the future.
She allowed Horatia to help her into her nightclothes. She did her best not to look at the wedding gown hanging on the back of her wardrobe. When she had made the decision to wear that gown tomorrow, it made her feel powerful and excited about what was to come. Looking at it now, though, she could feel nothing but dread.
She let herself be guided to bed. Horatia turned down the covers, and Madeleine climbed in.
“Will you be able to sleep, my lady?” Horatia asked.
