In hindsight, it had probably been evident for years, and he simply hadn't noticed until recently.
With a low groan, James heaved himself upright and wandered into the hall. There were over seventy rooms in this house - Edwin claimed it was closer to a hundred - but James had never bothered to count. Most of the rooms now were closed off, collecting dust, but he always knew where to find Alicia. There were only three places she could be found on an afternoon like this: teaching the children in the classroom, watching them in the playroom, or outside in the gardens by the side of the house.
Since it was such a beautiful day and lessons were over, he made the quick decision to wander to the front of the house, slipping through the great double doors and into the sunshine.
Big, white clouds floated lazily overhead; the sun peeked out from behind them, casting modest rays of golden sunshine across the expanse of land around him. Everywhere the light touched, it brought life to the beautiful garden. Perfect green grass seemed toglow,and the flowerbeds bursting with life seemed even more lovely in the afternoon sun. James found himself wishing he had more free time to admire the gardens, and everything that came with them. Since Alicia had arrived at the manor, hedidmake more of an effort to spend time outside.
He found the woman in question a few minutes later. Just like last time, she was perched on a thin wooden bench with a book in her lap - a different one this time, although he couldn't read the title from here. She had her head tilted back to enjoy the warmth, eyes closed.
It felt wrong, somehow, to interrupt her during such a moment. It felt private, just a woman enjoying the good weather, without worrying who saw. Yet before James could slink away and pretend he was never there, Alicia's eyes cracked open, and she offered him a shy smile. "Good afternoon, my lord. Enjoying the sun?"
Not nearly as much as she had been, but he kept that to himself. Instead, he wandered closer and replied, "Yes. Days like these aren't so common, so I'm enjoying it while I can."
She smiled widely, and it was a beautiful expression that made her entire face light up with easy delight. James had never noticed before, but she had a little dimple in her left cheek that gave her a sweet, innocent sort of look. The asymmetrical appearance of having a dimple on only one side was charming as anything.
"I often see you out here alone," he mused quietly, "Do you not get lonely?"
"I'm with the children all afternoon, and I've become rather attached to Nora, the young maid. Sometimes it's good to have some time alone."
As someone who spent most of his days alone, cooped up in his study, perhaps it was simply that they had a different perspective of whatalonemeant.
"But something tells me that wasn't why you sought me out?" she added, brows quirked in question. "Would you like to tell me what's on your mind, my lord?"
My lord.Of course, Alicia had always called him by his proper title, addressed him how staff were expected to. Yet he found himself wishing, just once, that she would call him James. Shaking his head, he wandered closer and perched awkwardly on the bench opposite her. There was just enough space between them to be proper, each bench bordering the little path, but it felt too close. Too intimate.
Alicia didn't speak. Instead, she softly closed her book and set it aside before leaning her elbows on her knees. She seemed to be waiting for him to speak, patient and unwilling to urge him on.
"I've been thinking more about what happened with Agatha on Thursday," he said after a moment, "and how unfair it was to you that she said those things. I can't pretend to understandwhyshe said those things at all - it's so unlike her." Well, that wasn't true. Hadn't Alicia said it was of Agatha's love for him, that she was jealous of his attention to other women? It was true that James hadn't spent much time around other women, certainly none like Alicia. Perhaps it made sense that Alicia felt threatened... but even so, it wasn't as if anything could ever happen between himself and Alicia.
Surely, Agatha saw that?
Biting down on his lip, James forced himself to focus. "I simply want her to know that her actions were uncalled for - but I don't wish to make you uncomfortable. I suppose... I suppose I'm asking for your permission to confront her because I don't wish to make you feel as if any of this is your fault."
She blinked up at him with wide, bright eyes. Her thick, dark eyelashes cast shadows across her cheeks, only emphasized by the way the sun shone directly above her. She was radiant, and she didn't even seem to realize just how beautiful she was. Eventually, Alicia let out a sigh and tilted her head to the sky. "It isn't my choice to make, my lord. Truthfully, itwasuncomfortable, but, well, she's a lady, and I'm just a governess. It isn't as if I could have said anything in my defense."
James winced; he couldn't help it, features scrunching before he had the chance to stop himself. Agathawasa lady, yes, and Alicia was a governess; but that didn't mean she had the right to mistreat Alicia that way. With a little stutter in his chest, though, James understood. Alicia couldn't have said anything for fear of stepping out of line, for fear of retaliation.
"Not that I'm trying to put the blame on Agatha," Alicia added after a moment. Her cheeks had flushed a beautiful pink, embarrassment flooding her petite face. "I don't want her to get into trouble, of course, and it really is no issue-"
"Of course it is," James cut in. Without thinking, he shuffled forward on the bench to reach out and place a warm hand over hers. He had really blurred the lines now between what was acceptable and what wasn't, but even so, he didn't draw his hands away. "You deserve to be angry, and if you are, I don't blame you. What Agatha did was uncalled for, and I know we've discussed it before, but I want everyone under my employ to be treated fairly and kindly." It was more than that, but James managed to hold his tongue. Softer now, he added, "Regardless of that,youdeserve to be treated fairly and kindly."
If she hadn't been pink already, now Alicia was positivelyscarlet.She ducked her head, nervous laughter escaping her lips, and just when James thought he had crossed the line, she turned to him with a beautiful, beaming smile. "Thank you, my lord. I don't wish you to fall out over this because I know she is a dear friend. Perhaps, in the future, I'll make myself scarce when Lady Bennington is around."
She shouldn't have to, but James felt a pang of sympathy, and he understood. He gave her hand a long, gentle squeeze before retracting his arm back to his side.
He didn't miss how Alicia seemed to deflate at the lack of contact as if his hand on hers was the only thing keeping her afloat. She continued smiling, though, and it really was a lovely sight.
"So, shall I write to her, then? I promise to keep your involvement to a minimum, but I do hope that I can get to the bottom of all of this."
Alicia nodded; a quick bounce of her head causing curls to flutter about her shoulders. They rustled in the breeze, but her hair was so thick that the curls hardly moved unless she did, no matter how windy. He thought they were natural too; not the artificial curls created by knotted rags and warm water as was the fashion these days. He couldn't imagine wanting to spend so much time on hair alone, but Alicia didn't need to anyway.
Shaking his head, James tried to dispel those thoughts. He shouldn't have been wondering about Alicia's hair, or any part of her for that matter. Now it washisturn to flush a gentle pink, and he quickly climbed to his feet in one jerky movement. "Now, I'm afraid I have a busy day, and I must be off. But... Iwillmake sure that Agatha doesn't bother you again."
She smiled up at him, still perched in her seat, eyes wide and appreciative. "Thank you," she said after a moment, "it really does mean a lot to me that you care so much."
Of course, I care,he wanted to say, but he didn't, for fear that Alicia might catch on to the feelings growing in his gut. Instead, he simply nodded. "Enjoy the rest of your afternoon, Alicia. I'll see you later."
He felt her gaze on his back, sensed her smiling at his retreating figure as he vanished back inside the manor. Strangely, he didn't hate it as he might have, had it been anyone else watching him so intently.
