“I know this is hard for you,” he said. “I know you’re afraid to give in to it. But I promise you, Madeleine, I know what I’m getting myself into. I know how I feel about you. I think I know how you feel about me.”
He took her hands. His were warm and big, and she felt reassured by his presence.
“I want you to hear me and understand this,” he said quietly. “I don’t know what life will bring. Neither of us can know that. Maybe we’ll die tomorrow.”
“I can’t risk—”
“You can’t take away that risk, Madeleine. There’s nothing you can do to ensure that everyone you love is safe all the time. You can’t do it. You do not have that power.”
She shuddered.
When he put it that way…
Of course she didn’t have that power. Of course nothing she did could ever make everyone safe. She could send Thomas away from Kellet and swear never to see him again, and he could still die in a carriage accident on the way home.
Anyone could die at any time.
And with a swooping sensation in her gut that felt like she was being uplifted, she realized that that had always been true. Her parents’ deaths, her siblings’ deaths—they really were just a meaningless tragedy. They hadn’t been caused by anything she had done.
It was a responsibility she would never have put on anybody else, and yet she had taken it upon herself for years.
He was smiling at her, and she returned his smile. “You’re right,” she said softly. “Of course you’re right.”
“Really? Just like that?”
“I’ve had trouble accepting it, but I think it’s true.”
“And even if it wasn’t true,” Thomas said, “even if your presence did have the power to cause my death—I would accept that, Madeleine. Because I’m in love with you. I would do anything for you. And my life isn’t complete while you’re not in it. I would rather die tomorrow than live a hundred years without you.”
“You can’t mean that.”
“I do. I know it’s a big thing to say, but it’s the truth.”
She closed her eyes.
“Tell me how you feel,” he urged her.
“I feel the same,” she said. “You know I do. I never wanted to leave you. It destroyed me to do it. I couldn’t believe I was forced to let you go like that. I would rather have done almost anything. But I felt I had to. And I dreamed you would come for me—of course I hoped for that. I thought that if there was even a chance at a reunion, you would come.”
“I wanted to come the very day you left,” he said. “My family had to force me to remain in bed. I was too weak to stand, but I would have run to your side nonetheless.”
“That’s why you’re here today?”
“Yes. I had no idea Lady Deborah would do the things she’s done, but I always meant to come here to try to meet with you. When I knocked at your door, and the butler answered, I heard the sounds of an argument and knew I had to get involved. That’s why I was inside and on my way to the sitting room when you opened the door to me.”
“I’m glad you came,” she said. “I told myself it didn’t matter to me that you hadn’t come for me—that it was even a good thing because I didn’t want to see you, and I didn’t want you to plead with me to come back. I told myself seeing you would only make it harder to stay away.”
“I hope seeing me has made it impossible for you to stay away,” he said firmly. “I don’t want you to stay away. I want you to come back to Westcourt with me. I want us to be together, Madeleine. You know that’s all I’ve wanted all this time. I want you to be my wife, with no more excuses and no more reason to run away. I want you to choose me over your belief in the curse. Can you do it?”
She looked him in the eyes.
Her heart felt clear and full, and, at that moment, she had absolutely no doubts or regrets.
“I can do it,” she said.
“I love you. More than anything.”
“And I love you too,” she assured him.”
