The screen flickers to life, and for a heartbeat, everything around me fades away as I focus on the blurry image. I can barely make out the little shape on the screen.
“Everything’s looking great,” she says with a smile. “It seems you and your baby boy are both okay.”
I freeze.
A boy.
I blink rapidly, a rush of emotions flooding through me all at once. I hadn’t expected to hear the big news today. Not with everything else going on. My chest tightens, but it’s not from fear anymore. It’s something different. A sense of relief and hope. It’s joy amid all this chaos.
I look up at Rasmus, his eyes filled with something I can’t quite put into words. He gently squeezes my hand.
“A boy,” he whispers, his voice thick with emotion. “We’re having a little baby boy.”
I nod, tears springing to my eyes before I can stop them.
“Our son,” I say quietly, the weight of the added information settling in. I hadn’t known how much I needed something to ground me until this very second. Our son was the one to do the trick.
Rasmus bends down, brushing a soft kiss against my forehead. “We’re going to be okay, Haisley. All of us.”
The nurse cleans up the gel on my stomach and excuses herself from the room. I’m stuck staring at the screen where our son’s image lingers.
Something inside me shifts, and for the first time after my dad’s seizure, I can breathe normally again. It’s because there’s still something to look forward to. Something beautiful, something that’s already ours.
“We’ve got a healthy son, Ras,” I whisper.
Rasmus smiles at me, the relief in his eyes unmistakable. “We do. Now, we need to get you to relax so you both stay healthy.”
My dad’s been resting for the past hour, the room silent except for the steady hum of machines. I sit by his side, watching his chest rise and fall, until his eyes flutter open. The matching set to my light green eyes finds mine, hazy at first but then focused.
“Hey, Princess,” he says, his voice rough with sleep.
I force a small smile. “Hey, Dad.”
He shifts, adjusting himself against the pillows. “How’s everything?”
The question is simple, but it nearly breaks me. I exhale sharply, pressing a hand to my stomach. “Honestly, I’m not sure.”
My dad watches me for a long moment. “You found something new about the baby? Is everything okay?”
The question brings a genuine smile to my face. “It’s a boy.”
A tired smile tugs at his lips in return. “A grandson, huh? That’s something special.”
“I should be happy,” I sigh. “I mean, I am happy. But I’m also terrified. Every single detail we learn makes it more real, and Idon’t know how to handle all these feelings bottling inside me.”
His brows burrow, and he reaches for my hand. “Talk to me.”
I close my eyes, gathering my thoughts. “I have struggled to let Rasmus in fully.” Even his name is heavy on my tongue. “He’s been everything I could have hoped for and more. He’s been there every step of the way, and I know he wants to be there for me. Not only because we’re having a baby.”
“Then let him be there for you.”
“But I keep thinking what if something happens? What if I lose Rasmus or the baby?” I voice my deepest fear aloud.
My dad nods slowly, he understands exactly what I’m feeling. “Like you lost your mother.”
“Yeah.”
“Haisley, I know how much her loss shaped you even if you still had a great childhood. And how much you still carry all the emotional baggage with you. But do you know what I remember most about when your mother was pregnant with you?”
