“It was because we were arguing. She was trying to make me be quiet.” Thomas’s anger was thrilling. She was afraid of how he might react—much as she despised Lady Deborah, she really didn’t wish violence upon her. But at the same time, it was exciting to see her husband get this stirred on her behalf. It was obvious to her how much he cared about her.
“She shouldn’t have done that,” he said darkly.
“It’s in the past. And it didn’t hurt that much.”
She felt him grow tense. He turned to look at Lady Deborah, and she had the feeling he was on the verge of doing something violent. Something that he might regret. She put a hand on his arm to help him remember where he was and calm himself down. “Keep your eyes on me, Thomas. Keep your hands on me. Don’t worry about her.”
He took a deep breath. “I can’t believe she would dare to put her hands on you…”
“I know. But remember, the constables are on their way now. She will answer for everything she’s done, so there’s really no reason for you to go after her for it. Try to stay calm. You’ll make nothing any better by reacting to her in that way.”
He nodded. “You’re right,” he said. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I know I won’t make things any better that way.”
“I want to know ifyou’reall right,” she said and reached up to cup his face between her hands. “You were so ill the last time I saw you. I was so worried.”
“You worried about me?”
“Of course I did. You mean the world to me. And for a moment, I actually thought you had died. I was devastated, Thomas. I was so frightened. I don’t know how I lived through that moment, seeing you fall to the floor, thinking you were dead…”
His hand cupped the back of her neck. “I can’t imagine,” he murmured.
“It was the worst moment of my life.”
“But you still left.”
“I thought I had to,” she whispered. “I thought it was the curse, catching up with you at last. When the physician said you would live, all I could think was that I had been given a second chance. I could still walk away and keep you safe from me. That’s why I left. I had to go so that you could live.”
“You really believed that.”
“Of course I did. It made too much sense to ignore.”
“Do you see now why you were wrong?” he asked intently. “Why you should never have gone away? You shouldn’t have allowed the curse to sway you. I know what you thought,” he said. “I know you believed your curse was to blame for what happened to me. But can you see now that it wasn’t?”
“But the poison was sent to me. If it hadn’t been for me, it would never have been in your cup at all.”
“It wasn’t because of you,” Thomas repeated. “You heard what she said, Madeleine. This all started long before you entered my life. My father promised hers that we would marry to settle his debts, and that had nothing to do with you. And then that promise was broken—against my knowledge—when I paid the money that was owed. That didn’t have anything to do with you either. Yes, she was angry to find that you had come into my life, but if it hadn’t been you, I feel sure it would have been someone else. There was nothing that could have been done about that. She was always going to come for me eventually. It is not because of you, and I want you to stop blaming yourself.”
She nodded. “I have to admit—-that makes sense.”
“I know it does.” He smiled at her. “I’ve always known, Madeleine. I’ve never held you responsible for any of these things. Your family’s death, and now this…you’ve had tragedy in your life. You’ve suffered. But you’ve never deserved it. I’ve always known it wasn’t your fault.”
“Maybe this wasn’t my fault,” she said. “But that doesn’t mean the curse isn’t real, Thomas. My parents were still killed. I’m not sure I can let go of what happened. You know how hard I’ve tried to tell myself that it’s all right to be with you. And you know how I struggle to believe it.”
“I know,” he assured her. “I know you’re trying hard.”
“I don’t want to come back with you and find that I can’t be as committed as you need me to be. I’m afraid I’ll run away again the next time something scares me. And you don’t deserve that.”
“You don’t think I would risk it?” he asked her quietly.
“No, that’s not what I meant.”
“What did you mean?”
“You shouldn’t have to.”
“Didn’t I tell you already that you were worth it to me?” he asked. “Didn’t I tell you I would risk anything for you?”
Tears tracked down her cheeks. She nodded.
